208-Disagreement between mind and body





 After the battle with Noir, Ars and Loki ran to the outside world.
 Although they were spotted by a mage on the way, there weren't many who could catch up with their speed. More than anything else, knowing the mage named Ars, it was hesitant to follow him with a small number of people.

 Since going out to the outside world, Loki has already witnessed more than ten sighs while looking at Ars's back.

 Along the way, he didn't dare to kill the demons he encountered and left them alone. It may be because of the possibility of getting a leg up later on, but I can't help but think that even that would be too much trouble for the current Ars.

 He went out from Alpha to the outside world, and it was hard for Loki to call out to him just because he had a general idea of what he was thinking and what was bothering him right now, as he usually expected him to cross some border and disrupt it.

'Huh~'

 Then I heard another sigh, and I summoned up the courage to speak up, not wanting to miss this opportunity. Maybe it's the fact that I'm slightly uptight, or maybe it's because I'm being careful in my choice of vocabulary.

'Do you mind, Al? Is this about Mr. Fear?

 One word vacant, perhaps because he was conscious of the mannerisms that followed and endured.

 Loki even felt disgusted with her for denying Ars. Still, she was the one who had continued to train under him so far. Even Loki wouldn't have to be Loki to feel that Ars himself was taking Tesfia and Alice under his wing.

 Ars's battle is a far cry from the one against demons. Although Loki was surprised to see that, it was the path he had walked. He had been prepared for that, so he still managed to stomp on it.
 No, that wouldn't be right either.

 Because at that time, Loki was in more pain than his heart was torn apart at the sight of the expressionless Ars.
 It wasn't bizarre or lecherous. If that was the case, he wouldn't be expressionless. You keep your consciousness by closing your mind, and you don't let the pure thought of battle make you accept any other impurities.

 It's as if he's shutting himself into a shell, a painful way to do administrative work. That's how Loki felt.

''Well it's not just the Tesfia, those guys want to stick their necks out, one day.... If you don't know, it's a good thing you don't know.

 Sometimes it's better not to know. But Tesfia and Alice would definitely not be good at not knowing.

 At least that's what Loki thought when he saw Tesfia at the Fevers' house.
 Of course, whether they could accept it or get over it was a different matter.

 Maybe that's why the word of mouth he passed on to Froese would be useful. Because as a result, it would help Tesfia and Alice to take a step forward.

 There was no point in worrying about these things.

 Ars was concerned about the uncomfortable feeling that still lingered in the corner of his head. I'm sure it's not right to describe it as a strange feeling because it was originally there if you want to elaborate.
 However, there is no doubt that it is an emotion that has long since been forgotten.

'Since Al has made it this far, the rest will be up to the girls.

 I knew right away that it was out of concern. So, Ars inwardly told him it was okay.

 --It's okay, it's okay.

 I'm not discouraged by my inability to change or change anything, I'm not disappointed. I just didn't feel like I could go back to that dazzling place.
 It's the only thing that makes the clouds shade my heart. The idea of a monster that thinks nothing of killing humans and living among them was just ridiculous. It was just a game.

 Flying wide to a foothold on a thick branch, but far away to the branch beyond. He couldn't grab anything as he refused to do so. And then Ars jumped into the bushes.

'Argh!

 Shouting in the air, Loki landed on a waiting branch and landed as if he was being played directly down at a right angle.
 Immediately, he ran to the fall site, using his detection to find Ars.

 There was enough grass for one person to hide in. Eerie green leaves that seem to have stored moisture even in this season.
 I have the knowledge that the plant is not poisonous, but the native grasses should be able to absorb the impact of the various species. But there are also thorns mixed in with them.

 As I scrabbled dreamily through them, I found Als scowling as he was embraced by a natural hammock.

'Are you alright, Al?'
Yeah, no problem.
What's the matter with you?

 Unusually for Loki, his tone was laced with anger. It was angry, but his face was worried and melancholy.
 And that was as it should be. Such as Ars failing to make a rudimentary landing........
 If he had used AWR or used magic, he would have been able to land well enough. Was he so preoccupied that he couldn't even do that?

 If you look at it, you can see shallow scars on his arms, neck and even his face.

 It is understandable that Loki is angry, Ars said honestly, "I'm sorry," he apologized. He was aware that he himself was harboring an oddity like regret after the battle with Noir.
 However, he still hadn't been able to come up with an answer to that.

'Look, please stand up,'

 He takes the proffered hand and raises his upper body.
 Loki's hand was relatively clean and emitted a warm body temperature. It even felt comfortable in terms of humanity.
 But on the other hand, Ars's hand is cold.

 It feels like something is different. It wasn't a superficial difference in body temperature, but rather the heart that he had within.
 Loki would still be able to return. He couldn't help but feel hesitant to involve her in the blackening of Ars. Even if she didn't want that........

'Al?' His angry face changed and he stared at me curiously.
 Even after standing up, Ars was still holding Loki's hand in a cherished way.

''I'm sorry...''

 Ars let go of his hand as quickly as he could, but Loki quickly followed suit and grabbed him again.

'It's okay. Why don't we hold hands and leave if we can?
I don't mind, but it's a little hard to run.
Let's walk home once in a while. There are no demons up here. It's a good thing I've cleaned up the area around the secret base.

 There was no way they could make a home in the outside world, so they spent their time in the cave. Loki, who calls it his secret base, seemed to be dreaming a somewhat ephemeral dream.
 Still, she didn't feel like she was mending her face as she broke it.

 Looking at the connected hands, Ars didn't want to feel any more body heat if he could, but he didn't think he could.
 He was a little afraid that the warmth of the ride would feel comfortable.

 Despite Ars's feelings, Loki felt that by letting go of this hand now, he would create another distance between them. It was a longing for him to share what was bothering him, and not just his alone.
 His hinky hands were hard.

 Surely this is the kind of support Loki can provide. It must be a way to stay close to him.
 I want to know what's in his heart, if only a little.

 If he's in pain, I want him to share it.
 I can't do anything, but I can at least listen to you.

 That's why Loki is not in a hurry. Even if he won't tell me if I don't ask him anything, it feels like his connected hands are now conveying a little bit of anguish along with Ars's body heat.

 They walk away in silence.
 The distance between their shoulders seems to communicate without speaking to each other.