491-Open your eyes







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 He was being made to walk in the dark all the time. It didn't matter what he wanted to do, he kept moving.
 The thin, cold sensation that enveloped my whole body gradually made me lose all sense. There was no sensation in his fingertips, only a vague awareness surfacing. There was no feeling of cold, nor was there any awareness of the silence of silence.
 Therefore, my expectation is that it is "probably" cold here, which is nothing more than a vague prediction.

 Wandering endlessly in the pitch darkness, I was somehow convinced that it must be cold and lonely here.

 There was no fear, no happiness.
 There is no fear, no happiness, only a vague daydream-like haze of doubt. Why am I here, why am I here, why am I walking?

 And who am I looking for? The only purpose I can find in this aimless walk.
 Suddenly, I realized that there is a big hole in my chest. It's as if I forgot to turn off the faucet, and I can see something trickling down in a plop. It's as if it's removing something unwanted from inside my body.
 At the same time, the haze in my head felt like it was getting thicker and thicker.

 If I didn't block it out, a small electrical signal popped and my intuition stirred up a sense of frustration.
 Still, my arms and legs wouldn't say anything, and I kept moving to find something. Surely this impatience would disappear when it was empty?

 It would be nothing short of a blessing. Because the excess will flow down and surely the only thing left will be the pleasant sensation of being in this tub.

 But if only I could plug this hole....
 If only it would stop the contents of me from spilling out........

 I felt I had to do everything in my power to get rid of such a kind-hearted, meddling being. My discomfort rises at those who prevent me from having a pleasant time. I just don't know why I have to hate them so much.


 So I wonder. While I feel like I want to stay in this bliss forever, what am I constantly searching for?
 I wonder what will happen to me when I find it, and instead of a gaping hole in my heart, I feel as if it will be filled with something else.

 It's as if I'm being scooped up and scooped up by a handful of words that I've crammed into my brain. I could only think slowly. The next thing you can't think about is something superfluous. Everything that should be necessary didn't matter.

 At the same time that my thoughts were being devoured, there was a comforting feeling there that made me want to surrender. I didn't realize how natural it was to not think about it.

 When I lost all sensation in my body, I was admonished that it was normal.
 There was nothing to fear anymore. I didn't need to be scared or have the energy to take action.
 My body wanted to take the next step.
 It will eat your heart.
 Eating my heart.

 No. It doesn't eat you, it just assimilates you. It's being drained of its contents and something fills the vessel instead.
 This is.........

 Oh, this is a scary thing. It's a terrible, terrible thing to accept that I'm changing.
 I'm sure these feelings that remain in my heart will fade away.
 A faint feeling of embarrassment that cannot be put into words. It's not my only thing, but it's also my one and only self. It is not love, or any other fine thing like "love".

 It's the feeling of being in love with someone else that everyone has.
 A blind trust that refused to be completely assimilated. My own secret treasure chest. I felt like I had to keep the embarrassing feelings hidden there forever.

 So hold them in your chest so that no one can take them away from you.
 This is the one thing that can't be invaded.

 If I keep resisting in that way...one day...one day...he will.
 The last thing she felt was the feeling of him scooping up her body, and Felinella's consciousness sank into a sea of relief.




 Ponderous equipment surrounded the bed.
 The number of tubes strapped to her arms is such that even a seriously injured person could think there are many. I was reminded that it was a luxury to seek the sunshine and the breeze that came through the window when I woke up from sleep.

 With the respirator on, Felinella slowly opened her eye lids. Though she was asleep, she moved her eyes to see where she was now. It didn't take her long to realize at a glance that she was in a hospital room. It was also to treat the seriously injured, which I could tell from the way the equipment was running.

 There are two recessed windows. There was only an exhaust fan in the corner of the ceiling.

 Felinella looked at the ceiling a few times in that state for a while. I know what happened to me.
 I was defeated by a demon. And I was taken in - not eaten.

 No fear. It was something I was prepared for.
 Still, I noticed my fingertips trembling slightly.

(Right. Well....)

 I pulled my mouth into a tight knot and held back the sobs that escaped. It's not that I'm afraid of being defeated, it's not that I've accepted it either. There was nothing I could do about it on my own.
 I'm just afraid that the demon has entered me and almost taken me. My emotions, my thoughts, my memories, everything. It was as if it was trying to replace me.

 After a moment of fear, Ferrinella realized that she was alive.
 Her fingers moved, her legs moved.... There was no pain anywhere.

 Most importantly, the tubes connected to her arms told her that she was alive. From outside the hospital room, I could see signs of people.

 A single tear wet my dry cheek and fell onto my pillow.

 Taking off her oxygen mask, Felinella raised her upper body.
 The patient's garment was thin and simple, and seemed to be worn directly over her naked body. She seemed to be wearing underwear at least, but she didn't know the pattern of it. As a sick person, she doesn't have to worry about dressing up, and she's not qualified to be extravagant, but for some reason it makes her feel like she's wearing someone else's underwear.

 Anyway, it's not like she's been sleeping for months, as she doesn't seem to have lost any muscle mass.

 Suddenly, her gaze went between her breasts to fall on the uneasy feeling that came over her.
 She lifted her tubular arm and slowly touched it, but there was nothing there. Slightly sweaty skin and the feel of my sternum.

(What time is it?) (And how is it that no one is there?)

 I didn't see anything that looked like a nurse call.

 All the data from the equipment here was monitored in a separate room.
 Felinella was in an agonized state of mind, wondering whether she should go call someone or rest.

 But while she was doing so, the door to her hospital room would be opened in a hurry without a knock.

'Feri!
Wait, what? You.

 The woman's taut voice was followed by a rather half-hearted male voice.
 The first thing that caught my eye was Illumina, who had changed into a different outfit from her mineral deposit duties. She changed her blood color, and instead of running like a child, she chose to walk fast in the space between the two, without the calmness of an adult.

'Illumina, are you alright? Are you hurt? And everyone else.

 This was Felinella's first words.
 By the bed, Illumina made a fist in front of the sick man who was worried about others. Illumina knew this was the place to yell, but the two of them had enough company not to let it happen.
 It was a tug of war of worry, regardless of the extent of the injury.