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"Jill! Hey, Jill! Stay with me!"
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Henri's loud voice rings in my ears. I feel faint. I feel as if I have lead hanging from my body.
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When did I fall asleep?
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Slowly I open my eyes. Henri's face comes into view, looking at me with concern. I see Duke right behind him.
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Henri is holding me in his arms, and I manage to pull myself up.
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"Jill! Are you okay? ...... For now, take these pills."
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Saying this, Henri holds a cup filled with a light blue liquid close to my mouth. He is panicked and I want to tell him that I'm okay, but even my voice doesn't come out as well as I would like.
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I follow Henri's lead and put my mouth to the cup. I swallow the tasteless medicine.
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"It won't work right away, but after a while you'll feel a little better.
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At the same time that Duke said this, I realize that I have caused them trouble.
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"...... sorry."
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"What?"
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Henri gives me a curious look.
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"I was trying to learn not to bother you, but I ended up bothering Henri and the others."
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"You idiot! What are you talking about?
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Suddenly Henri's yell makes me freeze. He continues.
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"You're just a kid. You're still a child. Rely on us a little more! Why do you hold on so tight? Come to me before you get yourself into trouble!"
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"But I'm useless. But I'm useless. I'm useful so I could leave that village. ....... I'm no match for them."
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My feeble voice echoes through the library. After a short pause, Duke speaks up to me.
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"Jill is the most thoughtful person I know. She's smart and she knows what's going on around her, she can read the air. It's okay to be selfish. It's great to see her struggle in this world and put aside her sadness at Alicia's absence. I've told you many times, Jill, I'm counting on you. I will always need you, even when Liz's magic is broken. But whenever the weight of this gets to be too much for you, just let it out. Let your feelings out. We won't ever be disappointed in you for it."
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Duke is unusually talkative. I could tell he was very concerned about me.
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They give me the words I've been looking for. Just saying those words lightens my heart and saves me so much.
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Knowing that my grandpa's death was near, losing my value in the school, and being so impatient with fear and loneliness, I was about to crumble.
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Alicia, the place you have given me is so warm.
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"Thank you."
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That's all I could say. It was the only thing that came out of my desperate search for words.
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I am sure they will never understand how I feel without magic. Still, as long as there are people here who need me, I can move forward.
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