After we finished treating the injured man who had suddenly rushed in and thanked the two men for their help and left, Noah said it was time for him to go home and get ready for dinner.
　I suggested that I would give him a lift, but he told me it was okay and Noah left.
　Even though it was still before the evening, I was worried about sending a woman home alone, but... to begin with, Noah-san is a demon, a half-vampire... as long as she replenishes her blood, she's so much stronger than me! It seemed like it was unnecessary, but...

　I could have gone home as it was, but since it was a special occasion, I decided to take a look at the church, which I hadn't really looked at, and Dr. Fear gladly agreed to it.

　The vast number of crosses on the walls looks like stars in a planetarium, and that's what makes this church a little different.
　I've never been to the church in person, but I know it to some extent from watching TV and other media... at least it wasn't filled with so many crosses.

"...It's beautiful, but it's a slightly different image from the church I know.
'Yeah, that's true. Because this isn't a church to begin with.
Huh?

　When I said the question that came to mind, I received a shocking answer from Dr. Fea.
　Huh?　Not a church?　In this decor?
　Seeing me in astonishment, Fear-sensei smiles softly and opens his mouth while touching a wooden bench nearby.

''........This place was originally built by me personally, and as for me, it wasn't intended to be a church, but.......someone who misunderstood me like Miyama-kun did, asked me to let him pray. Then we added chairs and an altar and made it look like a church.
I see. So that's why Dr. Feer, a doctor, is a priest as well.


　Dr. Fea's face was beautiful as she smiled as she said that, and combined with her priestly clothes, she really looked like a saint.

''Speaking of which, why did you become a doctor, Dr. Fea?''
Huh?　Me?
Oh, no, it's okay if you don't want to hear it, but...

　I found myself unexpectedly asking such questions.
　I think Fia-sensei is an admirable person, and I can firmly know that he is truly a kind person by the feelings that come through his sensory magic.
　It's just that it was somewhat strange... it was like there was always a faint hint of dark emotion mixed in with the gentle kindness, and for some reason, when the men left earlier after saying their thanks, painful emotions were flowing out of Dr. Fea.

　I wanted to know the answer to that question, but of course there would be some circumstances and I wasn't going to force myself to ask.
　When I told her that, Fea-sensei held up her index finger with a smile after a bit of silence.

''........Well then, before I answer, a question!　Why am I a doctor in the Kingdom of Symphonia?
Because the food is so good?
'It's true that the Kingdom of Sinfonia has a good food culture. But it's a pity. It's just not the right one.

　To be honest, the only difference between the other countries and the Symphonia Kingdom for me is the development of the food culture that Alice taught me about....
　However, from the way Fea-sensei speaks, there seems to be some reason why she is based in the Symphonia Kingdom.

"The answer is........because there are 'few doctors' in the Kingdom of Symphonia.
'What?　Is that so?
Yeah. The reason for this is simple. Because there is a temple in this country to the 'Goddess of Health'.
'....Oh, right!　It's a blessing.

　I remember hearing that there is a culture in this world where people go to the temple on New Year's to receive a blessing from the goddess of health, which will prevent them from getting sick.
　I see, it certainly means less work for the doctors if no one gets sick.

'Correct ... but what you're thinking right now, Miyama-kun, is probably wrong.
...What?
.........Blessings, you know. Except for the ones done directly by the Goddess, they're only comforting... and only a handful of them can be directly blessed by the Goddess...

　I huff at Fia-sensei's words. Come to think of it, the blessing by God is a single gold coin............1 million yen in Japanese yen.
　Only the wealthy would be able to prepare a gold coin for a family.......2 million for a married couple, or more than 3 million if they have children, every year, let alone for a nobleman.
　In other words, the majority of people in the Kingdom of Symphonia do not receive direct blessings from God and get sick.

''........That's why doctors are really not a popular profession in this country. Those in the upper echelons of society who have money don't get sick, and they don't get injured as often...............So here's another problem.
What?
'If you had a child with a mermaid/harpy half-breed for a mother and a half-elf for a father, if that child got sick what hospital would you take him to?　Mermaids?　The Harpy's?　The elves?　Or is it human?
Oh...
Yes, there is an awful lot of miscegenation in this world, and the bodies are built differently. It's really hard to be a doctor... I've been a doctor for a long time, but it took me 200 years to be able to see a patient with a reasonable amount of confidence, and I still get patients with symptoms that I've never seen before.

　In this world, there is a lot of interaction between races, and mixed blood is not uncommon.
　In fact, even the people I know, Lunamaria-san is a mixed blood of four different races just from what I've heard................................then the difficulty of medical treatment would probably increase.
　What's more, the demon race is much more diverse, and the treatment of the demon race and others who live in the human world would be different from that of humans, and the diseases they suffer from would be different as well.

Well, that's why doctors tend to be in short supply, so I guess I became a doctor, right?　I'm still learning, but I'd like to be a doctor who can cure as many species as possible.
Is that to help a lot of people...?
"...Yeah. I want as many people as possible to be healthy. I just want them to be laughing... and I hope I can help them live a happy life, even if it's just a little bit.

　I think this guy is really a bottomless pit of kindness... but then again. Also, I can feel a painful emotion, as if I'm suffering from something.
　 In other words, regret........?
　But I think this is probably not a good situation to step into comfortably, and I can't just ask.

'Well, thank you for telling me. You are a good doctor, after all. I admire him.
Huh?

　 He looked helpless and pained........

　In front of me, who was confused by the change, Fea-sensei slowly walked towards the altar and muttered quietly without turning around to look at me.

''........I'm not an honorable person to be respected. No, rather ... I think I'm the biggest fool in this world.
...What?
"....the cross here. 'The number of lives I've taken'...
Huh?

　The words that were told in a sad voice were not immediately understood.
　Had he taken as many lives as this little cross on one side?　Because the crosses are so much more than just a hundred or a thousand.

...Well, uh, well, you mean, you know...people you couldn't help as a doctor?
'....No. No ... of course I'm not all-powerful either, so there are a lot of people I couldn't save. In the back room of the examining room I leave the names of all the people I couldn't save but that's not the same thing at all.
Separate?
"....a long time ago, I took the lives of many people. I took away the precious lives of innocent people for no reason.......The cross in this room is a symbol of the sins I committed and the punishment I will have to bear for the rest of my life.......

　Fea-sensei's voice doesn't sound like he's telling a lie. More than anything else, due to the sensory magic, I could painfully feel Fea-sensei's regret.

''........I don't think that saving one life would allow me to be forgiven for taking one life. No, rather, no matter how many lives I save, even if I save all the people in the world, my sins will never be forgiven......................I shouldn't be forgiven.
....
'I am not the Almighty God. No matter how much I regret, no matter how many tears I shed to the point of withering, no matter how many times I keep apologizing here every day the life that is gone will not come back.

　When I came here with Noah, Mr. Fear was in a prayer position in front of the altar.
　But that thing wasn't a prayer, it was a repentance.....................in this place, a symbol of his sins, he kept apologizing for the life he had taken.

And continue to save as many lives as possible ... that's probably the only redemption I can do.
"...Dr. Fear.
'I'm sorry. I'm not the kind of person you can respect.
....

　What can I say?　I honestly can't think of any words.
　Dr. Fear said that his sins would never be forgiven, but probably more than anyone else, Dr. Fear can't forgive himself.
　So, no matter what I said here, I was sure that Dr. Fea would carry that sin for the rest of his life.

　But what is it?　I felt like I really had to say something.

''I honestly don't know what to say. How Dr. Fear was in the past, what sins he committed I can't say anything about.
'........Yeah.
But I still have a lot of respect for Dr. Fear.
........................what?

　I don't know about Dr. Fea's past, and even if I did, I don't think I'd be able to get any impressions from him other than the one I'm not involved in, which is a mold.
　So I decided not to think about it.

'I don't know what the past was like, and I don't think I'm going to ask. But the you I've gotten to know, and the you I've been in contact with all day today... to me, you're a kind person who can reach out to someone who's been hurt, someone I can truly respect.
...Miyama-kun...
'Because it's at least 200 years old, right?　I have no way of verifying what happened back then... and even if I knew about Fea-sensei's past sins, I wouldn't lose my respect for 'you now'.
Miyama-kun....don't you often hear that you're a womanizer?
Huh?　What is it, all of a sudden?

　
　Seeing my bewilderment, Ms. Fear looks amused for some reason.

"Haha, you're popular, right?
No, no, it's not that...
I don't know... well, never mind... thank you, Miyama-kun.
Huh?　Huh?　Oh, yes. Hi, you're welcome?

　I don't know what it is, but apparently Dr. Fea seems to be feeling better, and she clasps her hands in front of her chest in goo.

'Alright, I'm motivated!　I'm going to work harder today than I ever have before!
Uh, uh, yes?
"Well, then, it's about time to go, so I'll clean up while I see Miyama-kun off...
'Oh!　Dr. Fear, on your feet!　A step!
Huh?　--Yikes!
Huh?

　As I stepped out of the room, Dr. Fierce almost stepped onto the altar, which was raised a level higher than the ground, and I immediately knew what was going to happen next and reached out my hand in a panic.
　And somehow, I managed to catch Fea-sensei, who had stepped off and was about to scramble.

''........Are you okay?''
Uh, yeah ... uh, thanks.

　
　 Let's do that.

　I pick up Fia-sensei's body and make sure that she stood up firmly before leaving.
　My hand still has the feeling of the time I just received it, and I'm getting a little nervous after all this time.
　Fia-sensei is slender.........................but what am I thinking!

Hey, Miyama-kun.
Huh?　Oh, yes!
Come visit me again. And not just when I'm treating Noah but I'll even give you a cup of tea.
Yes, sir. Okay. I'd love to come back.

　Dr. Fear is a healer, I guess you could call him a healer, he's gentle and kind, and he makes me feel at ease when I talk to him, so I was grateful for the offer.
　I'll continue to visit him in the future, so as not to interfere with my work as a doctor.

　It was already well into the evening, so I left the church-cum-hospital with Dr. Fier saying goodbye to me.
　As I turned my back to Dr. Fier, after giving him a small wave, I thought I heard a small voice say, ".......

".........I see why Chrome-sama likes you so much.......
'What?　Did you say something?
'Nope. It's nothing ... see you later!
Oh, yes.

　I turned around once to check, but Dr. Fea shook her head and gave me a big smile.
　The bright expression on his face soothed me, and I waved my hand once again before heading home once again.

　Dear Mom, Dad--Fea-sensei seemed to regret a lot of things that happened in the past, and he seemed to regret it terribly. I can't do anything about that regret, and I probably shouldn't step into it without a second thought, but regardless of that, I think Dr. Fear-sensei is - I think he's a respectable person.