Have you ever been unhappy in your life?　If you ask me, the only answer I can give is 'I don't know'.
　Just when did it start?　It's better to be happy and unhappy at the same time than just happy... It's better to be able to dismiss the events that have passed as unavoidable instead of wondering what if I had done this or that... .........

　I am not particularly wealthy, and I am not particularly poor. I was born into a very ordinary family and spent my childhood in a very uncommon way. I remember playing outside a lot when I was in elementary school, and I had, if not many friends, in my own way.
　If I wanted to summarize my life up to this point, one sheet of A4 paper would be enough to summarize it. The only major event that happened was the sudden death of my parents when I was 12 years old.
　It's not like a TV drama where the parents are suffering from an incurable disease or are involved in a major incident, but just one of the hundreds of thousands of traffic accidents that occur every year in Japan alone.
　A pileup on the highway on the way home from a family trip, a small family car was crushed like it was pressed between a large car and a truck. My parents were instantly killed and I miraculously survived with only minor injuries, including lacerations from my ear to my neck.
　So an unfortunate accident, miraculous survival - I guess that means I was lucky. I was lucky enough to survive, and my parents were unlucky enough to die.
　That's how people live and die in the end. Some people die young no matter how well they take care of their health, some people live long enough to smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink a lot of alcohol.

　I never thought of my parents' deaths as unreasonable or anything like that, and I never thought of myself as a tragic character. In fact, the relatives who took me in were good to me, and I was never dissatisfied with my daily life.
　However, I began to think about this every now and then. Good and bad luck is like two sides of a coin... There is no such thing as a lucky life. There is no life that is just bad luck. If you're lucky, you deserve to have as much misfortune as you get...
　There is no coin that keeps showing the other side of the coin. If I survive by luck, will I someday be able to draw the other side of the coin, the miracle?　Or was it the other side of the coin that my parents died?

　What happened when I started to think that way?　I think I escaped at first.
　I'm sure that if you can create a wide range of relationships with friends, lovers, and family, you must be a happy person. Then, once that happens, you'll have to be prepared for the same amount of unhappiness.
　When you have a goal and achieve it, the happiness must be great, and in order to do so, you must be prepared to face the same amount of misery.
　It's scary to feel just happy. It's hard to feel safe when there is no set of convenient events and bad events.
　So I ran away. I turned my attention to games and books, and basked in my temporary sense of fulfillment.

　In college, I learned to fit in with my surroundings. I learned the art of being bland, natural and distant, and being alone. I don't need a dramatic life. I was comfortable with the days being flat and unchanged, and being a supporting actor.
　So when I came to the other world, I was relieved that I wasn't a brave man and that I didn't have any special powers. I'm ordinary here too, I thought, this is fine...

　Yeah, well, I've been making up excuses for myself for a long time.















'I loved my parents. I really loved my sweet mother and my wonderful father.

　...No.

'I was so happy to go on this trip with my family. I knew there was going to be more time like this in the future.

　.........No.

'I cried out, hating God, wondering why I was the only one who survived, why he didn't let me die with my parents, who I loved so much.

　.........................no.

'I'm scared. I started thinking that if I got to know someone else, if I got to know someone, if I got to be happy, I was going to lose it again, that's all I could think about.'

　.....................no.

"I didn't want to be alone. I wanted a friend. I wanted a lover. I was so jealous of my family. But I was too scared to approach them, so I made up excuses to myself to be alone, and I kept running away.

　 No, I'm not.

'I'm afraid of losing. I'm afraid of getting what I want. But I can't give up, so I've gotten into the habit of keeping my distance. I kept that kind of obsequious distance, making sure I didn't say anything random, so that people wouldn't hate me or like me.

　No, no.

"In the end, my heart is still the same as a child that has been squatting and trembling since the accident that day... I want someone to love me, but I can't get close to them. But I can't get close to them. That's why I want you to reach out to me, I want you to pick up the heart that's broken into pieces and doesn't even know itself anymore, I want you to pick it up instead of me.

　No, no, no, no!

'I was hoping. When I found out that I was caught up in the summoning of the brave, I thought I would be special, that if I just became special, someone would save me... but in the end, even in the other world, I wasn't special, and I didn't know anyone. I'm left alone, with no friends and no friends, and even though the world has changed, I'm still unable to change myself...''

　....

'The truth is, I was scared. If they thought I was a pathetic adult, Kusunoki-san or Yuzuki-san might give up on me. If they think I'm a pain in the ass, Lilia-san and Lunamaria-san might abandon me.''

　...........................

'I'm doing my best!　I keep lying to myself, even though I'm trying so hard to look good to others!　Why, why, why!　I'm the only one who's ever had a bad thing happen to me!　I didn't ask for a boys-only house!　I never said anything about being sent to another world and wanting to go out on your first day!　The king's doting Lilia-san summoned me, even though it wasn't her choice to do so!''

　..............................

...

　.........













　Maybe it was a cry that had been in my heart all along. No one notices, and even I don't understand it well. It's a selfish desire, like a child's selfishness.
　Before I knew it, I made it in myself. A too big wall in my heart to escape. A basket to hide my weakness, a shield to protect my cowardly self........

--You see? I told you.　If you're in trouble, I can help you!

　There's no way they'll notice. There's no way they'll notice us. That's what I thought.

-- so it's good to be empty now.

　But he was already there.

--I'll show you.　Things you don't know, sights you've never seen, this world!

　He stepped into the recesses of my mind as if it were natural to say that there was no wall of my mind from the beginning.

--You are the hero's story!

　And then, as if it were natural, she reached out her hand to me, who had been squatting.

--I'm going to have to talk to you the same way I have been talking to you~!

　Sometimes he throws me around like a friend...

--I think that girls who can do that naturally are pretty cool.

　And sometimes, like a lover, he would affirm me...

--It's okay. I'm here for you.

　Sometimes she was like a mother to me, giving me the words I wanted to hear.

　She was noisy and warm, innocent and kind, as if she could tell that she knew everything about me... She would always give me the smile I wanted most.
　He embraces my contradictory thoughts and picks up my disparate minds one by one and gently pushes me back.

　Oh, yeah - that's right. Maybe I've finally figured it out. What I wanted - what I've been looking for all these years - was to be





























　My consciousness slowly awakens from a pleasant slumber. As soon as I opened my eyelids, what I saw was a pair of gentle eyes staring at me.

''........Black?''
Morning, kite.
Good morning ... how long have I been sleeping?
An hour or so?
Okay.

　Slowly, I sit up. Strangely, I felt as if I was light, as if I had taken off something heavy.

'You look kind of refreshed.
'.....Oh yeah. Well, I don't know what to say...

　I honestly didn't have an answer for what I wanted to do or how I wanted to be.
　I just had this idea in my head that I should stop squatting.

"I'll just try to do my best at things again...
Well, I'm rooting for you now. Go for it, Kite!
Yeah, thanks.

　I still don't know a lot about this world and myself, but I've changed my environment for the better. It's just the right time to start walking.
　Yes, let's start with self-discovery, or whatever you want to call it. I'm a little nervous and scared, but I think I'll be okay. I've been given the courage to start walking. Like Black said, let's start again from this place, this world.

　Once I closed myself off. The story of Miyama Kaito.