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"Time will tell."
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That's what I really meant.
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It is true that I may have done something to cause anxiety among our people. But both Duke and I are ready to take responsibility if people in the poor village do something wrong.
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And then there is Nate and Rebecca. We will never hurt innocent people. That's the only thing I know better than anyone else. Because we've been hurt by innocent people.
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They understand that pain better than anyone.
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"......Well, that's true, too."
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With that, I accept a paper bag containing three plants from Paul. The smell was a bit pungent.
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This pungent smell ......,Tolkien's.
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"Are you that sick?"
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Paul asked me, seemingly disinterested. The question came out of nowhere.
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I thought he didn't want to talk to me anymore. .......
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I thought about him and replied in a weak voice, "Well, I guess.
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I had always hated to believe it, but the reality was that even if I could develop a drug, it would only slow down the progression of the disease. It's hard to cure spotty disease when it has progressed so far.
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Paul opened his mouth, perhaps trying to comfort me in my sudden lack of confidence.
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"I hope you will be able to get well."
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His voice was calm and gentle.
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"Thank you. ...... for the money."
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"I don't want it. I don't want to take money from poor people."
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As thorny as it sounds, Paul knows I have money now. I am in the care of the Williams family, one of the five great aristocrats.
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Paul likes money. That is why he is also an informant.
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...... I'm sure it's for his good intentions.
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I look at the paper bag I'm holding.
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"I owe you."
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You don't have to return it. Just go."
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I thanked him again and left.
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I get in the carriage and hurry home. While I was in the carriage, I was restless because I wanted to start my research immediately.
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For some reason, I feel that the carriage is moving slower than usual.
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There is no point in being in a hurry now. I tell myself that and look out of the window absentmindedly.
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I see a beautifully blooming flower garden. The flowers looked golden in the sun. The flowers swayed softly in unison in the gentle breeze.
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"Alicia, they are beautiful.
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After I said that, I suddenly realized.
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It has been a while since she left, but I still think of Alicia next to me. Sometimes I feel lonely at a moment's notice.
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I never knew my parents. But it was Hicchan and Alicia who gave me the same warmth as my family. Without them, I may never recover.
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Maybe I should be more mature now that I'm twelve years old. But I can't lie to my heart. I try to act tough, but somewhere inside of me, I will always be lonely.
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I never receive a letter from Alicia. I know she is still alive, but I never hear from her, and that makes my heart ache with anxiety.
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I wish there was a device that would allow me to contact anyone anywhere in the world. ....... I wish for such an impossible and ridiculous thing.
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I look at the flower the color of Alicia's eyes and mutter to myself, no one will ever hear me.
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"Hey Alicia, what kind of view are you looking at right now?"
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