61 - Mother, I remember.



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"---- I don't want him to die. You need to take care of this as soon as possible."

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 I hear a voice.

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 I am lying on my bed. My body is weak. Why am I, the mother of Alice, my godchild, in this situation? This is just like the old days, isn't it?

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 Alice had brought me blessings, and she was originally an angelic child. It was because of Alice that I was able to live in perfect health. But how could this happen ----?

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 I thought back to the past as I looked at my husband, who was standing beside the bed, looking at me with concern.

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 Until my grandfather's generation, my family had been aristocratic. That was something my mother always used to say. She used to say that even though we now live in the countryside, we must never forget our noble spirit as aristocrats and our respect for our ancestors. My mother said it over and over again, so much so that I could recite the story of my ancestors myself. My mother's most favorite ancestor was a beautiful being with beautiful golden hair and clear blue eyes. So that being was special to me as well.

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 After my mother passed away, I met and married my husband. At that time, I had a physical breakdown. I was not strong to begin with. That winter was colder than usual. It was the year that people said that the coldest weather had come once in a decade. So it was only natural that I, who was physically weak, should fall ill.

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 I was prepared to die at that time. I thought I was going to die, and the doctor who managed to see me said that tonight would be the end of my days. The doctors were amazed, calling it a miracle. A short time later, I found out that I was carrying a baby in my belly.

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 I had the feeling that the life in my belly had saved my life. I had such a feeling that the child in my belly had connected me to life, and I loved the life in my belly. This did not change even after I learned that the children in my belly were twins.

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 Oh, there are two lives in my belly. Two of my children would be born. What a blessing. My husband and I waited and waited, looking forward to seeing which one of them would look like which one. No matter what kind of children I have, I will love them as much as I can. I would be on their side, no matter who their enemies might be.

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 That is certainly what I was thinking at the time.

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 But when I saw the first child born, I was drawn to him. He looked nothing like me or my husband. But I somehow felt that this was the kind of ancestor that my mother loved and had told me about many times.

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 Having twins was a big deal, and I was told I might die, but I wasn't worried. Once I was told I might die, but my children saved me. I was sure that I would be fine this time, too.

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 I was sure that my heart was drawn to Alice, my twin sister, but I was also trying to love Lelunda, my younger sister. But as she grew older, I began to think that "Alice" was special. Alice did not look like me or my husband, but she was a very, very beautiful child.

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 Some of the villagers were reluctant to say that Alice was not our child. But Alice was certainly my child, and I felt that I had to protect her. I was so obsessed with this that I kept telling them that Alice was special, that she was my child, even though she did not look like us because of her ancestry.

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 I kept saying it, protecting Alice, and in doing so, I sometimes left Lelunda alone. But Lelunda was a child who could be left alone. I was desperate to protect Alice rather than Lernda, who was a villager like us and could be found anywhere. As a result, Alice was accepted by the villagers and they began to love her and everyone else.

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 Around that time, there were rumors that Lelunda, the other daughter, was a funny girl. She was not beautiful, even though she was Alice's twin sister. She was too ordinary to be a twin with a special being. At first, I was angry with her for saying such a thing to my daughter. But Lelunda was really a funny girl.

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 One day, a child tried to mess with Lelunda. But, strangely enough, Lelunda didn't get the message. In fact, the child who tried to mess with her got into more trouble than the child who tried to mess with her. She knew she shouldn't have felt this way about her own daughter, but it still seemed eerie and alien.

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 She was growing up a little faster than Alice, who was special, and that bothered me too. My husband and I found ourselves leaving Lelunda alone for a day, and when we rushed over to check on her, she was still hanging around, even though she was supposed to be a child who couldn't do anything on her own. A spooky child, a funny child. In contrast to Alice, Lelunda became creepy. I thought she was creepy, but I thought it was because she was my daughter.

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 But my husband, who must have felt the same way, said.

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She's crazy. Alice is such a pretty girl. She's not even cute.

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 I thought that my husband, who was so kind to me, had no choice but to say such a thing, and in addition, I felt that Lelunda was creepy deep inside me. One of the reasons was that Alice, my beloved child who held my life together, was a special child, and she would get in a bad mood if we left Lelunda alone.

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 Alice had a special look about her, and I was convinced at the time that Alice was the child who had saved me.

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 As Alice grew older, she manifested that specialness. Everyone gave Alice things because she was special and because it was Alice's house. Besides, since Alice was born, the village had a good harvest, and someone suggested that this was also because of the existence of Alice. A special child who gives happiness. I had come to believe that from the bottom of my heart.

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 In contrast, Lelunda was creepy, but I was hesitant to throw her away because she was still a child. So I let her stay. I gave her food and clothes from time to time. I didn't want the creepy child to have anything to do with Alice, who is a sacred being, so I didn't let her have much to do with him. Lelunda grew up to be a child who did not talk much. Her few words, shaggy hair, and nonchalant demeanor irritated my husband and me. If she had cried out more, she would have been more endearing, I thought.

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 One day, a while after the twins turned seven, a priest came to our house. He told us that there must be a godchild in the house. When my husband and I heard this, we thought it was Alice, even though we had two children. It couldn't be Alice. And we discarded Lelunda as not being needed as the twin sister of Alice, the special being of the God Child.

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 Then, my husband and I were taken in by the temple and lived a life befitting parents of a divine child.

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 During those days, there were times when I felt something strange in my body. But I thought it was just my imagination. I thought that since I was the mother of Kamiko-sama, nothing bad could happen to me.

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 When I talked to my husband about it, he said.

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He said something like, "Haha, maybe our angel conceived a little brother or sister for us."

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 I thought that might be the case. I thought that might be the case too.

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 I thought that Alice might have conceived a being different from Lelunda, who was suitable as a sister or brother of the Divine Child-sama.

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 But it was not so.

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 I fell ill.

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 All I could think was, "Why? I am the mother of a divine child, and I truly care for Alice, the divine child. Even Alice should have blessed us as parents. So why did I go to ----?

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I guess that thing must be true after all."

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'...... from the looks of it, I suppose it must be.

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 I hear the voices of those serving in the Great Temple.

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 ----- mother, I recall.

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 (Perhaps the mother of the godchild girl and her sister is ill. She does not understand why. She just laments how and why, under the mistaken impression that it was because of her sister that she was in good health.)

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