134 Episode 117: Amae



For now, let's talk again one day.
 That brought the matter to an end, and the day was dissolved.

 It was easy on the way home because Demily had sent me a carriage.
 I'm not stinging Demily for money.
 Demily will drive you to Estella on foot. By being so obedient, it is implied that the 42 wards are in a position to be protected by the 40 wards and that they have no intention of opposing each other. This can also be said to be consideration between lords.
 Originally in a heavily-economic zone, Demily maintained her dignity by offering a carriage to her belly.
 Estella is making a good match.
 That's the aristocratic way of thinking.

"I'm glad. I think I can manage it."
"Yes... yes,"

 Estella looked relieved in the carriage home, but she seemed to be thinking about something.
 "When I suffer severe mental damage, I drag myself for a certain amount of time after that, and I feel like I want to go to bed today, so I don't know how to react to this, but..."

"It's another trilateral meeting. We'll have to work out more strategies this time."
"Yes... yes,"
"People in the 41st leg said that Medra would come to the table properly, and that it would be all right if you let them do it."
"Yes... yes,"

 ...are you breaking radio?

 Estella gazed out the flowing window and looked melancholic all the way.
 Well, I guess you have something to think about.
 To be honest, I've been hit with a lot of pain this time.

"Do you want to stop by the Yodamari-tei?"
"Oh.........no, I don'today."
"If you eat pudding, you may get rid of your fatigue."
"Yes... I suppose so." But I don't mind."

 Wow, you passed through!?

"Pudding is full of milk, so if you keep eating it, your breasts may grow bigger! Why, it's pudding! It's pudding!"
"Hmm... Jillo really likes his breasts,"

 Who!?
 Who on earth is this person!?
 Estella, I know, is not like an office worker who started to get tired of life like this!

"Well, Estella,"
"Huh?"
"Don't worry too much,"
"...."

 The short sound uttered never meant "understanding."

Think positively. You know what you've done wrong, and then you've been assured that you'll be next. I think this is quite a good condition."

 If you know your faults, make up for them.
 He was kind enough to let me know. That means you gave me a chance to start over. You can cut off the relationship without saying anything.
 But if you let me know that it won't happen, I can repent and show my new self from this moment on. From now on, you can walk on your own to avoid repeating the same mistake.
 The Medras say they'll see through to that attitude.

 reopen a forum for discussion

 That's the biggest concession they've given us.
 If you get results there, things will change completely. Stagnation breaks through and new relationships are built.

 Don't put on a sullen face at times like that.

"Aesthetica. Don't let your breasts get too excited."
"...yeah...yeah...yeah."

 I can't do this.

 Estella then glanced silently out of the window.
 Let's leave it alone for now. Thinking so, I also look out the window.

 The flowing scenery is a large, spacious street.
 It was the main street of the forty‐first wards.
 However, it is still quiet. The view... looked bleak.

 You may need to walk around this city once.

"Well, coachman,"

 Open a small window in the car and talk to the coachman.
 The coachman swerved a little and turned his head towards us. She is a tanned, wheat-skinned man wearing a straw hat. The smiling expression clearly conveyed the goodness of people.
 It's about showing how virtuous Demily is when these people serve.

"What is the specialty of the 41st leg?"
"Cooking? Well...."

 The coachman, Ojisan, traced his beard with his finger and thought for a few seconds before his face snapped and said with a smile:

"I suppose it's meat, after all right. A hunting guild eats the meat of a hunted beast. That's all I can do for me. Drinking goes on, doesn't it?"
"Is that cooking?"
"No, no. Sometimes it's better not to touch it badly."
"That's the case, too," Thank you."
"No, no,"

 sit deep in one's seat with a small window closed
 Is the specialty meat...?

 For that reason, I can't smell the savory smell of grilled meat. It's down the main street, though.
 If it's a specialty, it's okay to bake it all over the street.

 Little by little, I feel like I've come to understand the 41 wards.

 Shortly afterwards the carriage entered the 42nd leg.
 Stopped in front of the lord's house, we got out of the carriage. I thanked the coachman and saw him off.

"Well, Jillo," with this for me Take care when you go home."I was told in a weak voice, and I could only reply, "Oh, my gosh."
 He seems to be in a great deal of trouble.

 After all, this time it's nothing more than a 'just' that makes the other person admit that he's at fault.
 As for my fault, I only 'avoided mentioning where I don't need to apologize'.

 Estella was disrespectful to Ricardo, and there is no need to apologize, even though Medra and Demily may complain about it.
 However, I apologize for the inconvenience caused by that...

 Estella's failure to pay attention to Ricardo is a story of Estella and Ricardo, and there is no reason to apologize to other people's Medra for saying that she loved her as much as her parents.
 So this time I twisted the direction of the story.

 If she had apologized to Medra there, Estella would have been burdened with a burden she wouldn't have to bear. Every time something happens, I have to make sense to Medra.
 No matter how close you are, no matter how close you are to your family, you should separate the parts that need to be separated.
 So Estella wouldn't apologize.

 ...that may have become a burden.
 I thought about it as I looked down on Estella's back as she walked into the building.
 Apology is a kind of lightening thing to say. You can mislead your mind for a moment. But there's only a limited amount of time that you can mislead.

"Well, Estella may want to think a little by herself, too.

 That's what I said just now.
 No matter how close you are, you should divide where you need to divide.
 It's not my business to interrupt.
 this and that of the past between Estella and Ricardo
 As acting lord, communication with the lords of other districts and the guild chiefs of large guilds covering all districts. negotiations

 That's the last thing I know.
 As an outsider, it's something I shouldn't step into.

 That's why I should keep an eye on it.
 That's what I thought, but...

 I found myself stepping toward the lord's house.

 I know it's better to leave it alone now.
 But if asked, "Can I just leave it as it is?" the answer is no.

 No matter how much I was told, "I'd better leave it alone," I thought, "I don't want to leave it alone."
 My body was moving on its own.

 There are two maids standing at the gate. ...can you stop me? He suddenly walks out of the way and bows his head deeply. ...can I come in?
 When the two maids in front of the building saw me, they split from side to side and silently opened the door. ...Automatic door?

 What a poor security house! Is this all right with the lord's house!?

"Yasilo,"

 I thought, and Natalia, the final line of defense, appeared.

"... well, you may pass!"
"Is it a face pass?"
"We all know Mr. Jiro very well,"

 Natalia bowing respectfully. ... It's a different atmosphere from looking outside.
 Is it that? Do you feel like you have to be a little refreshed when your subordinates look at you?

"The lady seemed to be thinking about returning, and I was thinking about visiting Mr. Jiro."

 I'm in trouble if Estella asks me every time... Well, I'll take it off this time. That's what I meant.

"Now, this way,"

 Turn around and Natalia begins to walk like she's inviting me.
 Following him, the maids who pass by in the hallway stop and all bow deeply together. ...and I feel a little discouraged.

"Yasilo,"

 Natalia pauses in front of a room. I've never been to a room before.

"This is your bedroom,"
"Bedroom?"

 Are you feeling depressed?

"Your daughter is not here at the moment, and you can do whatever you want."
"You don't have to do anything unnecessary.

 What are you going to do if you take me to an absent place!?

"This is the dressing-room door," Among the chests at the back, we select s*xy underwear that tickles men's hearts, especially for the second and third layers..."
"Will you take me to the place where Estella is?"
"What!? But now that you don't have a daughter, you can catch... Huh!? A sophisticated play of fishing for underwear in front of her and embarrassing her..."
"What are you upset about, my dear!? Or is that so!"

 I can't stand looking at him at all!"

"This is the result of my own hard work in order to motivate Mr. Jiro.

 Don't think about anything anymore...

"...a sudden call like this is a rare."
"Huh? You mean Demily?"
"Yes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 He's had his own thoughts, hasn't he?
 Natalia, the head maid, cannot always stick to Estella.
 In particular, when you go to a familiar place like this, you often prioritize your duties. Demily is always friendly.
 In addition, it is said that it is not desirable to walk with his entourage too much from the standpoint of being a feudal lord "acting.'
 It's true that if someone like the deputy prime minister goes on a presidential visit to the neighboring town, he'll be a nuisance.

 Aren't you taking good care of yourself, Estella?

"Yasilo,"

 Knowing that, Natalia is holding back her desire to be around.
 He looks at me with a serious expression and bow deeply.

"Please take care of your daughter,"
"Oh... leave it to me,"

 I've come this far with the intention of doing something about it, even if I've had some trouble. It goes without saying.

 With thanks, Natalia gently opens the door.

"You can get a reward from the chest in the back..."
`I'm not opening the door of the dressing-room!'

 I'm going home. Make a U-turn!I'm in serious mode right now!

 I came to my office after I had snapped up the fool's Natalia.
 This seems to be Estella's workroom.

 With two knocks, Natalia slowly opened the door.
 I thought you wouldn't have to wait for an answer, but...Natalia may have special powers. That's proof that Estella has a lot of trust.

"Miss, sir. It's you, sir.
"What? Customer... Ah."

 Estella sat behind her office desk, piled up with papers.
 When I find him, his expression becomes slightly cloudy.
 You can see mixed waves of emotion.

"Well, I hope you will take care of the rest."

 Natalia will read the air and leave the room, if she really wants to be around.
 ...I'll have to report the results properly later.

 Well, will you do your best to report good results?

"Aesthetica. It's been a long time no see.
"What is that... you haven't left?"
"I forgot to say something important,"
"Well... let me hear it for you said.

 With a weak smile, Estella rests on the back of her chair.
 I feel languid, emotionally exhausted.

"Good job,"
"...yes, maybe." Yeah. I'm a little tired."

 Estella exhales, then puts her weight on the armrest and rests on her cheekstick.
 His cheeks are crushed and he looks sulky.

"...that's exactly what Medra says."

 As if to sigh, Estella exhales a thick pool of words in her heart.

"Really... you were so right that I hated it."

 What Medra says is that he was not reasonable with Ricardo.

"Do you remember what Ricardo said?"
"I have a disposition to forget bad things,"
"Phew... looks like a palm-ro."

 After laughing, lean back on your back again.
 The chair creaks and Estella's body sinks. My red hair swings gently.

"You said, 'Forget about the kindnesses you've been giving me before,' didn't you? So I thought about it... I was given preferential treatment after all. I just took it for granted... I was given preferential treatment."

 I wonder if they've been so damaged by this thought.
 Certainly, kindness received from others tends to lose sight of its value.
 It's the first time I've ever felt the value of a mother since I started living alone... It must be a universal experience, but that's exactly what it is. The benefits we had enjoyed so far were actually very grateful, and the other person had gone through a lot of trouble.
 If you're a mother, wake up early in the morning and prepare meals, wake up your family when it's time, hand out pre-washed clothes, and clean up after seeing your family off...
 Every day they do something troublesome, like refusing to do it without taking it for granted.
 However, those who receive it often take it for granted.

"I had benefited from it, but I had nothing but complaints and complaints."

 Everyone is liable to the same mistake.
 No one can reflect on their circumstances... especially while they are blessed.

"I used to hate the 41 wards... no, I didn't... I hated the 41 wards." for it seemed to me as if my father had been bullied by Ricardo's father."

 But it's only one aspect of Estella's vision.
 It's not that it's not true, but it's not the only truth.

"So I hated Ricardo's father. And of course, I hated his son Ricardo."

 Without trying to dress up or gloss over it, Estella simply says, "I hate you." There was a sense of grace in admitting his faults.

"Well, Ricardo, of course, is of that character. Even if you don't have a father, you can say that you never got along with him."

 Estella says with a slight self-deprecating smile.
 Well, Estella and Ricardo are likely to choose the exact opposite path and means, even if they have the same goal.

"But I am sure it was my part that complicated what I just "hate"..."

 Breathe out gently and Estella bites her lips tightly. Then he starts talking as if he had decided.

"Ricardo's father... I didn't attend the funeral when the former lord of the 41st arrondissement died... because my father told me I didn't have to." I knew how I felt about Ricardo, and it wouldn't be good to make such a bad disturbance on such occasions, so I didn't attend the funeral."

 If your father told you not to go, you wouldn't be pushing him to attend. But I don't know what it looks like from the perspective of others.

"And I did not participate in the wedding ceremony for the new lord."
"You're going to have a wedding party,"
"Well, it's as if I'm just going to give my best regards in the future, let alone the formalities..."

 It is probably intended to inherit the connections held by the former lord.
 But if Estella's father, the lord of the manor, was present, it would not be a problem."

"When I think about it, I have not attended any of the 41 wards. ...it's too late to seem that you've noticed it since... well, if you keep going on like that, you'll find it unpleasant...

 Yes, even small things seem irreverent if they continue too much.
 In fact, Estella is neither a lord nor a formal successor. This is because Estella's husband will be the lord of the manor once they get married, and Estella will not necessarily succeed to the lordship.
 That level of standing...but if you think about it, you won't have to attend the event...

"Medra is right... I was conveniently using the acting lord and the woman. It was half done..."

 the daughter of a lord
 the position of being a feudal lord
 Therefore, what was overlooked was no longer the case when the lord fell ill and assumed the post temporarily.

"In building a street-gate in the Forty-two wards, I took no account of what had been done. While benefiting greatly, he said that the gate was different from the 41 wards, and that he would not be competing for users, or that he was always writing about the day after tomorrow... and that he had not said anything to say in the first. Besides, I just wanted to do with letters...."

 the benefits which the Forty-two Wards????

 Estella told me that one of them was a branch of the Hunting Guild.
 It seems that Estella's father asked the former lord of the 41 wards to set it up in order to subdue the evil animals that were entering the 42 wards. The 42 wards have been asked to leave.
 The members of the branch are treated as residents of the 42 wards.
 However, with the money of the headquarters of the 41 wards, the town gate in the 41 wards is used.
 Nevertheless, the prey hunted by the Usse branch is accounted for in the profits of the 42 wards.
 It's like taking away the interests of the 41 wards.

 Leaving it alone, the 42 wards began to build a street gate in their ward.If Estella had taken over the lordship instead of acting, the commitments and rules reached by her fathers would have to be discussed again with Ricardo, the lord of the present 41 wards.
 Estella, however, was in the position of acting director. So Ricardo overlooked the situation as it was without any particular scrutiny.

 However, it was Estella, the acting director, who pushed ahead with the town gate plan.
 Then, they must have accused him of having no greeting, saying that there is a reason to pass, and that he should continue to take a position of being given preferential treatment.

"You've made me realize it. How ignorant and irresponsible I have been... ...but it may be too late to realize it now."
"Nothing,"

 I tell Estella what to say to her when she's struggling, exhausted, and a little refreshed.
 It may sound a little roundabout, but now it will be conveyed.

"A lot of people can't even notice it. You're one step further than I know."
"...I was made to notice,"
"But there's still some way to save it,"

 This is no poor consolation.
 It seems easy and quite difficult to notice.

 There are a lot of people in the world who end up living as part of it.
 But there is always one man. There are only a number of one-on-one relationships among our companions.
"Because everybody is doing it," "Because everybody says so," and "Because everybody is together" are very dangerous ideas.

 What would you think if someone you'd met for the first time had been in a circle of friends for ten years, and became equally familiar?
 The reason is obvious to third parties, but the parties do not notice it. It often confuses me, wondering, "Why am I so cold‐blooded?"
 I can't see my surroundings because I'm caught up in the idea of just myself.

 Relationships are always one-on-one. It's about building up a friendship with each other.
 If you don't notice it and act in the same way as others, friction will inevitably occur. I don't have the bonds I've built up.

 Estella has neglected to do so, and only one foot is thrust into the realm of her lords.
 Considering the situation in the 42 wards, it may be unavoidable.
 Other wards understand that, so they don't say too harsh things and let it go. Even that Ricardo is.

 However, it was not yesterday or today that the lords of the 42 wards fell.
 More than a year has passed.
It's long past the time when people say, 'I can't help it.' Nevertheless, the Forty-two wards have not given any answer and remain dependent on the kindness of the people around them.
 This is an issue that Estella's father, the present lord, must settle. If you can't go back, don't go back, you have to officially put your position in someone's hands, not in a surrogate.
 If you can't even do that, Estella, who is currently in charge of acting, has to make that decision.

 I guess that's about it when Medra said she was half done.

"I'm in trouble, to be honest... ...I didn't know too much about my faults..."

 I'm devastated.
 Estella plodded herself into a chair as if to express the words.
 Maybe I'm the only reason why I don't cry.

 I can't set foot in the matter of the lord.
 The excuse that ... is half‐baked, isn't it? Don't interrupt me like this.

 ...and I'm responsible.
 The reason why Estella is so upset is that.

"It seems quite a bit of a mess,"
"Well... as I expected,"

 Cover your eyes with one arm, raise your jaw and look up at the ceiling.

"... it's painful to be confronted with my own shame."

 I guess it's because I saw such a face.
 I have no intention of putting on any particular appearance.
 I don't mean to pretend to be a hero... ...but I was spouting these words.

"Leave it to me,"
"...what?"

 Walk over the office desk and right next to Estella.
 It's an act of rudeness that would not have been possible. Behind the desk is Estella's territory. There is nothing to complain about when it is called a declaration of war, such as stepping in there.
 But I step in.


 I think I'm special to you.


 in such a way as to ask
 Stand right in front of you and look down on Estella.

"...what is it?...what!?"

 Lean forward on one armrest, lean forward.
 She and I get stuck in the back, and Estella loses her escape.

"Jillo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

 keep one's eyes on the door
 Don't worry. You won't come in. Natalia left it to me.

"I'll make up for your deficiencies. If you're tired, I'll support you. When you want to cry... I'll be by your side."
"... ya, shiro...?"
"You are short-sighted and impulsive, and, to put it bluntly, a little stupid."
"What...?"
"So! ... I'll help you."

 It's impossible for him to be a good lord in a few days or weeks.
 Then if you can't do it alone... someone's gonna have to help you.

"If you're worried about anything, talk to me. If you get lost, ask me for your opinion. If you want to accomplish anything, don't hesitate to rely on me."
"...but if I were to be spoiled again..."
"What are you saying?"

 You're really stubborn.
 Why take it easy...
 Why do you place importance on the progress...

 The important thing is that we can be happy.

"It is only with the use of competent men that the lord should be."

 A man of my size thinks it's okay to take special time and energy to do it."
 Be proud of your ability to make such a big man like me, acting lord.

"Change your point of view as much as you want. For all intents and purposes. If anyone else says anything, try to put the best end to it and shut it up."

 You don't have to accept the other person's point of view, nor do you have to be honest with him.
If they say, "You're sloppy," say, "You're on the point."If you say, "It's all about other people's will," laugh, "It's something charismatic thing to do."
If you are accused of being a coward, be proud to say, "That's the best compliment." Every great man who will make a name for himself in history has a more than a few cowardly aspects. That's what "cowards" or "conspirators" will say to each other like that to posterity. Let me have my own way.

 It seems to be a "reward" in some communities to be called "pervert!" by beautiful girls. It's all right to keep that spirit in minded.

"You have me," The best brain not in Demily or Ricardo."
"... I think I'll say that myself."
"I'm sure I'll tell you," Who do you think I am?"
"...Oba Jiro. of the forty-two wards -- queer."

 The so-called eccentric or heretic may be an incomprehensible genius.

"Trust me, Estella."
"... yes."
"I think I can do most of the work except for my heart's trouble."
"...why do you always say so many words?"

 At last, Estella spoke ill of her.  
 Yes, that's all right. You just have to put a cool smile in your eyes like that.

 The eyes twinkle the light.
 A transparent membrane forms on the surface of the retina and begins to moisten when it is leapfrogged.

"I'm sorry."

 Turn the chair around and turn your back on me.
 curl oneself up and press one's face
 Come and jump in, as honest as you are at times like this.

"………yes…thank you." Hey, there's a lot of sudden complications... ...but I'll sort out my feelings tonight... ...tomorrow... ...because I'll be fine tomorrow... ...so... I'm sorry about today."
"... Is that so?"

 If you jump into my chest, I guess you feel like something is going to break down as acting lord.
 When the unsteady needle leans heavily toward the woman.
 This is the line Estella can't yield.
 I can't step into this.

"Well, to-morrow," Come and eat at the Yodamari-tei."
"...yes. Definitely."

 Tap me on the back and I head for the exit.

"Oh, that's right."

 Stop in front of the door and leave a few words behind.

"Good job".

 My arms extend from the back of my chair and stretched out from the back of my chair.
They say, "Thank you."

 I'm doing the same thing as Ricardo, but the message I receive is so different.

 As I left the office, Natalia was there, bowing deeply.
 Don't do it. It's not the nature of it.

"………………to the gate."

 Natalia started to say something, and in the end she said nothing.
 I wondered if I was referring to the present lord.
 He has been ill for more than a year and has not appeared in public. ...probably difficult to return to as lord.

 But it's wrong of you to tell me that.
 Natalia has a good grasp of the area.
 He doesn't make lame remarks or make unnecessary inquiries. It's a very comfortable environment for me.

 He bowed deeply again at the gate, and I left the lord's house.

 After a short walk, words suddenly trickled out of my mouth.

"...what is it?"

 I didn't expect Estella to say such a thing to me.
 I never thought that the day would come.
 The lord of the manor thought it was for him to take advantage of it as he pleased.
 I've chosen a position to protect it aggressively.

 "I was supposed to use it, but I didn't know I was reaching out..."

"That kind of guy, Jeanette is enough..."

 I really... what am I doing?
 I ran out of the Forty-two wards and got into trouble with the neighboring wards. . . .

 In the world of storytelling, it is fixed that the brave and heroes come from other worlds.
 But the reality is that it doesn't work that well.
 Coming from a different world, I'm just a swindler. Heroes are no good, they're just bad guys.

 I... I can't believe I'm helping people...

"Ah, Mr. Jiro!"

 While I was thinking about it, it seems that I had returned to the Yodamari-tei.
 Jeanette was waving in front of the store.

"………………Ah."

 Oh, my God.
 What's this feeling.........

 Look at the Yodamari-tei.
 Waving his hand in front of me, he greeted me with a smile... ...maybe it was because he had been out until the 40th leg... ...I was relieved.
"Oh, I'm back," I thought, "that's what I thought."

"Good job".
"Ah... just so,"
"Welcome home,"

 I was healed by such a casual remark, beyond description.

"Genet... Sorry."
"What? Why?"

 I turn away from Jeanette and enter the Yangdari-tei as if I were running away.

"...I'm ashamed of myself."
"Huh!? Did I do anything, Mr. Jiro?"

 Straight through the dining room and through the kitchen, stride through the courtyard and stairs.
 I don't think anyone would have seen him... this sloppy, loose face.


 d*mn.........
 I'm quite spoiled, aren't I?

 I can't say anything about Estella.