It still comes to mind when I close my eyes.
a dark night
His face was so painful that words couldn't describe, and his father wielded his sword again and again.
He always swung a sword in the rain and in the snow. Even when the grip bursts into blood and the lips crack to the point of swelling.
In her memory, the father was always wielding a sword.
Young Yoo-Esul didn't know what was driving him so hard.
From the time he remembered, he was just wielding a sword all the time to time. When he opened his eyes, he wielded a sword, swung it until the sun sets, and then when he was about to collapse, he held onto the burnt-out scaffold and sobbed.
Sometimes agonizing, sometimes angry, and sometimes howling like a beast.
- I'm going back.
He said, holding on to young Yoo-Esul.
If I could make a perfect plum blossom at any time, I'd take your hand and go back to Wasan. And I will ask for forgiveness from the elders of the envoy.
- I will smoke plum blossoms.
Yoo-Esul opened his eyes still.
"My father wanted to go back to Hwasan."
"I think I needed a justification for that. Because my father turned his back on the dead gate. You can't go back empty-handed and beg for forgiveness."
"……then I'll be in the class……."
Yoo-Esul nodded still.
"My father was going to restore it. If you restore that salary and return the plum to Hwasan, you'll forgive yourself for running away."
At that, Baek Cheon groaned unconsciously.
Restoration is only meaningful when you can guess the original form. Tracking its original form based on more than half of the lost wages is no different from finding a single grain of sand in the desert.
Chung-Myung sighed slightly and looked at Yoo-Esul.
She looked down at the books quietly.
Those dozens of books were the result of my father's research and research on the 24th-purchase method. And all those purifications were collected in the last book.
"It's been debilitating day by day. Sticking to the impossible eats away at people."
Besides, it wasn't just the body that became weak.
Before he ran out of breath, his father was almost a madman. He wielded a sword with his arms dried up like a branch in winter, and read it like crazy with his hollow eyes like a corpse. I've written down a lot of new things and I've repeatedly reestablished them all.
Her father could never reach Hawasan's sword.
A day of distant snow.
Her father, who was wielding a sword frantically in the blizzard, vomited blood on the floor over and over again. And he tore apart the class he had been establishing.
- I can't reach it. I am! I am...… I can't reach…….
The scene of a father sobbing desperately is engraved in Yoo-Esul's memory like a painter.
- Lee Seol-ah….
As he was dying, he held Yoo-Esul's hand and said.
- You have to smoke the plum blossoms. No, you should never stick to plum blossoms! No, it's not. You... No! You can't. You shouldn't be like me.
Words that young Yoo-Esul couldn't understand.
- Will the envoy forgive me...Do you understand me for leaving them behind?….I'd like to see Hawasan's plum blossoms……. plum blossoms…….That was my father's will.
Yoo-Esul spent a few days in the cabin with his body. He matched the torn books one by one beside his father, who did not eat, drank, or cooled down.
Meanwhile, someone found the cabin. It was Hyun Jong who came running after receiving the last communication from his father who felt the end.
He sobbed on the spot when he found Yoo-Esul almost dying.
- You stupid man...…! What do you want? What do you want?
Hyun Jong sobbed for a long time holding on to her young girl. The warmth felt in his hands still lingered on her back.
Yoo-Esul said in an insensitive voice.
"My father was a fool."
"I abandoned him, but I couldn't. When he ran out, he wanted something else, but his father was more obsessed with him than anyone else. So I regretted and suffered all my life."
Her eyes were fixed on the blazing bonfire.
It was still hard to understand my father.
If you valued him so much, why did you abandon him? You should have forgotten if you threw it away, why couldn't you let go. And if I missed you so much, why couldn't I go back to you to love my head?
It was still hard for her to understand.
Dang-Soso, who opened his mouth, shut up again as if he couldn't speak.
What should I say?
At least at this moment, I couldn't find anything to say to Yoo-Esul. It was because I understood how much would be contained in that calm voice.
At that time, Jo-Gol, who was listening silently, opened his mouth.
His gaze was directed at a pile of rainbows.
"Why didn't the writer recover that salary? Even though it's less than half the class, it's still twenty-fourths...…."
"I can't use that."
Chung-Myung said in a husky voice.
"If they took it to Hwasan for no reason, they would have set it up for restoration. Then Hwasan would be really screwed. Everyone must have suffered from the impossible."
Poor hope is sometimes more brutal than painful despair.
There was no one in Hawsan at the time to restore the 24th parallel based on that. No, this would have been impossible for anyone in the world.
Even if Chung-Myung had restored the low grade without knowing the twenty-fourth-purchase method, Chung-Myung's sword technique, which is completely different from the original one, would have been born and would not have reached the original form.
"What a stupid thing to do...….'
Chung-Myung bit his lips slightly.
It is endlessly stupid, endlessly foolish.
I'm sure you were that desperate.'
I wouldn't have thought of going back to Hawsan and dying with him. Somehow he would have wanted to find the key to resurrect Hwasan.
Even if it's a vain obsession.
"That's why the accident...…."
Yoo-Esul shook his head.
"I don't stand up for my father. My father abandoned Hwasan. It is unforgivable for me, a disciple of Hwasan."
"The writer says he forgives, but it's not something he can be forgiven for. He who abandoned the temple is forgiven by what means. So……."
She closed her eyes in an unusual long speech.
"I don't know what to say.…."
A heavy silence fell.
Knowing that clumsy consolation could be rather cheap sympathy, they were all silent just looking at each other.
Then Chung-Myung blurted out.
"Well, let's go to bed."
The eyes of the disciples turned to him.
"I think I've said everything, and it's not much of a story. In conclusion, I stopped by my father's grave on my way by. Isn't that what it'sir?""Chung-Myung아!"
Baek Cheon sprang up from his seat with an angry face.
However, Yoo-Esul nodded with a nonchalant face.
So Baek Cheon was briefly speechless. Yoo-Esul said calmly.
"I just wanted to stop by. Anyway, I thought you'd be happy to know that Hwasan is getting his old self back."
But Chung-Myung stood up with a sour face.
"A dead man is a dead man."
"I thought you were going to say something great. I'm going to bed. If you're going to leave tomorrow morning, go to bed early. You'll have to run faster as much as you wasted the day."
He strode into the cabin without looking back. The rest of Hwasan's disciples looked at him from behind with uncomfortable faces.
"The death penalty."
"We sleep, too."
"…Yes, let's do that."
Baek Cheon nodded quietly.
I don't think I'm going to fall asleep, but it wouldn't be very good for Yoo-Esul to keep bringing this up, as Chung-Myung said.
"…Thank you for telling me."
"No, it's not."
Her gaze again turned to the dark night sky.
"Because it's not someone else."
Yoo-Esul suddenly opened his eyes.
And I looked around with a puzzled face. Inside the cabin, I could see the students of Hwasan, who were sleeping all over the place.
I didn't remember sleeping.
I remember all of us coming into the cabin and lying down...….
Was he really tired?'
It looked like that. In fact, everyone seemed to be asleep.
Then I heard a voice right next to me.
Looking back, Dang-Soso was muttering something with his eyes closed.
He seemed to be talking in his sleep.
Yoo-Esul, who looked at the side of the bed, closed his eyes again. However, he soon felt a small sense of incompatibility and lifted himself up.
I don't see Chung-Myung among those who are sleeping in their cabin.
Yoo-Esul stood still from his seat.
And carefully walked out of the cabin. There was little sign of Chung-Myung near the campfire.
Yoo-Esul, who was looking around, slightly hardened his face. Then he began to move busily as if possessed.
A strong shipper was sprayed on the tomb.
The tomb, where the grass grew, began to get wet.
Soon after the bottle was emptied, Chung-Myung took out a new bottle and opened the lid. Then it was sprinkled back into the grave.
Chung-Myung, who had been spraying alcohol for a long time, soon took the bottle to his mouth.
Chung-Myung, who quickly passed the bar without delay, stole his mouth with a loud, loud sound. And murmured bitterly in a low voice.
"You're such a fool."
He couldn't understand this guy.
He wouldn't have abandoned Hwasan, but if he had abandoned the failing gatekeeper, he should at least live well. Furthermore, it is untenable for a man with a young daughter to throw his life away from the impossible.
It's stupid, pathetic, and stupid.
"But I usually like idiots."
Chung-Myung's face, which was smiling quietly, gradually changed. Sitting in front of the tomb, he sighed for a long time after drinking. At the end of the sigh, the sincerity came out.
This is Chung-Myung's sin.
What sin would those who left the crumbling gatehouse be? Who in the world can hold on to the crumbling door and demand that they die together?Those who remain are great, and those who do not remain are not wrong.
"Why did you do that? You stupid...…."
If you threw it away, forget it.
Why did I regret it even though I threw it away foolishly?
You're a fool.
Chung-Myung leaned against the mound and looked up at the stars in the sky.
"In fact, I wanted to go to the North Sea."
From the moment I heard the word "magyo," my blood started to rise upside down.
If it weren't for Hyun Jong, he would have grabbed Bop Jeong by the collar and screamed where he was. I didn't want to leave anything in the world related to masochism.
When I close my eyes, I still remember the death penalty at the top of 100,000 mountains.
"But I can't go. Still……."
If he is harmed, the remaining Hwasan will fall again as in the past. If Chung-Myung loses his focus, Hwasan can't handle the check of Goofilebang and Oh Dae-sega.
Hwasan will fall again, and Yoo-Esul's father-like people will reappear.
So I couldn't go.
Because I can't repeat the same mistake.
Even if you die of heartburn and tear, you can't see it again. If the moment comes when Hwasan falls again, he will never close his eyes.
"I wouldn't be entitled to ask you for forgiveness, but...…."
Chung-Myung's fingertips stroked the wet mound.
"…Now take a rest. Plum blossoms will bloom again in Hwasan."
Then he turned his head violently, biting the bottle. The strong shipper's scratch on the neck felt especially sad today.
Putting down the bottle like throwing it, he stumbled and rose from his seat.
"You said you wanted to see the plum blossoms, didn't you?"
The sound of the sword being pulled rang in the still mountains.
"If you want to see it, you should see it. You've been wanting to see it for so long, so I'll show you. Yeah."
Chung-Myung, who was reeling as if drunk, lowered the sword.
Then I closed my eyes slowly.
I think I can see it.
The image of a person wielding a sword and wielding it in this deserted mountain.
The image of someone who is obsessed with only one sword, suffering from lingering regret and the inevitable reality.
Chung-Myung's sword began to move slowly.
Soon after the opening of the plum shop, the inspection of the plum shop will take place.
A perfect round plum print without any technique.
Whasan's plum blossoms, which Yoo-Esul's father had been trying to smoke all his life, were now revealing themselves at the end of Chung-Myung's sword.
This is Hwasan's plum blossoms you've been missing so much.
I lost once.
Having to spend so many years trying to bloom again.
Hwasan's plum blossoms, painted by complete plum screening, began to turn the barren land into a forest of red plum blossoms.
Where Whasan's plum blossoms bloom, that's Hwasan.
So this place is just Hwasan, too.
In the forest of plum blossoms, a swordsman dances.
Like cutting out the lingering feelings that I couldn't send yet. The end of the beautifully moving sword was determined but sad.
Yoo-Esul, who was looking at the plum blossoming like a fantasy from afar, closed his eyes still.
Her downward eyelashes trembled. Then a drop of tears flowed down.
Did you find your plum blossoms?
Yoo-Esul opened his eyes.
There was a forest of plum blossoms that was like a fantasy.
The day will come when the perfect plum blossoms bloom at the end of her sword.Then her dead father could finally rest in peace.
Yeah, one day.