I don't even remember why I ran into a pack of goblins anymore.
...... No, no, I wouldn't have understood the reason at the time I started running either.

It's a good idea to be able to have a good time with your friends.

Is it because I thought that even though I was helpless, laying down my life for the nobility would be worth it?

Was it because he just hated his existence and wanted to run to his death?

Or was it all of those reasons?


Such reasons may have existed in my subconscious.
But it wasn't those reasons that I was clearly aware of as I started to run.
What was dominating my heart was the messed up emotions.

''Haha! This is my revenge! To the Prime Minister, to this world, revenge!

You!

...... The carriage being attacked by goblins, with a man who looked like a girl's bodyguard cutting down a maddeningly screaming Gosha human being in the carriage, but even that supposedly shocking memory is somewhat hazy.

That's how bad the messed up emotions inside me were.

The hatred for this world that won't accept me, and the pity and anger for my existence that no one can accept me.
These emotions were so integrated within me that I didn't even know exactly what I was feeling anymore.

'Ugh!'

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

...... Just as if to smash it, I thrust my dagger into the goblin at the back of the line, and the next moment me and the goblin started fighting.




◇◆◇




The battle with the goblins, what it was like, I don't remember the details of it, only that I tried to attract the goblin's attention to me to help the girl.
All I remember is that I tried to draw the goblins' attention to me in order to save the girl.
I didn't know when they would come, but I was just stalling for time, believing that the knights would still come to the girl's aid.
The only thing that remains in my mind is that I avoided weapons and ran away with a desperate smile on my strong face to provoke the goblins.
But what happened after that was almost unrecognizable.

'This is ......?'

The next thing I know, I'm lying in a room of some sort.
I looked around dumbfoundedly for a while, feeling terribly tired and lightheaded.

'Oh, you're up!'

......

...... But I noticed a beautiful blonde girl right next to me, and I was reminded of the goblins.
It's a good thing that I'm a survivor.
I can't remember for sure, but I'm covered in wounds all over my body, which were obviously fatal, but I don't have a single scratch on my body anymore.
Only a top-tier party or a healer in the Order could do such a thing.
I managed to stall for time until the time the knights arrived, and on top of that, it seems I survived.

"...... haha.

...... But what came to my mind when I learned of this was not joy.
I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make the most out of your time with us.
It's not relief that I had somehow survived, but rather a sense of inferiority to the Knights' healers, whose abilities were beyond my own.
The idea that I could have gained a mate if I had a tenth of the ability of the healer who healed me, never left my mind.

'That you're awesome! That, or that was pretty cool! You saved our lives! Thank you!

...... Not true.

...... Huh?

...... Because I was thinking about that, I reacted strongly to the girl's words.
The next moment after I told her that, the frustration of having done it comes to my chest.
But it's only for a moment, and soon that feeling is filled with a sense of inferiority.

'I'm not that good. I'm a flawed healer.'

And the next thing I knew I was talking about myself to a girl.
...... In hindsight, it's easy to understand how stupid that was.
I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's going on in the world.
You can't understand what I'm talking about, and it wouldn't be surprising if you ended up being laughed at, or worse, killed with the adventurer who made you listen to an unpleasant story.


But she didn't take any of those actions.


'...... Ugh, giggle! Higgs! Oh, my God! That's terrible!

What? Hey, why are you crying?!

It's awful!


She listened to me and cried.
She seemed to regret that she was crying, but the next moment she forced her tears into a smile, turned to me, and opened her mouth.

'But I'm fine! Ana...... no. Your brother is a strong one! So everything else people say is bullshit! Don't worry about it!

Her face was full of confidence as she assured me so.
Her face was stained with tears, but she still smiled confidently and opened her mouth to me further.

''And when I grow up, I'll join your brother's party to protect you, so you won't have anything else to worry about!

Woohoo!


It was the first time since I became an adventurer that someone recognized me: .........





◇ ◇ ◇.





I didn't get those words in between me.
It's not that I think the girl lied or anything like that.
But the girl who told me this was young, and even more so an aristocrat.
It's not that I'm not interested in this, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to be an adventurer, let alone a knight.
The head of the Annalestrian family was tolerant of adventurers to the extent that he gave me, a lowly adventurer, a considerable amount of money as a reward, but even so, he would never allow his own daughter to become an adventurer.
After all, that is what adventurers are all about.


But the words the girl told me saved me.


I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one, but I'm not the only one.
And no matter how much power I had, no one would ever accept me and I would think I was useless, but that didn't make me desperate.

Even if it's an illusion, the fact that I can think that the girl might become my friend is the reason I've been able to live until now.

That's why I'm thankful for that girl.
It may not have come to pass.
Still, those words helped me. ......

...... Really, you remind me of that kid.

And it is the girl I compare Narsena to.
I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make it work for you.

...... It's not an aristocrat, and the hair color is completely different, but that's not really the case with Narsena.

...... really is a bit of a bummer.

So I scoff at my femininity and shake off the idea.
And as I turned away, I tried to talk to Narcena to get her in a good mood: ......

Hmm?

That's when I finally noticed that for some reason Narsena's ears had turned bright red.

''Narsena! Wha, what: ......

Hey, don't look at me!

It's not just that, on the contrary, the profile I caught a glimpse of was also bright red, and I was surprised by the sudden change in Narsena's face.
It's a good thing that you're able to have a good time with your friends. .........