90 an unanswered problem




 Suddenly, I woke up.

 Or, more accurately, I became clearer than .......
 I felt like I was drifting in a slumber, and I had always been conscious.

 But if you're clearer, it can't be helped.
 Unable to meditate any longer, Noel slowly pulled himself up.

I don't know if I've ever been this sensitive.

 If I say so myself, I thought I had some nerve.
 I never expected that I would lose sleep wondering if I would be king or not.

 I'm not cut out for it and I know very well that I'm not cut out for it.
 But I've been told that I can leave the business of being a king to you and live my life the same way I always have.

 And ...... suddenly comes to mind the image of the elves we talked about today.
 You will be able to see the smiles on their faces, and there was a genuine joy in their faces.

 You will be able to see that they are truly happy to meet you. ...... It seems that I have a sensitivity as much as any other human being, to the extent that I can't ignore it.

...... It's really a surprise to me.

 Even though the other party was a compatriot, he was a stranger until now.
 In the first place, Noel was honestly never really aware that he was an elf.

 You've been with him all through your childhood and after he was killed, you made your living as a blacksmith in the capital.
 I don't have much contact with people and I don't remember being discriminated against because I quickly became famous as a blacksmith.
 After that, I went to the frontier and lived the same kind of life, so I rarely had the opportunity to realize that I was an elf.

 And yet, I am glad that they were happy to see me, and if they were in trouble, I might be able to help them, and so on.
 Really, I was surprised at myself.

...... or maybe that's what it means to be a king's blood.

 It's troubling because you don't feel bad about ...... which means that you're bound by blood and not by your own will.

 It's a very good idea to be able to have a good time with them.
 At best, the impression they get from their compatriots will be better, and that's about it.
 Your will is still your own ...... but that's why you're in trouble.

 The reason for this is that the hesitation is definitely yours.

...... Really, I don't know what to do about it.

 When you're lost, you might actually be certain.
 If you are not willing to do it, there is no need to get lost.
 At that point, you are willing to do it.

 But still, the reason for hesitation is that Noel knows himself well.
 He told me that I could live the same life as before, but I knew I wouldn't be able to accept it.
 If I was going to be king, I was sure I would end up here with them, knowing that there was nothing I could do.

 That's not a bad story.
 They feel good about me, and they also respect me.
 I don't worry about living here because I feel it's not on the surface, but from the bottom of my heart.

 And the reason why you think such a thing is because ...... after all, you are not satisfied with your current life.
 Because now Noel has no goal, he is just coasting along without any goals.

 The reason why he is aiming for the top as a blacksmith is because he does not know what else he can do.
 I don't think I've mastered the art of hitting a sword beyond the Holy Sword yet, but ...... Noel's goal was ultimately to defeat the monster with the sword he struck.
 I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's going on in the world.

 It's not that life with Allen and the others was boring.
 It was fun enough, or else Noel would have gone on a trip already.
 The fact that you have been with them for six months is proof that their life was a pleasant one ...... but it was never fulfilling.

 It's like a hole in your chest, no matter what you are doing, you suddenly feel a sense of emptiness along with joy.
 You feel like you're going somewhere, but you're not really going anywhere.

 Or maybe it's because you're with them.
 At first glance, Allen's goal seems to be to live a peaceful life, which seems like a joke, but you can see that there is a firm intention there.
 It was easy to see that there must be a reason and therefore a reason for it.

 Leeds also does what needs to be done, as evidenced by the purpose of coming to the empire, although he seems to be doing it freely at first glance.
 Rather, that freedom seemed to Noel's eyes as if it was because he had a firm idea of what he needed to do.
 I'm not sure if it's for me or for someone else, but at least it's something I don't have .......

 You will be able to find a lot more than just a few of them.
 It's hard to understand because she's quiet, and I still don't know what she's thinking, but after spending six months with her, I know some things about her.
 In the beginning, you were a little desperate or unmotivated, but not so much these days.
 I think I've found a solid self and a purpose to work towards.

 I was the only one who had nothing.
 I still haven't found anything, and I've been standing in the same place all alone.
 It's not that he said anything about it, but it's not that he said anything about it.

"If I can be of any use to you, is ...... too self-deprecating?

 Knowing that there would be no reply ...... no, that's why you talk to yourself like that.
 I couldn't let anyone hear these words.

 So, I didn't have to talk to anyone about it.
 I'm sure people would think about it seriously and worry about it if I told them, but in the end, this is my problem.

 I couldn't rely on anyone.

Well, to begin with, there is no need to make a decision right away: ......

 But it was my own thing, of all things.
 I knew that if I didn't decide here and there, I would be unable to decide.

 Nevertheless--

"Well, ...... I wonder what to do about it.

 Eventually you end up back there.

 I'm not satisfied with the present.
 I think I might be willing to help the elves.

 But that's as far as it goes.
 Not something definitive.

 Even if I'm not satisfied, I still like my life with Allen and his friends a lot.
 I feel sorry for myself sometimes, but I was too lazy to throw them away.

 But you can't leave the elves alone, either: ......
 You will be able to find out what you can do to help, or at least something to say no to, if this is the case.

"What a troublesome character you have.



 There's a lot of indecision.
 I thought I had a more daring personality, but I'm not so sure.

 Or perhaps the dissatisfaction with yourself that has been building up has finally exploded at this point.

Well, whatever it is, I'll have to make a decision soon.

 Deciding tonight is going to be a bit tough though.
 It will take some time for the sleepiness to come back because of the strange lucidity of my eyes, and I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep well tomorrow.

Speaking of ...... lack of sleep, I wonder what those two are doing today.

 I'm sure you'll be able to find out more about this in the future.
 I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's going on in the world, and I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's going on in the world, and I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's going on in the world.
 Something is going on or something is going on.

 But even after thinking that far, Noel threw that thought away.
 I'm already in trouble, so how can I cause more trouble?

 Pretending that the fog that was rising in her chest was just a reflection of her imagination, Noel continued to think about her unanswered questions.