212-211◇ If you have more fear than you die
The truth is, I knew right away.
I knew that Remeghton had come alive.
On the contrary, I realized that he had been like a doll until that moment, when he came to me.
But I pretended not to notice. Afraid of waking up from the dream.
I asked him. Is there anything scarier than to die, I asked him.
But I wasn't looking for an answer.
I continue before he can open his mouth.
'I didn't have one. You know the story about me and Arthur. I thought I knew the fear of death and that there was nothing to fear anymore. But now that I'm older, I'm haunted by one fear.
-- 'You and I will come first. Never again will there be only one of us. Together.
You know, after what happened, we had our first big fight. Of course we did. I was trying to save my friend, and my friend was trying to save himself, and we each gave up our own lives.
We were angry at each other, telling each other to put ourselves aside and never do that again.
Me and Arthur survived and became adventurers. We vowed to come first together.
Arthur is the same old Arthur. Righteous, noble, forward-thinking.
-- 'You two are the Miracle Men? 'Hmmm ... tell me a story.'
Merlin seemed to think at first that if he was with us, he could find a way to contact the spirits without going through the 'Spirit Shrine'. But as we worked together, I found that he became attached to his friends in his own way as well.
But he hasn't given up on his childhood dream for a long time. I'm genuinely looking forward to the day when I can meet the spirits again.
--'Oh? Adventurer? You're an idiot, I'm a monster.
It was while traveling in search of a mate that he found Mordo.
He was being persecuted in his village. He was human (normal), but could reproduce more than a dozen racial traits at the same time. He had the muscle power of a werewolf, the wings of a bird-man, the scales of a dragon-man, the agility of a cat sub-human, and the leg strength of a rabbit sub-human.
It would also change its appearance, but Mordo, who was still young, couldn't control it well.
The villagers were afraid of him changing his appearance at a moment's notice.
What did I say at the time?
--'You're not crazy, you're special. Come with us, let us prove to you that you're great.'
Mordo eventually became one of us.
Once he made up his mind, he was straightforward.
-- 'I'm one of you? ....you shouldn't do that, you're just wasting each other's time.
Gallach was the owner of a rare 【Guardian】 in the world. The previous party, who had taken notice of his rarity, however, could only recognize his ability as a [Holy Knight] with low offensive power and kicked him out of the party.
This had hurt Galach. He didn't think he would be an easy companion.
So we decided to fight.
Even the four of us attacked, and Galaha was able to defend against --'
--He said, 'I need you to protect us from every threat. 'I want you to protect us from all threats,' he said, 'and we'll keep on winning and showing the world how strong your shield is.
Galaha looked surprised, then smiled ticklishly.
Since then, he's been trying to make good on his promise.
They're all great guys, unlike me.
They believe. They believe that they will come first.
And I know they will. And I know that they are as good as first place.
They believe. That I'm the best and bravest person worthy of the top spot.
I've lost track. If I'm worthy of the first place how come I've always been second?
So I couldn't show any weakness except to my most trusted friends.
I couldn't talk to them about my pain.
'Leme, living your dream isn't always easy. That's okay. It's your own choice. Isn't it?
...yeah.
'But that's okay because the only thing at stake is your life. If I fail, I can put up with it because I'm the only one who gets laughed at. But we adventurers are operating as a party.
Yes.
You all followed me.
We've shared the dream of being number one together for a long time now.
They've done such a great job that I couldn't ask for more.
So why can't we just stay in first place - forever?
'The one thing I, I, I can't stand is for my people to laugh at me. No matter what you do, people will always make fun of you. You know what I mean? That's because I'm second. If it's an uphill battle, good. If it's competitive, fine. But it's not good enough to be an unbroken second place.
I know what you mean, more admiration and respect.
The adventurer industry is tough. If you're unpopular to begin with, you can't stay in second place for long.
I understand why people call it an extravagant affair.
But even Reme, even the fourth place party members are ridiculed for being a [Black Mage].
Even if it was the second place, or even if they had the best members, there was still a mountain of mindless criticism.
It has been ten years since we became the second place.
For ten years, we have been challenging the insurmountable wall.
We've been taking a knife to our hearts with the denial.
'Arthur, Merlin, Mordo, and Gallach are the best adventurers I've ever known. I can't help but think, you know. What if I wasn't the leader who was following them. Because isn't it? If every one of my friends is the best and deserves to be ranked first, then the reason I can't be ranked first with such a member is because of [the brave man].
Miss Ex....
'What I'm afraid of, Leme. I'm afraid that my friends' lives will end in failure because they've partnered with me. I'm afraid that the friends who chose me might end up making a mistake. That time might come one day, and I'm unbearably afraid of it...
That's why this dream is probably the one where I'm still in first place as the leader.
It's the kind of world where I didn't let my precious friends' lives fail.
I've never been able to tell anyone about my fears.
Not only to the first-ranked aerialists, but also to the third-ranked adventurers who were following in their footsteps.
Of course, I couldn't tell my fans either. They're cheering us on. There are people who have always wanted us to be number one.
The kind-hearted junior contorted his expression bitterly at the pathetic words of the senior.
He turned his head, clenched his fists, shook his shoulders, and then exhaled.
How much did it bother him?
He looked up with a pained expression on his face, looked up at me and said.
''Still (,,,,,,), we have to do it (,,,,,,). Isn't that right?''
--Oh, I knew he was going to do it.
You're strong. ...and I'm weak.
His very life is a shout out to those who try so hard.
Everyone laughs at how impossible it is. You can't do it. They scoff at your lack of talent, your lack of aptitude, your lack of aptitude.
How much encouragement can those who have such dreams be given to him?
He professed that he would become a hero even after waking up as a [Black Mage], and even though even his friends treated him as a hindrance, he ran up to the fourth place. He was not treated favorably by the public, and the comments on the video were criticized.
He was even accused of being a parasite on his best friend, yet he kept trying to win over his friends.
Even he was kicked out of the party.
I was sincerely disappointed when I heard that he had left the Fenix Party, but I was very happy to find out that he continued to be an adventurer in the tag team tournament.
No matter what anyone tells me, no matter how high the walls are, no matter how high they are blocking my path, I won't give up. I will not rot. I will not give in.
I will keep going in a straight line, forever and ever.
And this boy is not like me.
It's not the same.
...what?
You are strong.
I already know that he is the real Reme.
He must have consumed his wish for a spirit to bring me back.
So those words were only meant to cheer me up, too.
Or so I thought.
But there was no cloud in his eyes. On the contrary, they were burning. Hot, hot, like a flame.
He looked up at me with a strong gaze.
''If your heart is so weak, Ex-san, how come you're an adventurer in your dreams?
I'm not sure...
'If I hadn't become an adventurer, if I hadn't met my friends, my life would be completely different.
I was shocked by those words from him.
Because it was so true.
Even if this was a world created by the spirits, they should have looked into my memories and my mind and constructed a dream world that was irresistible.
And yet.
I ended up falling off a cliff with Arthur, making a pact with the spirits, gathering the same friends, and going for first place with them.
The only difference was that I went through almost the same kind of painful life and came first place.
Why?
I could have had as many dreams as I wanted to have as long as I wanted.
No, this is my dream.
'I don't think I can fully understand Ex's fears. But I'm afraid of failure because I really tried. How can such a person's heart be weak? I don't want you to make fun of my favorite [Jet Black Brave].
"....! ..........!
I knew there was no other way to get rid of this fear than to come first place.
I thought this dream had liberated me, but the dream itself proved it.
No matter what freedom I was given I would end up being an adventurer.
I would gather the best friends I could think of and aim for first place, even if I knew I would suffer.
It's not that I've given in to this dream because I don't have to be afraid anymore.
It's because it's a dream I've achieved, a pinnacle that I couldn't give up even with the fear.
And then........there's my junior colleague who even used his 'wish-fulfillment rights' to come to my rescue.
You can't give up, but please don't pretend to stop. If you have a place to go.......there's no other choice but to keep running.
''........Huh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
When was the last time I laughed so heartily? It's been a long time since I've laughed.
I'm going to undo the Giant Armor.
I was wrong about you, Leme. You're not only kind, but you're also very strict.
Pretending to give up on people's suffering is telling.
Furthermore, it's not even close to Spartan to say that you can still run.
I don't think he's right.
But rightness doesn't save people.
It's rarely true that it's okay to keep going and not give up.
The world is full of wasted effort and the number of dreams that don't come true is far greater than the number of dreams that do.
It's hard to tell someone who is exhausted from his hard work that he can't keep going. Even he knows that.
He is a kind man, but he knows that he is going to have to be tough on me.
We may not get to the top, but we'll get there.
But that doesn't stop us from doing it, does it?
Because we want to be number one, and we promised we would be, so we have to keep running.
If I stopped, my foothold would immediately collapse and I would fall into total darkness.
"...I don't want to fall off the cliff anymore.
It reminds me of a parable I told Leme just yesterday.
You just have to keep running. You have to keep running to the destination you have set for yourself.
Even if you may not be able to reach it, you've made your own decision.
''...What would you have done if I hadn't chosen to be an adventurer?''
If that happened, Reme would not be able to appear in my life.
It's doubtful that he was given the role, and even if he could meet me in a different way, it would have been difficult to remind me of reality.
The [Best Black Mage] pouted.
And.
I knew it wasn't possible.
How easy it is to say.
You think so much in battle, but you don't have a detailed reasoning for important things.
He wants to be a brave man because he's cool.
Ex will definitely be an adventurer, so I'll appear as Remegeton.
"...Thank you, Leme.
He just smiled.
'I'll have to thank you when I get back.
Reme will refrain from doing so, but it's a matter of our feelings.
''Well I don't mind now, do I?
And then he says something like that.
But I knew right away what he meant.
'Are you sure? I need to keep my cards close to my chest until I'm in a direct fight.
''If you can experience the full power of the [Jet-Black Brave], it's not too shabby.
'All-out ... all-out, yes. In this world, we don't have to deal with the constraints of reality. We can give our best to each other and it won't affect us later. Okay, let's do it.
Once you decide to do so, you're ready.
It's called 'A handful of armies.
The spirit art of shadows, the depths of it.
The spirit art to forcibly summon all the shadows you've touched so far and manipulate them at will.
It can be used in various ways. That's what they say, to control it like an army.
But for now - let's use our fists.
A simple frontal breakthrough is the most brave manly way to go.
Once again, you'll be clad in "giant soldier armor". This time, it's on a grand scale.
I'm even bigger than Grendel and Spriggan, who fought in the original dungeon, and now I'm even bigger.
All of this is so that I can wield an even bigger arm.
''This........is something I've never seen before.
Leme says that with a belligerent laugh.
'You're the first to show it to me. It's from me, as a thank you.
They were so big that they couldn't fit on the screen. It's so big that your companions look like peas in a pea grain.
The other reason is that it destroys dungeons without a care in the world, so it costs a lot of money to repair, or it takes time and magic to deploy. The fact that it's a technique that borrows the power of spirits, so it can't be used hoi hoi, is also significant.
However, all those problems don't exist now.
Because it's a dream.
Then, thank you.
His magic power increased even more.
--That's something black, unfolding all over his body!
Obviously, that thing has the same abilities as the horns.
The ability to accumulate and sharpen magical power.
Even a demon's two horns are a threat, but if it's spinning all over his body, how much of it - how much of it?
His left horn cracked and shattered. Just as I thought, there was a black horn growing there, the same as his right horn.
The changes didn't stop there.
His wings widened. Or, more accurately, it would be easier to say that they grew larger.
His bony wings were expanding more and more, and he was no longer able to imitate a bird-man.
If there were giant bird-men, they might have wings on this scale.
That's how big they are, both wings.
Even though my gaze is near the ceiling, my eyes meet straight with his.
''........Are those horns? What are you doing in your body...
'I've been through a lot... growing up? It's like the amount is increasing to match the
He doesn't seem to know what he's doing. But he knows what he's doing.
Then, don't ask me about it.
"The jet black.........no. It's just Ex. It's just Ex.
I'll save the proper name calling for when we fight in real life one day.
He laughed and complied.
'Reme. Just Reme.
An alien and enormous amount of magic power that can be seen through the shadows.
Obviously, this is more than the amount of magic power he can naturally accumulate in his life.
A spirit contractor can borrow the magic power of spirits.
Maybe he has a special way to do that. It's a dream, and he's probably drawing it out without reservation.
Fist, swinging.
A giant's fist and a demon's fist collided head on.
A fist that could shatter like glasswork, even on a mountain.
And yet.
Our fists - while shaking the atmosphere with the impact - were antagonistic.
Even if a high-ranking demoness released the magic power of the horns at maximum output, it wouldn't be like this.
--The horn of the [Demon King], is it?
Reme is not a demon, he is not a demon. If that's the case, then it's either a special ancestor like Mordo, or else -- it's an inheritance.
I've never heard of a demon inheriting a horn from another race, but any possibility is not zero.
There are people in the world who sign up with a shadow spirit from a near-death situation.
Some fools get the best of friends and then get swallowed up by their dreams.
And then there's the young man who comes to save such a fool.
''Leme! It's an honor to meet you...!
I don't know if I can say that I'm blown away. I'm not going to change that easily.
But I've come to realize how helpless I am.
I can't give up anyway. Then there's no time to waste trembling in fear.
But that doesn't make the fear go away.
I'm going to run with it.
"Honestly...! I still think I'm weak! Because you do! If I goof off or sleep, the real four of us would lose our leader! And yet, once I gave in to the dream!
If you keep your mind strong, you will be able to come back to reality soon.
''Everyone's mind is weak at times...! He said he couldn't get up on his own! That's why I'm here to help. You have no idea how many people you've inspired with your strong heart! You have no idea how many hearts I've saved! What's a person like that to be saved once in a while...!
--........................!
"Oh, I'm...! From the moment I decided to become an adventurer, I wanted to be number one...! Beyond aerials! My guys are the best! I'm going to prove that I, the leader of that group of people, am the best of the best...! Oh, yes! You're right, I was pretending to give up!
That angered Mordo and Galach.
'To answer your question! I didn't participate in the raid fight because I was scared...! I wasn't afraid of fighting side by side with Aerial, if I thought I couldn't match him...! I'm still scared! I'm not afraid to realize my limits...!
Of course, I couldn't say that to my friends.
They sincerely believed in my strength, so I misled them.
They thought that Mordo and Galach had forfeited their participation in the raid battle due to their lack of ability, so they said they would train and went their separate ways.
They didn't convince me that it was different.
That's true. To do that, I would have to tell them the real reason.
I had to expose the fear in me. But I can't do that.
I'm not afraid to break faith with my people.
I'm too scared to do anything about it.
I don't know when I became such a coward.
When I was little, I was never afraid to take the next step.
But I'm reminded of that! If you can't beat him, I don't give a shit! You can't give up on me anyway! We just have to keep running...! If we can't beat them now, we'll win tomorrow! If you can't do it tomorrow, then do it again! I'll keep trying until I win.........
I'm afraid that my people's lives are going to fail. I'm very, very afraid. More than dead.
So you have to keep trying.
I can't let my friends believe in me, and I can't let my life fail either.
I've been so late in realizing such an obvious thing.
I must apologize to Mordo and Galach when I return.
Arthur is going to be mad at me for why I didn't talk to him about it. If I tell my best friend that he can't be weak, I'm sure he'll be even angrier.
I'm sure Merlin can see everything. After all, he's a [visionary wizard]. Still, you didn't say anything. But I have to say it.
But first, to the friend in front of me.
"Thank you, Leme...!
The end of our battle is near.
◇
What a spirit art. Definitely a 'profound' level.
For my part, I imagined my horns sucking as much magic power as I could from the dungeon core.
As expected of a master's horns, I've never felt the limit of the magic power I can accumulate.
That's why even when I sucked from the core of the Demon King's Castle - although I sucked a considerable amount - I didn't aim for the limit.
Because it seemed like I could accumulate it to any extent. In fact, there's probably a limit somewhere.
If I did that, the Demon King's Castle would stop functioning. There's no way I'd be allowed to consume all the cores that are there to run the dungeon for personal combat or anything like that. Putting the dungeons out of function to protect them in the first place is the end of the world.
It's not just for me, so it's natural.
However, there are no such restrictions when it comes to this dream.
It's only because it's a dream without limits that it's possible to deploy magic power without limits.
It's the same for Ex-san.
But this one is using Master's horns.
And yet, I can't push through.
A scream that I don't know which one it belongs to. It could be either one of them.
I will never be able to fully understand X-san's troubles.
But I can imagine how painful it would be to not be able to let your friends win.
Not being able to come in first place means that you keep losing to the Aerial Party.
In terms of rank, we're only one place different. One more and you're at the top of the industry.
I can see it, but I can't reach it.
Even though those days went on, Ex didn't blame his friends.
She tried to take it all on herself, and she began to blame herself.
You can't stay young forever. With each passing year, the rank renewal will pass.
How many years can I challenge myself for the rest of my life? Will the day come when you can be number one? Next year, he might not even be able to stay in second place.
With all of those fears, did Ex-san continue to blame himself?
Fake salvation had seeped into my weak heart.
No matter what I said, if he sincerely denied me, it would have been the end of it.
But it wasn't going to happen.
If your heart is weak, just rouse it. He is a strong mind to begin with.
I was a little pushy, but I knew that if I got myself together, I could get through the ordeal.
No, I believed in it.
"Leme...! Brave man to save the brave.... I want to win over you too........!
The world's second-ranked, admired hero is doing everything in his power to defeat me.
''No matter who my opponent is, I can't use these horns to lose...!
Me too. This guy saved my life. I can't afford to lose with the full force of this partner!
In a battle that neither side can afford to lose, one side loses.
I was starting to get pushed back.
"Now I challenge the castle with my friends...!
I fold my wings. I don't put them away. The spread out wings are placed so that they overlap right behind me.
So far, I've been releasing my magic to keep my fist from beating his.
If that doesn't work, I'll focus on one point.
It's not his whole fist, but the part that touches my fist that wins.
What happens when you do that - you sink.
....
Instead of smashing a giant's fist into a giant's fist, I drive a stake into it.
My fist sinks into the shadow's fist, my fist sinks into the shadow's fist. I move on. With the boost of the immense magical power released from the wings of my bones, my body moves forward and forward. I advance while drilling and tearing into the fist of the shadow. Cleave my elbows, upper arms, and upper body.
The upper body of the shadow giant that appeared in the tenth and final area of the tenth layer of the dream pops.
The shadow can be repaired if we have magic power, but I don't think we have that kind of spare energy.
We decided to collide with it with all our might, and we did so.
Ex-san was thrown into the air.
He had a refreshing smile on his face.
'At some point, I was afraid of losing... but haha, I was. Defeat is so painful that it rips your body apart... so I can try my best to win next time.
My eyes meet his.
His body is disintegrating, along with his shadow.
"So, Leme, I'll be real again--what a surprise!
The smile was the one we knew Ex to be, with no hint of shade.