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Somehow Cather Liz looks like she can't afford it.
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I wonder how ...... can we break the spell of enchantment. Can it be broken only by strong belief and will?
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It is impossible for the students who believe in her to realize it on their own. It is difficult to question the values we believe in.
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"How far would you go to be satisfied?"
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When I said this, her expression changed. There was no calm at all.
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"I'm just ......."
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Cather Liz chokes on her words.
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"Just what?"
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"I,...... just love Duke."
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She muttered weakly with the loneliest expression I have ever seen on her face.
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The look on Cather Liz's face left me speechless. It was the look of a woman who is truly in love.
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"I know Duke likes you, Alicia. I didn't stop him from deporting her because I didn't want her to be around him any longer. He still has her heart, though."
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Oh, yeah. Cather Liz is just in love.
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She's fighting desperately against her jealousy. She's been in love with a lot of people, but she's always had her heart set on Duke.
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In her eyes, Duke must be the only one who has a special sparkle in his eyes. She loves Duke blindly just like Liz followers love Liz blindly.
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So, it is possible that somewhere in her heart, the saintly woman hates Alicia, and this is reflected in her magic. Well, that's just my imagination. .......
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"I know I'm dirty. Even though I think I want Duke to be happy, I know somewhere in me I want him to be happy with me. Why not me? I think about Duke much more than Alicia does. ....... I know that no matter how much I think about you, you will never reward me. But I've been trying so hard to tell myself that hard work always pays off. Otherwise you won't make it. Because it's not easy to lose the feeling of love, is it?"
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She looks at me with tears in her big eyes as if asking for help.
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For the first time, I feel like I'm hearing Cather Liz's true feelings. The person she most wanted to be was Alicia.
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I couldn't say anything. All I could do was listen to Cather Liz.
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"Curtis once told me that I was no match for Alicia. That I couldn't go over. But that's so frustrating. This is a battle of feminine pride. So now that Alicia's been deported, why can't I have a little turn? Because she's going to come back here again."
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"Do you wish you had met her before Alicia?"
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I know it's a dumb question, but it's all I can ask right now.
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Cather Liz shakes her head.
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"Duke's in love with her anyway. I can't help but envy Alicia because of ....... Being liked by Duke is the ultimate luxury."
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She smiles wistfully.
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I don't know what a girl's heart is. But I still understand a little how Cather Liz is feeling right now.
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I have wondered, too, if I had been the same age as Alicia and had met her before Duke, if we would not be in the relationship we are now.
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I know how heart-wrenching it is to wish her well. ...... Well, I'm over it now.
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Still, Cather Liz has always had feelings for Duke. No matter how much she knows there is no pulse.
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She is desperate to leave her mark on Duke.
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............ though it's a hell of a nuisance to us.
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