With the revelation of unexpected similarities with Kusunoki-san, the conversation was more lively than I thought it would be, and I think I was able to open up to the two of them quite well. Well, Yuzuki-san couldn't keep up with the Internet game, and was a little unfaithful, but.......
　Unexpectedly, Mr. Kusunoki had been playing the Internet game since he was in elementary school, and the total number of years he had been playing the game was longer than me, who retired from the game when I entered university.
　However, he was a light user who only connected for about an hour a day, perhaps because of his serious nature, and I seemed to be of a much higher level than him, which made me reflect on my past.
　I've been surprised at the fact that I've been playing online since I was in elementary school, but I've seen and talked to players like that even when I was playing, and some of the players I was good friends with were there... It makes me nostalgic to think about it.

　There was a newbie kid I happened to see who I missed a lot and became friends with as I taught him things. I thought she was close to my age or older, because I used to chat with her in a very polite and respectful manner, and she seemed to have a good memory and a firm way of thinking, and she seemed intelligent, so I remember I was seriously surprised when I heard she was 11 years old.
　I remember when I retired, he supported me, even though he was quite reluctant to say goodbye to me... I wonder how he's doing now?　Is he still playing that game, or has he retired like I did... Even though we were close, we only knew each other online, and there's no way to check now, but I hope he's doing well.

　As I was thinking about this, it was almost time for the date to change before I knew it. I decided to go to bed, switching my mind to nostalgic reminiscences of the past, since I was going out to the temple tomorrow.






















　A blessed family, a blessed environment - I think that's what the world sees about me.
　I may have been blessed to be the only daughter of the Kusunoki Group, a family that ran a large company of its own, and I was given a variety of things to do from an early age, but for me, the home environment was never a comfortable one.
　I learned more lessons than I can count on one hand, and while the other children of my generation were playing together outside, I was cramped at home, studying all the time.
　More than anything else, I hated the way people around me looked at me, the affectionate smiles they gave me.

　People didn't look at me. They don't look at me, they look at me as the "daughter of the Kusunoki family". I hated it so much that I couldn't do anything about it.
　A birdcage with lots of things but no freedom - that's what I thought of myself as my environment.

　I started playing online games as a bit of a break from those days. I would finish my lessons, eat dinner, take a bath and go to bed in just 30 minutes to an hour, which was a short amount of time. The reason why I chose to play a game on the Internet during my free time, which could be said to be precious to me at the time, was because I was attracted to the catchphrase "the place where you can become your ideal self".

　Conscious of the word "not me," I created a male character with a male gender, and then tried it out... To be honest, at first I didn't know what I was getting into before I even had fun. I didn't know what to do.
　The help on the official site is not very clear, there is a lot of technical jargon, and the chat in the game is full of incomprehensible talk, and of course, there is no one I can ask about it, so I was already at a loss in the town where I started.

　That's when I met "Anonin".
　The person wearing a strong-looking equipment called out to me when I was in trouble, and took good care of me as I was new to internet games and chatting.
　He gently and politely guided me through not only the games, but also the technical terms and unspoken rules of the internet, even though I was slow to type, and thanks to him, I was able to play the games properly and enjoy them.

　Once I got used to it, I really enjoyed playing online games. Nobody saw me as the daughter of the Kusunoki family, but rather as myself, which made me very happy at a very young age, and I was able to look forward to just half an hour to an hour a day for relaxation.
　Especially that guy who taught me so much in the beginning, who took the liberty of creating a new low-level character, partly because I didn't like the idea of him pulling up levels, and he always played with me in a fair party, matching me to my level.
　He would pick me up when I plugged in and take me to various hunting grounds without complaining about my poor play and lack of knowledge, taking me to various hunting grounds and listening to me chatter and complaints and other trivial stories.

　........I enjoyed the time I spent with that person the most. He was kind and dependable, but he was also somewhat laid back, and I felt at ease with him. I had no siblings, and I wondered what it would be like if I had an older brother.
　Looking back on it now, that was my - my first love.
　To confess, at that time I was in the right state of mind to say that I was playing online games because I wanted to meet that person, rather than being connected to play online games.
　However, I didn't have the sense of romance at that time, I just wanted to play with my gentle brother...
　It may sound strange to say that I'm in love with someone whose face and name I don't actually know, but in the end, the ideal person I have in mind for a love interest is a kind and dependable older man...after all, he's just like that guy, so I'm probably right. I think.
　At any rate, for me at that time, talking with that person was the most enjoyable and happy time I had, without a doubt.

　But that happy time came to an abrupt end. When I was told by him that he was going to retire for reasons of the real world, I was so shocked that my mind went blank.
　I didn't want to be selfish and bother him, so I gave him some bland words of support, but to be honest, I didn't want him to quit. I wanted him to stay with me forever.
　But eventually time passed without me being able to say anything, and three years ago in the spring, that person disappeared from the world of online gaming.

　The last day that person connected, I stayed up late for the first time in my life. I wanted to talk to that person for as long as possible...
　That man also said goodbye to me and gave me the expensive equipment and many items that I had been using. The items were so rare that it would have been a dream come true for me back then to get them, but I wasn't happy in the slightest, I was just sad.
　As I stared at the screen of the game where she was gone, I cried and finally realized how important she was to me, and at the same time, I regretted that I didn't know her properly because she always listened to me.

　The number of lessons I was taking decreased, and my parents didn't place any restrictions on me, and I had more free time to do my best in club activities.
　Starting with Yona, I've made a lot of people to call friends, and I can say that my days are really fulfilling.
　But I'm still playing that internet game, and I'm still connected to it for 30 minutes to an hour every day. I know it's a bit of a hobby for me, but I'm still hoping that maybe she'll come back to me someday....














　I turn off the lights and get into bed, my eyes reflecting the faint moonlight coming through the window.
　A lot of things happened today. Like the party at the royal palace, I think it was good that I was able to exchange a lot of words with Miyama-san, with whom I hadn't had much of a chance to talk.

　To be honest, until now, I had a part of me that had a hard time grasping the distance between me and Ms. Miyama, if I can call it that.
　Like me, Youna and Mitsunaga-kun, he is the person who was summoned to this other world, and he is the oldest among us... if I had to say so, I would say that he is someone who doesn't know what he is thinking, that was the impression I had of Mr. Miyama until now.
　At best, you can call him calm and at worst, indifferent... Despite the fact that the situation was supposed to be sudden and extraordinary, he seemed somehow calm, and while he would take the initiative in asking questions about Lilia and the others, he never talked about himself, so I don't really know what to say But early on, I felt that he was not only treating Lilia-san and Luna Maria-san, but also us, as if he was taking a step back and treating us coldly... To be honest, I was a little scared.

　But I'd say that impression has changed quite a bit since today. She was explaining the information she had obtained to us in various ways, she was worried about Mitsunaga, who she had barely spoken to, and her expression, which had been cool and calm up until now, changed in many ways today, and I felt as if I had finally come to see the person that is Miyama-san.
　I was particularly impressed by his expression when he offered a cup of tea to Youna, who was excited to see the rice, and by the smile on his face, as if he was looking at his sister, I could see that he is a kind person at heart.
　And when I saw Youna-chan, who was unfaithful because she couldn't keep up with the topic of the game, she smiled bitterly and politely taught him various things, I remembered that person.

　Perhaps the reason why she seemed to have cooled off is because she was also involved in various situations and was confused, and she was doing this on purpose so that we wouldn't feel uneasy when we saw her. That's how different my impression of Mr. Miyama today was from the one I had before.
　At the very least, the Miyama-san of today, like an older man, was dependable and dependable... I felt sorry that I was afraid of her because of my own imagination.

　Maybe it's a bad habit of mine to read too much into things and be wary of them. In fact, Miyama-san and I were talking about the game and our conversation was much easier than I had imagined, and I found her to be an easy person to talk to. I guess you can't really understand a person until you talk to them in person.
　I don't know why I'm being so extreme or naive, but my impression of Ms. Miyama has changed for the better after just having a long talk with her today.

　Thinking about this, as I was about to lower my eyelids in accordance with the drowsiness that was visiting me, I remembered the man again.

".........Shell-san.

　My first love, whose real name and face I know nothing about. The time I spent with that person is still a precious memory that remains in my heart, and all the equipment and items he left behind are still untouched and carefully stored in the internet game's warehouse. I keep them in the warehouse of my online game, so that I don't have to worry about when he comes back.......

　Even so, three years have passed, and I should have been remembering less and less recently... but what makes me remember that person over and over again today?　
　Because it's been a while since we talked about that internet game?　No, probably not.
　Oh, I see........it was just like him. The way Miyama-san was teaching Yona all kinds of things about the game reminded me of that person in my memory, so.......

　Come to think of it, Shell-san was four or five years older than me, just like Miyama-san... Did I mention that she took her handle from her real name?
　Miyama Kaito--Kaito--Shell--Shell?

"Mmm-hmm.

　Is that too convenient for you?　But I feel like I'm going to have a good dream today.

　A self-mocking smile escaped from my mouth, and my consciousness sank into slumber as I felt some warmth.