236 Recollection 14 Estella



I've lost all the work I've accumulated so much work.
 Well, is it strange that you say "it's a shame?" What I had accumulated was more of a problem...

"...this is the time,"

 I've been in my private room since the morning and I've been immersed in my work... No, I went to complain to Natalia, who had sold me fights without any meaning on the way, but I've been working in this room for the rest of my life.

 My spine cracked as I stretched my arm overhead.

 The last bell rang no more than two hours ago. It's eighteen o'clock now.
 I'm sure you'll be hungry. I haven't had breakfast or lunch today.

"...you're still hungry at times like this."

 Jiro forgot my name.
 That's not all... maybe you're talking about me...

"No way,"

 scratch out the words that come into one's head
 It's impossible for Jiro to do that.
 There's no way that palm will lose to the devil.

 But... Regina said it was a "trouble."
 That Regina had a difficult look on her face .........

"...really, I'm all right.........is that so?"

 While I was absorbed in my work, I was getting ready.
 Whenever Jiro came to see me, I was always going to stop working and see him.

 I was sure you would come and see me to fix my memory.
 ...but Jiro didn't come to see me.

 Soon the sun will set.

 Maybe... Jillo is already talking about me......

"...what!"

 I'm going to give my jaws up, blaming hunger for my fast sinking feelings.

 keep one's eyes dry
 I won't cry for you.

 I swore that day.
 when strengthened
 We must not let Jiro bear any more hardships.

 a gluttony meet

 Jiro fixed the friction with the 41 wards caused by my negligence. Not only that, but it created a stronger connection than ever before.
 at the expense of one's own life
 in a way that carries all the ill will on one's shoulders


 My tears...died then.


 I don't have to cry anymore.
 I don't have time to cry. I'm a lord. I made up my own mind and did it myself.

"Good! Let's go eat!"

 ...maybe there's a palmro there. What a faint expectation!
 I'll head to the Yangdalutei.

 The only thing I'm scared of is...

 What if I were the only one forgotten?

 If they were all back together as usual, and I was the only one who... ...forgotten."
 It may not have been the time to be immersed in work. Maybe I should have been more aggressive in going to see Jiro!
 Maybe that's how everyone else has been reminded...!

 Jillo might have thought that he didn't need me . . . . . . .

"...! What are you talking about!"

 stick one's cheek on one's own

 Don't be spoiled.
 That's not the case...

 The thing to fear most is... that Jiro will suffer alone.
 You have to carry the strain on your shoulders and do it for us.

 ...don't repeat the same mistake over and over again... ...I'm angry! I'm so angry at how bad I am... ...I'm really angry...

 I put on my overcoat and patted my cheek regretfully, perhaps a little too hard.
 ...what are you doing, really...it's disgraceful.

 Blowing out the candles, the office was enveloped in dusk.
 I mocked myself again, thinking foolishly, that if I were to be swallowed up in the dark and disappear... would Jiro be worried about me?

"Are you going out, Estella?"

 As I left the room, Natalia called out to me.

"Oh, I'm going to the Yodamari-tei."
"Well, the sun is setting, so please be careful. I have a report on the repair of water leaks, and I cannot accompany you."

 The leak has been repaired. I'm glad...

"It's all right. The streets are bright."

 I'm not the weakest woman to be protected.
 And the bricks of light that illuminate the streets are one of the benefits Jiro has brought to the city. All the beautifully maintained roads, all the sewage that ran all over the city...
 So when I walk down the street... I feel like I'm being protected by Jiro.
 Even if you're not there, you know.

 With Jiro, I can be as strong as ever.

 It's no more trouble for me now than walking on the street at night.
 I'm not afraid of anything.
 What's really scary is that... it's gone.

"This way, Estella,"

 Gently, Natalia holds out her handkerchief.
 Oh... I wonder if you noticed the swelling in your cheek.

 Natalia is... a very attentive and reliable head waiter.

"Thank you. I'll use it."

 Bite down the embarrassment and pick up the handkerchief.
 be a bit thick and big It's a manly handkerchief that doesn't fit Natalia's image.
 Did you have this handkerchief, Natalia?"

"It's a palm-like handkerchief,"
"What!""Please don't hesitate to smoke,"
"I won't!"
"No. If you don't use it properly, you'll be lying!"
"Oh, in the first place! Why does Natalia have a palm handkerchief?"
"What is it to smoke?"
"It's not 'What's that?'"

 I don't want to think I stole it...

"I used to get it from my pocket when I bumped into it."
"You're stealing it!? It's pickpocket, pickpocket.
"Instead, it's an equivalent exchange because it's blank."
"I can't tell you!"

 What should I do? Our chief waiter is finally at the end of his career...
 I wouldn't call him a good-natured, dependable head waiter!

"Didn't you?"
"It must be bad!"
"Then please return it to Mr. Jiro,"
"What..."
"I can't leave this place, for I have some papers left to repair the leak."
"... Natalia,"

 You... so that I can make an excuse to go see Jiro...

 After all, I'm very concerned about... well, I see.
 Haha. That's no match for me... ...d*mn it, I'm going to cry.

"I'm busy, so please come over a little bit of course.
"You must re-educate your attitude towards your lord once!"

 Seriously. I don't know how far I'm joking because I'm serious about it's a joke.
 ... after meeting Jiro, Natalia keeps pushing in strange directions... This might be necessary to hold him accountable.
 Yeah! That's right!
 I'll give you back this handkerchief and make it clear where you are responsible!

 ... Let's talk to Jiro.


 I want to hear Jiro's voice...


"... well, I'll be back.

 The pure wish that pops up in my mind makes my cheeks warm.
 What are you thinking about? I don't think she's a girl in love...

 He hurried down the corridor and left the house.
 stride through the garden and call the gatekeeper out of the property.
 stop short of going down the highway and onto the main street

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 squeeze a thick handkerchief in one's hand
 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Well, it's coming out,"
`Oh my gosh!'

 My heart screamed when I was approached from behind.

 Looking back, there was someone there who should not be seen as the last thing I was going to do.

"Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya?"
"No, it's almost dinner time. I thought you might be going to the dining-room, but... I guess it was a slap on the wrist."

 Did you wait for me... and give it to me?

"And what were you going to do with the handkerchief?"
`Oh, my dear!'

 Jiro is grinning at me.
 ......d*mn it! Look as if you can see everything!

"Oh, this! Natalia told me to give it back to you, so I brought it!"
"Oh, yes,"
"Oh, really!? I don't care if you play "Spiritual Judgment!"

 I didn't tell a lie!
 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

`Do you want to play the "Spiritual Judgment?"'

 Jillo giggles.

 His face was so innocent... he had an unspeakable emotion that seemed to stir my heart.
 I understand this feeling.........
 I don't want to lose it. This time with Jiro... this expression that shows me.

 I'm afraid of losing it.

"What? You called me so many times when you met me."

 That's why I make him sulk by saying such an insane curse.
 By doing this, we can hide the pitiful expectations that Jiro will be kind to us.

"I didn't really understand 'Spiritual Judges' then. Look, that's it. You just want to do what you've just learned, don't you? That's how it felt."
"I couldn't stand being associated with such a thing." and even though I know it's all right, it's quite scary, "The Spirit's Judgment."
"I'm sorry," But you called me, too, and you're in love with me, aren't you?"
"Yasilo had one more time!"

 swell to the fullest extent
 What's this?
 How long have I been like this?

 ...that's it, is it?


 It wasn't until I met Jiro that I became like this.


"Well, I'll do you a favor," Is that why?"
"One? Anything?"
"No. I'll take care of your request.""What, then?"

 I've never heard of anyone deciding what to ask for.

"I'll do it, that'said he. I already have a new one."

 he pointed to my handkerchief.

"Take good care of yourself,"
"I won't!"
"You wanted to, didn't you?"
"No way!"
"Well, can I play "The Spirit's Judgment?"
"Oops! Wait a minute now!"Oh, oh, no, that's not what I mean, but it's not guaranteed to be safe... ...oh, oh, oh! Why are you pinpointing where I don't want to be hit... smirking! Oh my gosh!"

 Oh my gosh! This is what Jiro is... Oh my gosh!

 Oh, my face is hot!
 When I look up with a handkerchief in my hand, I smell a faint scent of palmro. Mmm! My face gets even hotter!

"You were sniffing when you got into my bed,"
"Will you stop using misleading expressions? When you rented a bed so that you wouldn't catch a cold?"
"Yes, at that time, I'll smoke..."
`Don't say so!'

 It's hard to deal with!
 Why do you remember so many trivial things!?
 I remember all the things that matter clearly... ...how come you can't remember my name?

"... you know, I just asked you a favor. Will you let me decide?"

 I have a favor to ask you.
 But...

"I can't do it,"

 Jillo flatly rejects the idea.

 Why don't you listen to me at a time like this?
 He always jokes and shrugs off his true feelings... but he's done things that make me pay attention... ...what do you want me to do?"

 I'm trying to be strong... I'm not going to cry... I'm not going to bother you... I'm trying so hard...

"I don't like it... I ask you to do what I want."
"I can't do it,"
"Why!"

 I couldn't stand it, so I tried to bite him... he hugged me.
 It's not just a touch of physical contact, just like usual... it's like lovers... it's solid, it's hot, it's hugging...

 I can hear Jiro breathing in my ear...

 My arms are about to lift... ...and I want to hug Jiro.
 Not only can I be hugged unilaterally, but I can't...
 But I don't have the courage to do that.........I don't know if I should do that."

 Why do you do this when you don't listen to my request?
 Now... I don't know why...

`Why... I don't know... I don't know... I don't know!'

 My thoughts are choked up in my throat and I can't pronounce them correctly.
 It's a tearful, mumbling, unreliable word.

 My chest ached, and when I breathed in, I heard a shrill, husky sound like a scream.

"Your request is--"

 I hear a quiet voice in my ear.
 Slowly, accurately, carefully delivered to my heart... Jillo's voice is pouring into my heart.

"I'll make sure everything comes true without you telling me."

 So... don't ask me to do that?

"I have a favor to ask you to grant me. Wouldn't it be a good deal to keep it apart from what you've promised?"
"What.........that'

 Can you think of anything but a good deal... ...and a good deal... ...and a good and a bad account?"
 Come on... Come on.........


 You're really Jiro.


"Well... "

 It's frustrating...
 I can't believe that such a simple thing... that I'm really happy...
 It's frustrating that Jiro's warmth is so calming.

 It's frustrating, so I'd like to spoil him and embarrass him."

"How can I remind you of my name?"

 Wow... I can make such a sweet voice...
 It's kind of weird.

"If you think back on the past, you may be able to recall it." For example... would you tell me the color of your nipples?"
"You've never told me, have you?"
"Fill your face in the valley."
"There's never been a valley, I'm sorry to say..."
"In my hometown, there is a culture of 'guessing' and if you have bare skin, you'll have a good time..."
"Yasilo......I'll stab you."

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Well, don't you like big breasts? Mine..."
"Foolish things! There are no noble and humble milk!"
"...do you mean to say a good thing?"

 It's getting ridiculous to be stuck.
 I think it's about time you let me go...

"I like you, your heart."
"What!"

 Hey, stupid! What kind of joy do you have, with this kind of s*xual harassment line...
 ... d*mn it! I'm glad to hear that!

"It's easy to play with".
"I'm glad I didn't raise my hands,"

 I'll stab you absolutely.

"It's fun to talk to you."
"...to..."

 The strength of Jiro's arms tightens.
 It seems like a palm bigger than me is coming over... a little bit painful.But... I don't hate it.

 It's as if Jillo was clinging to me... ...because I could see Jillo shaking a little bit... ...I can't stand it and love it.

"... you know. Can you just ask me a question?"
"... well, that's fine."

 answer a voice close to one's ear
 I can't see my face.
 What I understand is that my voice is a little less reliable than usual, and the scent of palmro... body temperature.

 I gently closed my eyelids and gave myself up to every palmro I could feel.

 His arms naturally rose, and he put his back on...He was patting it with a bang.

"You always get angry when you talk about your chest."
"I'm not tired of it. I'm just correcting the factual error."
"And I got angry and sulky, and sometimes I was off guard and laughed..."
"I'm really tired. with you."
"Well... you like me, don't you?"
"……………… I see."

 ... oh. Why are you about to cry... why are you so happy... you must be saying something so nice, right now.

"I don't want to forget you..."
"What..."
"...I thought so from the bottom of my heart.
"…………………"

 My heart beats fast...
 The world is shaking...

 Everything but Jiro disappears from the world......

"I was scared... when I met you and talked to you... ...if I couldn't remember... ...I couldn't go and see you."
"...."

 Jillo.........
 No, Jillo.........

 Don't make me cry... You won't be able to answer properly.

"Have you kept me waiting?"
"...huh!"

 I wanted to say no, but the words didn't come out in my heart.
 So I shook my head as hard as I could.
 in order to be transmitted to Jiro

"………………I'm glad."

 Let out a long, very long breath.
 How anxious were you... ...Yashiro.........

"I won't... I won't... ...in turn... ...you're stupid."

 Before I knew it, my arm, which had been patting him on the back, was holding onto his clothes.
 Stiffly... strongly.

"Well... that's not so much.
"Huh...?"

 I've never thought it so difficult to speak.
 All I could do now was make a minimal noise.

 My ears, my heart... I'm all waiting for Jiro's words.

 The voice of Jillo that we shall hear next...


"Estella".


 ...no! I can't hold this back.


"I remembered your name properly, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm glad."


 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"... well... well!"

 …to fall.

"Jillo!"

 This time, I firmly dig my arms into Jiro's body.
 Closer. So that you can feel Jiro closer!

"It's slow...! It's slow, Jiro! How long are you going to keep me waiting?"
"I'm sorry..."
"I won't forgive you!"
"Then how can you forgive me?"
"You will do me a favor!"
"Oh, a handkerchief, isn't it? I'll do it." Do as many things as you like."
"What!? But I won't!"
"Is that so?"
"Yes!"
"Why, you... ...now I can't believe it."I'm making you sniff."

 When I was told that I was sniffing... I finally realized what I was looking like.
 Burying his face around Jiro's neck... ...certainly he's sniffing... ...no... because the smell of Jiro calms down... ...wow."Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?

"Why are you hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me, hugging me!"
"Huh!? You're the one holding on to it, 'Geez!'"
`I'm not holding on!'

 Stretch out your arms and move away from the palmro.

 The smell of palmro remains throughout the body even if the body is apart.
 ...oh! My face is hot!

"...you must have a red face."
"But you didn't! Isn't it the palm palm that's bright red?"
"What!? Oh, I'm not! Uh, you know, that! Magic grass! That's right! I was a little nervous because they were playing with my memory! ... Oh, look! It's all his fault! I didn't want to hug him!"He showed me a small, tiny seed.
 It's not manly to blame such a small thing!

"I only comforted you because you were crying!"
"You were the one crying!"
"I'm not crying!"
"You cried! I'm going to play "Spiritual Judgment!"
"Try it!"

 glaring at each other...

 But I feel embarrassed all of a sudden.

 What are you doing, us?

`... well... this time it's the magic-grass that's the cause... and I'll forget that... and don't hold a woman indiscreetly next time!'
"Yes, I know!"

 Hmm... let out a breath.
 I'm sure we can have a normal conversation again.


 I'm a nobleman and a lord.
 I can't think of anything like that at the momentarily.

"Well, let's go home,"
"Hey, aren't you going to the cafeteria?"
"That's enough for today."

 I don't like to eat, but I can't eat anything.

"If you're going home, I'll send you."
"All right. The road is bright."
"That's not the case,"
"And I'm stronger than you,"
"That's not the problem,"

 When I start walking, Jiro follows me.
 You're the one who's afraid of the road at night.

 I don't mind. on the road at night

 But Jiro keeps following me.

`I don't care!'
"I don't like it!"
"You're selfish!"
"Oh, yes,"

 You've got to be more open. What a fellow!

"A pushy man is hated by girls. What are you going to do? He's not even popular."
"Oh, my dear.

 Then he lined up next to me and said, without looking at me.

"I'd rather be hated by other women than let you go alone."

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
 At a time like this... at this time... at that time...

"Well... do as you please?"

 ...I can't see your face anymore.
 What's that? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


 In the end, Jiro followed me all the way to the gate, and when I passed through the gate he said, "Good‐bye."


 ...... Jillo.
 I'll go see you again the day after tomorrow. Let's have a more normal conversation then.

 ...I can't do it tomorrow. I'm so embarrassed that I don't have the confidence to see my face......


 When I returned to my private room, I remembered that I had a palm handkerchief in my hand... I had to struggle all night facing my own desires.