83-<> Blood relationship...

It was an extremely cold day, chilling to the core.
The sky was so full of gray clouds that you could not tell which way the wind was blowing. There was almost no wind, but every time I walked, the cold air enveloped my face from the front and made me shiver. My cheeks and the tip of my nose tightened up, especially the tip of my nose was losing its sensation.
I am heading home, carrying a heavy plastic package of radishes, carrots, and other vegetables in my hands. My mother, who is a dilettante, had forgotten to buy the essential vegetables for oden for dinner, so I had to go to the store myself. I gladly accepted her offer and walked out the door with a smile on my face, but as time went by, my face became stiff. It's so cold. My eyelashes are freezing. I walk faster to get back home, but the wind is stronger and the coldness increases. It's so cold!

I unconsciously quicken my pace when I can see my house in sight. I finally arrive at home with my face tucked into my scarf, braving the cold wind.

It's 'Tadaimaaa......'.

Even the front door felt warm and I naturally smiled. I let out a little bit of a dirty sound, and it soon escaped my lips. If I did it in the classroom, I would be too embarrassed to go back to school.
When I looked down to take off my shoes, I saw an unfamiliar pair of shoes. They were ordinary sneakers, but they were a size too big and probably wouldn't fit me or my mother. They didn't look like they were for women. The only thing I could think of was a customer of my mother's or a comet. I don't know any of her relatives, and I don't think they've been here before.
It crossed my mind that my mother might have brought her remarried lover in secret. There was no indication that my mother was in a relationship, but it was a possibility. My mother would be anxious about being a single woman, and she would be attracted to someone if he was good. If she is happy, I want to support her.
But to be honest, I really wish she wouldn't do that. I can't accept the idea of living under one roof with an adult man I don't know. It fills me with disgust and I don't know what he would do to me. I don't trust him, even if he claims to be faithful.
I heard a man's low voice coming from the living room. It was not a comet.
I tiptoed closer to the light leaking into the hallway and peeked in fearfully.

Suddenly I had a headache.

A dull headache that hit me like a thumb pressing down on me. The pain was not enough to make me dizzy, but enough to cloud my expression.
The pain came when I saw a man sitting on the floor across from my mother. The moment I saw him, I felt hairy and unfocused, regardless of my consciousness.
I reflexively grabbed the sliding door to support my shattered center of gravity. The sound alerted my mother and the man to my presence.

'Alina ......? That's Alina, isn't it!''

I fell on my ass. It was as if I had been boned. I push the floor with both hands as hard as I can, dragging my buttocks as I run away from the approaching man. My back and chest are quickly moistened with cold sweat.
I was just scared.
I was so scared of the man in front of me that I felt as if I would faint at the touch of even one finger.

Stop it!

I heard my mother's angry voice, which I had never heard before. The man and I looked at my mother, stunned. My mother was standing there with her beautiful face reddening and her fists clenched.
The man came to himself and apologized to me. He said, 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,' and he was so desperate. But my body reacted to his every action with a twitch, and I didn't have time to pay attention to his apology.
The man's expression at my reaction was mixed, looking both happy and despairing.

'You came back to repeat the same thing again ......!
'No! Really not! I haven't seen Alina in a long time. ......'
'Look what it is! You've got something on you! This girl has amnesia! Whose fault is it that you think it is!''
'What, ......?'
'You wouldn't know! He's a fool to lay a hand on my daughter! Alina doesn't remember you. So don't come back!
' is ......? Alina, don't you recognize me?

I am sure I know this person, even though I have no fragmented memory of her. I had a hunch that he was someone I was deeply involved with, whether or not he was important to me.
An inseparable blood relation. Maybe he is my father.

Don't talk to my daughter! Get out of my house as soon as possible!''
'Calm down and listen to me ...... I regret it too ......'
'I don't care about your regrets! Your regret won't heal Alina's wounds at all, nor will it make our past go away! Have you forgotten your promise to never come near us again!

My mother's excitement was only getting more heated. I could barely stand up, but I didn't dare go into the living room, so I could only lean my weight against the wall and watch from the sidelines.

I haven't forgotten! But I'm really reformed. I was crazy. ...... I want to go back in time and do it all over again. I've always regretted hurting my daughter. I don't know why I did that,...... Alina,...... but I can't ask you to forgive me. I'm going to devote myself to you from now on.
'If you want to make amends, the best way to do so is not to appear before us.
'Wait. I'm serious.

As if to cut off my father's words, my mother gave him a hard slap. The sound inspired a phantom trauma.

My father pushed me.
The smell of alcohol stung my nostrils.
He grabbed me by the jaw and cursed me.
The drool on my cheek.
My father's face blackened by the backlight of the fluorescent lamp.
The world distorted by the tears that seeped out.
The neck that stretches.

My airway left open .
My father's bloodshot eyeballs.
My hair, scraped and nearly falling out.

A mess of black curves, air pushed back from my lungs, my consciousness plunging into darkness.

I awoke from sleep.
I had no memory of sleep or the process of falling asleep. My sense of time was vague, and I did not know if it was evening or morning. I was a little annoyed at the sun shining on us half-heartedly.
I was in my pajamas, and my mouth tasted faintly of minty toothpaste. The time on my phone read 6:30 on New Year's Eve.
I was convinced that my personality had been replaced.

On my desk was the notebook. It was a 'must-read' sign from the other me.
I opened the latest page and found beautiful Mincho style letters. I fell on my bed and began to read, relying on the faint sunlight that shone through.
After the change of personalities, the other one offered in a polite tone, 'Please leave. It is written that my father was surprised that he was asked to leave with such perfect strangerliness.
I changed my appearance and came close to touch him again as if I could not believe it, and my mother threatened him in a hushed and murderous voice, saying, 'If you touch my daughter, I will call the police. My father, perhaps thinking it was a bad idea, then broke his back, apologized, and left the house.
After that, he told my mother that he was undergoing a personality change, and they talked about various things. The rest of the story was not important. It didn't matter what kind of underwear he used or how much he ate at night.

I knew that my father had been arrested for abusing me. And now my mother told me that he is currently on probation. The fact that he could contact us at any time was disheartening. I don't want the horror of yesterday to come again without warning.
I thought I was going to be able to welcome the New Year in a good mood after having dinner with everyone, but now I am going to suffer from anxiety from which there is no escape during the New Year's holidays. What will happen now?
The only people I can talk to besides my mother are Tsuru and Comet. But I hesitate to open their contact information because it is too heavy and I will probably not call them or send them a message. Besides, it would be very annoying.

In the living room, my mother was watching TV in a daze.

Good morning.

I greeted her and she jumped at me.

'--Alina! Are you okay!
'Eh, um, yeah. It's me. It's okay. Calm down.

My mother hugged me and repeated in my ear that she was sorry. Her voice was weak, in tune with the trembling of her body. I hugged her back and felt her warmth.

I washed my face while my mother prepared breakfast. My face reflected in the mirror and I was a beautiful girl as usual. I am not proud of it, but I have only known this face for a few years, so sometimes I feel as if I am borrowing someone else's face. I am aware that this is not a normal feeling. I am aware that this is not a normal feeling, but my mentality is abnormal to begin with, so I suppose it's just a cute thing to feel this way.
After putting breakfast on the table, we start eating together. We watch the TV in silence for a while, and as we are bringing the food to our mouths, my mother puts down her chopsticks.

Alina. If you say so...'...
'Hey, man.
'If you come to my house again, I'll call the police. If Alina comes over when you're not home, call the police right away. Do not open the door.
'...... Shall we move in soon?'
'What, you're going to go that far?
'Of course. Of course. ......'
'...... is within commuting distance from the high school, right?'
'So ......'

My mother seemed to take it much more seriously than I thought she would.
From her point of view, it may be quite natural for her to be nervous. If I were in the same situation as my mother and had to protect her only daughter, I would do everything in my power to protect her. A mother is such a strong existence.

Also, you should try to go home with someone.
'By the way, I wonder if there are children who go home with Alina.'
'Yes. Ummm. ......'

He looked worried, but it was an act. It was obvious that my mother would become even more emotionally unstable if I answered immediately that she was not there, so I decided to stall for time and cover it up.

What about Comet? You're dating, aren't you?''
'Huh! I didn't!''
'Hmm. I'm sorry, I know. Comet told me.

I'm sick of talking about it because I've heard unnecessary rumors about him because I went to school with him. I can't tell you how many times he's questioned me. He was fed up with it, but it was a good feeling.
Unfortunately, the only person I could count on was Comet. Despite his personality, he is a hundred and eighty-two feet tall and looks scary when he gets angry, so he would be a good choice for a bodyguard. His unintelligible jokes are also perfect for confusing people.
Tomorrow is the first visit to the shrine by the cranes, and I feel sorry for them if I don't cheer up. I think she is a very nice and unusual girl, because she is willing to get involved even with me like this. I wish she would stop making fun of me by bringing up comets sometimes. When she invited me to Hatsumode, I said, 'I'll call you comets too! I'll call you comets, too! And he calls out. I have to be extra careful.
May next year be peaceful.