'Ha, ha, ...... I don't know what I'm doing,'

I was surprised to see Mr. Lausto at Mr. Zeke's side, and a few minutes later I was upset and ran away.
I was deep in the city, breathing heavily.
My breathing is labored and people around me are looking at me suspiciously, probably due to the fact that I came to this place at full speed.

...... but I didn't have the time to be aware of them now.

Perhaps it was the acid deprivation, but the only thing that came to my fuzzy mind was the event I had just witnessed, my meeting with Mr. Roust.
It was something I should have been craving.

It's not a lot by any means, but the fact that I went to the labyrinth with Zeke and the others yesterday gave me a certain amount of savings.
From that moment I had taken action to find Mr. Lausto.
Of course, I wanted to give my savings to Mr. Lausto.

But the suddenness of the encounter upset me.
I had imagined over and over again how I would apologize and show my willingness to make amends when I met Mr. Lausto, which is why I panicked at the unexpected.

......... And then I ran away from that place.

If I had been aware of Mr. Lausto's presence at all at first, I wouldn't have panicked.
But then I was losing perspective in my anger at Zeke-san for telling me that I was excluded from defeating Phoenix.
Challenging the Phoenix to fight with the exception of me, the rear guard, would be nothing more than suicide.

'...... Why, why is this happening?'

...... but I had fierce regrets about acting on my emotions.

At the earliest, I did not have any anger towards Mr. Zeke in me.
There was only the feeling that I had done it.

'How could I have done it?'

And then the regret turned to frustration, and I unconsciously let those words drip from my mouth.
Making amends to Mr. Lausto, that was something I had to do with the highest priority.
Nonetheless, I feel a strong sense of remorse for myself for committing such a blunder.

I can no longer afford to fail .......

And in the midst of that emotion, I let those words slip out.
Because there is no more value in my existence except to make amends to Mr. Lausto.
I'm not going to be able to get the same amount of money as you.

Those people betrayed me and ran away ......

'Oh, no!'

It was then that I suddenly felt nauseated.
I ran into a secluded alleyway and held my mouth.

'Hi, excuse me ......'

Finally, while I didn't spit out the contents of my stomach, it didn't cure me of my worst mood.

The words I told the humans of the Lightning Sword, that I would make amends.
Those were not words I said without thinking.
I knew, after all that, that the people of the Lightning Sword were not good people.
And I knew that if I joined Lila's party, I wouldn't have to struggle again and work hard from the bottom, which bothered me terribly.

─ But even so, the fact that I had been invited by the Sword of Lightning to become a top-notch player did not disappear from me.

That was a big deal to me.
Before that, I had been at the bottom of the pyramid, but the lightning sword had lifted me up.
No matter what my true intentions were.
So I decided to repay the lightning sword by starting from the bottom again.

...... and yet, my feelings were trampled on in the worst way possible.

'How, do you,'

Every time I think about that moment, I get the feeling that I'm about to be covered in something black.
Something black, as if stagnant emotions have congealed.

I don't have time to think about ...... this stuff.

I try to distract myself from that feeling.
I try to preserve myself somehow through the compulsive need to make amends.

'Ha, I finally found it,'

......... Huh?

The next moment, my thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice that echoes in an alleyway that should be empty.
I raise my head in the direction the voice came from.

'Narsena, Mr?'

─ ─ And I was dumbfounded by the figure of the person who was there and muttered his name.



◇◆◇



A few minutes after meeting Ms. Narsena, I was being taken by her to an unpopular clearing.
On the way to the clearing, Ms. Narsena didn't try to talk about anything.
And by the way Mr. Narsena looked at me, I could imagine what he was about to do to me.

...... Perhaps, I thought, Mr. Narsena is trying to get back at me.

It is well known in the Adventurer's Guild that Ms. Narsena is a lover of Mr. Roust.
And that Narsena-san does not tolerate anything that treats her lover, Lausto-san, unfairly.
There's no way she would allow someone like me to do that.
I don't know what she will do to me now, but it will never be easy.

But even with that realization, I was not distraught.

I knew that I deserved it.
No matter what anyone did to me, it was just a natural punishment.

...... but contrary to my expectations, Narsena-san, who had reached the vacant lot, did not make any pretense of doing anything but sitting on a stone.

She just turned her gaze to look at us as if she were asking how we were doing.

'...... Nothing, do you not do?'

I couldn't help but ask that question of Mr. Narsena.

'I only came to warn you,'

...... Huh?

In response to my words, Narsena told me briefly.
But for a moment, I didn't understand the meaning of her words.
I was so upset that I let out a goofy voice.

''Don't get attached to making amends with your brother. Don't try to use your brother anymore.''

What?

...... but the following words from Narcena made it all make sense and got the blood out of my face.

I had no intention of doing such a thing, an obsession with making amends.
Nevertheless, when Narsena told me that, I couldn't deny her words.
The only thing that came to my mind was myself, who was only concerned with making amends to forget about the lightning sword.

It was not an obsession, but an ugly act that could be called dependence.
And I couldn't hide my upset at myself for doing such a thing.

'It's not that I'm going to mess with you. The reason why your brother wants nothing to do with you is because he doesn't want revenge or atonement, he wants nothing to do with you. But I don't want you to get involved.

...... As if she saw through my feelings, Narsena repeated those words.
At the very least, I couldn't raise my face to Ms. Narsena at her words.
I was driven by shame and the urge to disappear from this place with shame and pettiness.

'Don't get me involved in your inexplicable misery.

............!

...... But the next moment Narsena's words transformed my emotions into anger.

I'm not going to be able to say that I'm a fool for being involved in the lightning sword.

Narsena's words were probably right on the money.
I trusted someone I shouldn't have trusted, and as a result I was betrayed.
Despite meeting such an eye, I still can't divide up the lightning sword, and from Narsena-san's point of view, I would look like a dumbass.

Even though I understood that, I still couldn't control my fury.

Desperately, I tried to suppress my emotions.
I knew that this was a misguided takeout.

...... but the next thing I knew, I couldn't control my emotions and my mouth was open

What do you know about me?

The next second I screamed, a fierce regret spread across my chest.
Despite the fact that nothing the other person said was wrong, I took it out on them and screamed at them.
I had done that to someone for whom I should have apologized.

I can't complain about this anymore, no matter how much he embarrasses me.

......... eh?

But contrary to my expectation, Narcena-san was calm and collected.
Despite the fact that she had taken it out on me unreasonably, there was not even anger on her face.

Instead, what was on Narsena-san's face was a look of pity for me.

''Nah!''

I hadn't expected such an expression to be directed at me, and I couldn't hide my upset.
I am not someone close to Narsena-san, and there is no reason for me to be pitied like this.

''I don't mean to undermine your struggle, but still, you can't be stuck in it right now.

Narcena-san took one look at me, who was upset, and told me so.

''What you need to do now is not to be bound by unrequited love or to make amends.

Narsena's words, I couldn't understand their meaning.
I know it's not a good thing to be able to shake off unrequited love or obsess about making amends.
But I have no idea what I need to do now.

'What? What does that mean: ......

I asked Mr. Narsena to clear my doubts.
But Ms. Narsena doesn't show any signs of listening to my words.
She ignores my words and moves her shapely lips.

''Those who are members of your party said that we can take our share of all the rewards for the joint defeat of the Phoenix in order to arrange a place where you can apologize to your brother.

...

...... And with those words from Narsena, I finally understood what she was trying to tell me.

In my head, I can remember Lila and Zeke, who were concerned and caring and trying to cheer me up.
There was no reason why I couldn't understand how much of a deficit that would be, giving all of Phoenix's rewards to Mr. Laust and the others.
But still, in order to get me back on my feet, Mr. Lila and Mr. Zeke were willing to give up their rewards.

...... and yet I, on the other hand, was all about myself and not at all able to care for the two of them.

Lila had supported me during the lightning sword era, but even that I had forgotten.
I had friends who were trying to support me, who were trying to help me, and I was completely unaware of it.

But not anymore.

I really am a helpless child.
I was losing sight of the most important thing in my life.
But now I know.

I know how much Lila and Zeke have been caring for me.
And how important they are to me.

...... Still, the sword of lightning is smoldering in my chest, and something black is also sitting inside me, making a huge presence.

But still, I wasn't going to stop now because I finally realized what I had to do now, and I wasn't going to stop anymore.

'Well, thank you, Narcena!

And I bowed heavily to Mr. Narcena for reminding me of this.

''I don't think it's possible right now. But even so, I will definitely make amends to Mr. Lausto for what I've done so far. And thank you to Narsena-san. Truly, thank you very much!

As I shouted that, Narsena-san gave a small nod to me.
Then, after confirming that, I ran to Zeke-san and the others.

''First, we have to get permission to defeat the Phoenix: ......

His footsteps were much lighter than they were earlier.