452-I took a step toward that future






 We had a little accident on the way to the festival, but after enjoying the third day of the Rokugan Festival, Isis and I had come to watch the fireworks at the end of the third day.
 We moved to a hill where we could watch the fireworks, which Isis-san, the organizer of the festival, had specially prepared for us.

 The hill was covered in flowers, and even though it was getting dim, we could still see them clearly.
 It's a good idea to have the petals that are clear like blue crystals, the flower is somehow nostalgic, and I felt it was more appropriate for this place than any other.

''Kite ... this flower ... do you remember it?''
Yes, it was the blue crystal flower you gave me when I first met Isis, wasn't it?

Sure, you could be right.

 The blue crystal flower that Isis-san gave me is carefully displayed in my room. I think it's because Isis-san was right, that flower is the first memento of me and Isis-san.
 It shouldn't have been that long ago, but it feels like a long time ago. I even feel as if I've been with Isis-san for years.

 I wonder how long it's been? What made you feel more at ease when you were with Mr. Isis? Every single gesture became so endearing....
 With each memory, her presence becomes bigger and more endearing. It's as if there is no limit to her existence........

...I hated it.
...What?

 As I was thinking about that, Isis-san poured out a few words as if she was whispering to me and I turned my head towards her.

''The ... world ... isn't kind to me ... I ... always scare others. ... for ... a long time ... and I've always ... hated it.
....
''What was I ... born for? I wondered why the magic of death resided in me... I've thought ... many ... many times ... many times.

 I can understand the feeling that I didn't like myself, even if it's a little bit obvious to me. I hated myself for always making nice excuses for myself, for always running away, and for not being able to change.
 But do you call me that kind of a difference between the ideal and the reality? It was in less than a decade that I suffered from my own inadequacy.
 Still, it was impossibly painful. I remember it was painful and chilling to think that I wasn't needed.

 The same, or perhaps even greater, suffering I experienced as a natural trait, not because I was running away from it like I was.
 How many years have you endured that, Isis-san? Thousands and thousands of years? It would be easy enough to put into words, but the weight of it is incomprehensible to me, a mere human being.

''But ... but ... now ... no ... I ... ...I love this world that I got to meet Kite... I love... I love myself for being able to love Kite...
Mr. Isis.
'I can't.....see my destiny like Fate but ...if there's such a thing as fate I'm sure I'm going to have to do it in order to meet Kite. ...born.

 Ms. Isis slowly spun out the words, putting so much thought into each word that it was impossible to fully express.
 It sounded like a single song, and I could feel it as if it was seeping into the depths of my heart along with her beautiful voice.

''........Kite.''
Yes!
"I ... love Kite ... more than anyone ... more than anything. So ... my darling ... and not right away ... some day. ...When you're ready for Kite I want you to marry me.

 It was the same content that Aisis-san had once said to me when we first met. But in my heart to receive it, there was a completely different emotion in my heart from that time.
 At that time, I was greatly perplexed by the sudden proposal of marriage to someone I had just met, and.......although it was rude, I felt a little scared.

 But now........I just couldn't help but be happy with those words, the favor that Isis-san was giving me.
 That's why, after being silent for a bit, I open my mouth while looking straight into Isis-san's eyes.

''........I think it will still take some time. When I'm done preparing to live in this world for the rest of my life, when I've finished saying goodbye to the people who've taken care of me, I'm going to say goodbye to them, I'm going to be sure to say the words you just gave me, as my own words. So I want you to wait for me.
...yes!
Thank you, Miss Isis. It's been a pleasure meeting you.
"...Yeah? ....Huh? ...Kite ... isn't that an honorific?
'What? Huh? S-Sorry, sir! I was just going to....
"No I'm ... well I'm ... more ... happy for you. So.... if you'd like Kite to talk to me... you can do it in your own words.
Okay, well no, I get it. You know, I'm still a little confused.
.....

 Seeing me a little confused by my unconsciousness of my bare tone, Isis-san smiles with a happy smile.
 And just at the right time, as if to congratulate us........a large flower bloomed in the night sky.

'..........................fireworks.
...Mr. Isis?
...Yeah?
Let me say it again. I like you.
Well I love Kite too.

 No further words were needed. Under the colorful flowers that lit up the night sky the shadows of me and Mr. Isis overlapped.

 Dear Mom, Dad - when we first met, I was confused and sympathetic. But the longer we were together, the more it turned into comfort and fondness. We took a step into the future - from strangers to friends, from friends to lovers...and from lovers to lovers and onward, building up more and more memories as we moved forward - we took a step into that future.