309 306. Heart.txt




 The 'chanting' takes place.
 Smoothly as if singing, calmly as if praying.
 Above all, it sounds clear as an offering.

"'The darkness that decays, the light that decays, is equally white and unwhite' --

 It is a part of the life that Nosfi has to offer.
 At this time, she had an innocent soul that felt neither light nor darkness. That lake like soul without any impurities is now stagnating.

''The darkness of the dream and the light of the dream will be equally black and inky--''

 The color that is applied to her soul, the one that steals the reason for light, is white.
 The dark white, like dry paint, dyes her colorless soul. She is attacked by the light of light, and her mind shimmers and shines and is rewritten like a magician of light.

 First, the 'price' is paid, and a vast amount of light-attribute magic power overflows from her entire body. The magic power stolen from that world is not used up, it has nowhere to go and fills the room.

 The more that light intensifies, the more clearly you can see the darkness.
 Now, even if Nosfi doesn't speak the name of his magic, he's trying to 'take the place' of Aikawa Uzumi's mental wounds with the miracle of 'The One Who Steals the Reason'.
 Naturally, the darkness of Tida, the one who steals the logic of the darkness, was also mixed in with it.
 I can see the blackness of that darkness.

 A stain other than white began to stand out in Nosfi's white-painted heart. The stains became black lines, creating a pattern of cracks in his mind. It looks like a heart on the verge of cracking and shattering.

 Carrying the wounds of another person's spirit - that would be a fear that an ordinary person would want to scream in disgust and scratch their throat in discomfort.
 But at this moment, Nosfi was laughing. He formed a very pleasantly deep smile and felt pleasure in his depravity.

 Finally, he got it.
 The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction was stronger than the discomfort.
 Her birth as a "Magic Stone Human (Jewelcrus)" did not give her any humanity. Nosfi had no desire for anything, she didn't even protect her own life, she was just a machine that kept on doing the good things she was told to do.
 Now she has finally obtained a standard for empathizing with others.
 The standard is the standard, even if it is an excess of 'honesty' as a person.

 The sense of alienation fades away.
 He laughs at the joy of being one of the people.

 Then Nosfi hears.

 Through the power of The One Who Steals the Reason of Light, my eyes, which have been empty for so long, have been lit up. And now, from my lips, which have been groaning and moaning all the time, I finally--

This is ......?

 The words were uttered with solid reason.

''--Well, Uzurinami-sama! Now, make your voice heard at ......! Do you understand? This is the moment!

 Nosfi interrupted his magic and walked up to him in excitement.

'Now, at this moment ......? We're in the ocean ...... or is this the night sky? The light is far and near: ......

 I am supposed to be in the room and I say the words 'sea' and 'night sky'.
 I can't recognize the floor, the walls, or the ceiling. I may have regained consciousness, but my vision is still unclear in the midst of strong hallucinations.

 Nevertheless, Nosfi almost spills tears of joy.
 The symptoms, which had shown no signs of healing, had been alleviated. Impressed by the fact that he had taken a step forward, he took a physical step closer and introduced himself in the long-awaited manner.

'Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzumi: ......! I'm Northfield - 'Northfield Hoosiers'!

 Hearing his voice, I turn my eyes to Nosfi.

'Eh ....... Oh, oh, ......? You took care of me while you were unconscious: ......? I'm Aikawa Uzumiami ....... Nice to meet you, Mr. Northfield. No, you? ...... Let's see, Northland is an unusual name. No, I think it's a cool name.

 It was a completely unstrained reception, even though he was in a strange place, facing a strange person.
 It's a reaction that may or may not have been able to recognize Nosfi's appearance. But he was properly greeted for the first time. Just in time.

'Is that a funny name ......? That's the name I got from the apostles, so, er, ......
'Oh, another Sith guy. He's a nice guy with a good root, but he's a bit of a dick: ....... You should complain to him. It's good for him.
I'm not complaining about that ....... I'm happy enough with Northfield ....... It's a nice enough name .......

 Nosfi had noticed that I was acting strangely. The fact that I'm normal at the mention of the name of my grudge enemy, the Sith, is the best proof of that.

 But Nosfi puts the issue on the back burner.
 This lack of tension in our interactions was something Nosfi had wanted for years. He can communicate with me, and smile cheerfully at me. That alone makes me feel happier than ever.
 Just like that .......

But that's just the way it is, ....... I think you should at least give it a nickname.
'What, is it nicknamed ......? Mine?
'Yeah. How about a simple nosephee for now: ...... I think this sounds like a proper person's name. It looks good on you.
Nosfies: ......!!!!

 A person-like name for now.
 It was light - it was probably meant to be a really light suggestion.

 But not for Nosfy.

'I'm happy, I'm happy ....... I'm very happy ......! It's the first time I've ever been called by a nickname before: ......!

 Nosfi had never been called a person, let alone a nickname.
 It's as if she's been called by a place name and a number until now.
 The people had interpreted it favorably as being a heavenly person, but all along, Nosfi had wanted a name for herself as a person.

 Now, he finally gets it.
 Nosfi is convinced.
 After all, this man in front of him is the one he wants to be - the one he wants to be.

'I see. You're just like me someday, aren't you ....... I'm no one at school either ......

 I, on the other hand, sympathized with her words and started talking about the former world, which I didn't expect.
 She must have remembered that when she was a child, she was called "that famous Aikawa's son" instead of the name "Kanami", just like Nosfi. He's gradually turning blue, impatient, and muttering as he recalls more and more events at school in a chain reaction.

'...... is, school? Yes, ....... I have to go to school, I have to go ......!  And I'm on duty today! I'm with that girl and I decided to go before anyone else today. ......!
What? Are you Gacko? ......?

 Suddenly I look around and walk around, muttering, "Where's my bag ......?".
 Of course, there is no such thing in this room.
 There is no such thing as a school yet in this other world.

'Thanks for waking me up, Nosfi,' I was about to be late again. It really helped.
'No, that's fine, but ....... Uzumi-sama, what is Gacko--
'Oh, yes. Let's go to school quickly ....... If we don't get out before our dads get home, we'll be pissed off again ....... I'll be disillusioned again. No, that's an absolute no-no. Absolutely .......

 I interrupt Nosfi's words, reach out to the empty space and begin to wobble and prepare myself for school.

'Ka, Uzurinami-sama: ......'

 The scene is both bizarre and bizarre.
 Seeing me trying to head to a school that doesn't exist as if I were being driven away by something, Nosfi feels the need for further mental recovery.

 There is no doubt that I'm heading towards a good feeling with the power of the 'One who steals the reason for the light' I mentioned earlier.
 I, who had only seen Tiara for a long time, finally called her by the name of Nosfi. But it's not complete either. A single chant wasn't enough to heal the wound that was carved so deeply and intricately.

 Hence naturally, Nosfy thinks.
 More.
 More.
 More and more 'chanting' of light...

'The darkness that decays and the light that decays are equally white and unwhite'--!

 There was no hesitation.
 Nosfi accepted and claimed with a smile as his mind twisted.

 Nosfi had the feeling that the more he spun the words, the closer he got to me in front of him. In fact, this act is much like the 'connection' of the mind. During this 'chanting', we are connected to each other in one way, but without a doubt, like a family. Just like a family. So it's not a painful experience--.

 But what flows in from that connection is not normal.
 They hurt Nosfi's mind at a terrible rate.

 And first of all, the brightness of his vision dropped (...).
 The fear of death, which he had felt before, swelled rapidly, and then he fell into the illusion of blindness in a room with no change in brightness again.

 Knowing it's just a hallucination, Nosfi continues to 'chant' without fear.
 He receives my state of mind one after another.

"'The darkness of my dreams and the light of my dreams will be equally black and inky--!

 Nosfi felt his breathing grow shallow.

 When he suddenly turned his gaze to his own chest, the distance (...) made him nauseous.
 His chest, which should have been just a few inches below him, was as far away as the ends of the earth. The sense of distance, rather than space, was twisted and misaligned. The senses of centimeters and kilometers have been swapped.

 Suddenly, he moved his gaze again.
 The back of his own hand was in the corner of the room, as if it were not his own.
 As I move my gaze to escape, I see the furniture in the room next. Chairs, desks, beds, shelves, and everything else that could be found were inches in front of him, and he almost screamed.

 Nosfi shakes on her legs, dizzy on her feet.
 He knows it's a hallucination, but he's drunk on over-inflated anxiety and feels like he's floating.
 The gravity is scattered in all directions, making her restless and unable to stand well.

 Suddenly, gravity turns directly upward and the contents of my stomach rises upward.
 Immediately, I go down on my hands and knees and spit out the contents of my stomach as they pass down my throat.

 Beyond my mind, my body is beginning to suffer.
 It's not safe to continue further. Just when there is that slightest hesitation--

"--Yes, that's right ....... It's not even school right now: ....... I'm, I'm ......--

 Nosfi's hearing captures my words.
 That's all it took for her to become a big smile in her hallucination, not even wiping the gastric juice from her mouth.
 Then, while laughing, she thinks, "I'm sorry.

 Now Uzumi-sama is recovering.
 This power of mine is useful.
 I can live for my family as I had hoped.
 At last, I feel worth living for now.
 The chanting won't stop.
 It can't be stopped--!

-- "'The darkness of decay and the light of decay will be equally unwhite and white.' The darkness of the dream and the light of the dream will be equally black and inky."--

 What followed was the auditory hallucinations.

 This was also a natural consequence, since Nosfi would be carrying all of my hallucinations and auditory hallucinations 'instead'.

 What echoes in my head is the sound of clawing at the glass.
 An unpleasant sound that was physiologically disgusting and squeaking in the very back of my brain. It sounds as if my hardened mind is being chipped away.

 The sound shakes my brain and my hands tremble.
 At that moment, I felt as if all ten of my nails were about to fall off.
 But that's not all. I felt as if all of my skin was going to melt away at any moment.
 I suspect that my body, which had maintained the same shape until yesterday, will not be able to keep its shape today - an ominous sound similar to that of a boiling mud bog has been reverberating in my ears since a moment ago.

 But even in the midst of that steadily mentally destabilizing sound, the lovely voice arrives properly.

''-- Ah, ah, yes! I fight and fight and kill and kill! After that ......! After that ......--

 Nosfi heard me recovering nicely, coming back to myself and digging up my own memories.

 So, smile. So, I can't stop.
 In her head, on the verge of collapse, all she can think about is me--

 I have to be a 'replacement' at least until I can talk to you properly.
 All of the pain you are experiencing now, Uzumi-sama has felt until now. As a family, we have to share that pain. The most important thing is that Uzuma-sama was not afraid to talk in the midst of this terrible suffering. Uzumi-sama was smiling and chattering away, not realizing that she was in the abyss herself. I definitely need to save her. You can't save Uzunami-sama for the rest of your life if you, as a family member, don't save her. You can't be saved--!

 Even in this situation, Nosfi was more worried about the suffering of others than his own.
 And he continued to 'chant' over and over again with a single mind. Repeatedly and repeatedly.

"'- 'Both the decaying darkness and the decaying light, equally inky white, both the darkness of dreams and the light of dreams, equally inky black.' In White," "In White," "The Darkness of Dreams and the Light of Dreams," "In Equally Unglorious Black," "The Decaying Darkness of Dreams and the Decaying Light of Dreams," "In Equally Unglorious White, --

 The contamination I held in my arms is being passed on to Nosfi.
 -- Thus, on this day, their paths overlap.
 It is a common history that the two of us can 'relate' to, and it is also the birth of a causal relationship that will last for a thousand years to come.

 At the end of the succession ritual, the two exclamations of the two of them are the wooden spirit in the room.

'The light of the --' 'Equally Immaculate Kuhni ...... Kuch, ugh! I'm-- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ------!!!!
'Oh, oh, no, I'm not!  ------!!!!

 The exclamations that emanated from very similar vocal cords overlapped nicely.
 The wailing lasted less than a minute in time, but it felt like a whole day to Nosfi.

 Then they collapsed side by side on the carpet of the room.

 After vomiting up the contents of his stomach, Nosfi tried to wake up his body, which was full of nothing but the feeling of exertion.
 Wobbling, he somehow manages to get up and turn his gaze forward.
 There was me, also wobbling and breathing.

 -- or, more accurately, I was the only person in the world that existed.

 In Nosfi's vision, only Aikawa Uzumi has luminous intensity, and the rest of the world is wrapped in the fabric of darkness (the veil) and its existence is diluted.

 Nosfi's confusion was thin against that strange world. It was because he had heard beforehand that this sense of narrowing of vision was the 'price' of the 'chanting' of 'The One Who Steals the Reason of Dimension'. And I had guessed that the dark cloth (veil) was the mental interference of Tida and the Sith.

 We knew that.
 That this was a 'substitute'.

 It was strangely clear in my head.
 Of course, I still have hallucinations and auditory hallucinations, but I can see the world so well that it doesn't bother me.
 The world was very clear because I could only see one thing.

 It didn't matter what was useless anymore.
 The thought in Nosfi's mind now was simplified to the extreme.

 It was the thought that I love you.
 And the thought that I love you and I want you to love me because I love you.

 Please tell me that I can stay here .......
 Please, I want you to hold your face between your hands and worry strongly about me. ......
 Please be wished alive and reach out to me .......

 That is now, from this moment on, Nosfi's wish.

 And as I was being wished for, I was checking my surroundings while regulating my screaming and disorganized breathing. I'm desperate for myself alone.

'Hah, hah, hah!

 By this time, I should have already come to my full sanity. Having shared my mental debts, I am free from a lot of abnormalities.

 Thanks to this, I now finally know exactly what I am in.

 To me at this point, this is a strange room.
 When I wake up, I feel an extraordinary sense of physical exertion and an extraordinary sense of memory loss.
 In front of me is a girl I met for the first time.
 That girl is clearly - strong.
 I feel the same power as the avengers, the 'one who steals reason'.
 It is impossible not to be alarmed.

''What in the world is this ......? Who are you ......?
'Oh, finally ....... Uzumi-sama, I am me ....... I am your nosphy. ......

 Nosfi replied in a friendly manner.
 Her words exuded a madness that wasn't there not long ago.

 I recognized the girl's name in front of me as Nosphy. But I guess I didn't understand the meaning of the other words. I stayed alert and backed away.
 In contrast, Nosfi continues to introduce herself in a straightforward manner with an unguarded smile.

''-- I am your wife, daughter and family.
What? ...... wife and? No, eh ......?

 There was no way I could understand.
 I don't remember what it was like for me at this time when Nosphy nursed me back to health. I do have the feeling that I was dreaming in the deep darkness, but it would be 'a dream of marrying Tiara and living happily in the bright Hoosier's Land'.

 Hence, for me, I suddenly flew into this room after I was defeated by the Apostle Sith.

 It's understandable that I'm confused - and evasive.
 After all, what can only be described as madness is leaking out of Nosphy, who has declared himself a family member.

 And Nosfi herself is oblivious to it.
 Now she only had the feeling that she was finally being honest.
 All she could think about was the hardships and misfortunes she'd had to date. And about the rewards that were worth it.

 To put it simply--.

 I want to live with Uzumi-sama forever from now on.
 I'm a little tired of myself. Yes, I'm tired of a lot of things.
 So, I want to forget about all the unnecessary things, pretend that I'm not unhappy, and just be alone with my family.
 The family I finally got.
 A family where there is no mistaking the double confirmation that Uzuraha-sama is a father and husband.
 Here's what I've been chasing for a long time.
 The person I've longed for, loved, and wanted is now right in front of me.
 I want to spend eternity in peace with him.
 That's all I want.
 I want to be loved like that mother and child in that hospital.
 I want to nurture that love. Forever, if possible.
 Forever alone with me.
 It's the only way I can feel safe in the darkness anymore.
 The Nosfi way of life. The only way left to live.

 --that's the idea in my head.

 Naturally, the expression on his face and the look in his eyes are frightening, and the magical power that leaks out is evil, and I, the one who is facing him, get ready to fight with fear.

"Wait, wait. ......! Don't get any closer to me than that: ....... I don't know what you mean by wife or daughter: ....... Anyway, stay away from me. If you take one more step, I'll shoot my magic ......!

 I was completely frightened.
 I was frightened from the bottom of my heart against a girl who was smaller than me and younger than me.

 Noticing the expression on her face, Nosfi quickly suppressed her own magic and responded in a ladylike manner.

''Oh, I'm sorry ....... I know that we have just awakened each other now, but I rushed the conversation a bit too quickly. No wonder you are confused .......
Oh, oh ....... Now I'm just waking up and what is it ....... I mean, are you just waking up there too, ......?
''Yes (...). So let's quickly tell you all about my relationship with Uzumi-sama again. Let's sort it out again. This time, let's be gentle, slow, and definitely, let's understand the two of you together ....... Fufu--

 At this moment, Nosfi was certain.
 He believed that if only he could explain, they would be forever more than this.
 Because to Nosphy, I was 'the only one who was meant to be'.
 Hence, there is no other end to it. In this dark world where there is no real sense of anything, the only response is 'Aikawa Uzumi'. Even from the other side, in this dark world of lost everything, the only meaning of life is "Nosfies". The only meaning of life in this dark world where everything is lost, is the family that loves each other. Then the two of them have no choice but to live together.

 That's what happened to Nosfi.
 The 'price' of light made me unusually honest, and in my 'place' the world was closed to darkness, and I could only see 'the one person who was destined to be the only one', and so it was.

 -- my face, which had been confirming the origins of that nosphy with 'past vision', becomes distorted.

 I felt my heart being pecked at as I saw the truth about Nosfi and myself. However, the magic of the past vision is unwavering.
 Not yet. You can't solve it here.
 Rather, this is where the real work begins.
 This is the beginning of my mistake.

 I'm going to have to watch the rest of the story: ...... how I am going to verbally abuse this nosphy and hurt its heart irreparably.
 Never, ever look away .......