Even in the middle of the night, the air was warm and damp, as if they had been provided with hot water for bathing, and the changing room was warm and damp without getting cold at the bottom.

　Drops were still running down from my wet hair and dripping down from my white elbows to my feet.

'......, Air Spirit, Airia, ...... answer to my voice.
"Well, wait a minute, ......, whatever you're trying to do, calm down, ......!

　You're telling me that I've seen the secret, and you're going to use your skills - she - Leslie - with a towel that unreliably covers the front of her body, she - Leslie - closes the gap from the front.

''d*mn it ......!''

　I didn't know what I was going to do, and I couldn't fight back. I'm not going to be able to get the best out of it.

...... airia ...... the air clothed in my body ......, which has become a nebulous illusion and substituted for... ...
'...... I see. I didn't see that at the Air Spirit ...... institute, but that's what you were using.

　I say, looking up at Leslie, who is draped over me and holding my shoulders down.

　-- her wet hair hangs over her face and her eyes just catch me as if she is frightened and can no longer continue chanting, she just looks at me.

　Even the towel that was hiding her body has already flown away. I had never seen her so distraught before.

'It's quite a great magic. ...... I just thought you were a different person when you were completely male. So changing the feel of your voice isn't too difficult if you're an air spirit?

　I don't know much about anything outside of my field of expertise, but a voice, in other words, is a vibration of the human vocal cords that is transmitted to the air and produced as a sound.

　If Leslie can contract with and interfere with air spirits, it's not surprising that she can change her voice. Even so, there was a limit to it, but he hadn't been able to lower the level of his voice.

'...... Why didn't you come back a little later, ......?'
'I'm sorry. Even with this, it's been quite some time since I left the sanitation building while Leslie was asleep and came back from His Highness' place.
Still, ...... and a little bit more ...... and a little bit later, if you could slow down a little bit, .......
...... then I'd be oblivious for a lot longer. But I'll realize it eventually. You'll have to realize, no matter how stupid it is that you didn't know anything about it before.

　The strength in Leslie's hands that had been holding me down loosened. She pulled her hand away and tears spilled from her eyes.

'Brother ...... Glass is not ...... stupid, and I knew that if the ...... academy gave me an order, I would absolutely follow it...' ...The dean of the school said as much. That's why he told me ...... brother Glass before he went: ......
'So you're saying that ...... you talked to your sister-in-law about it and you're following me. It's not like I'll never see you again, so why would you do that?
...... You never know what you'll find when you go to the battlefield. Even today, if a lot of people died and ...... my brother Glass had to do that, I wouldn't have to ...... again.

　I didn't think I'd ever see her. Unable to put it into words to that extent, Leslie began to cry without raising her voice.

　She was so elusive, always so calm. She had better grades than me, but she drew the same outlier spirit and was no longer recognized by her peers - not that we were comforting each other in the same situation. But for sure, I had Leslie and Sven as my confidants.

　--It's just that the ones who are chosen by the outlier spirits are not born lucky.

　--Hey, she's taking care of trees again. I wish he'd quit the academy and become a gardener.

　--Glass Weed. Perhaps you should consider helping your father with his work instead of being a mage. If you're a clerk in the King's City Council, I can write you a letter of introduction.

　If you hadn't joined the academy to become a mage, you might have chosen to live the way they say you did. But now that I was in the Academy of Magic, I couldn't give up my dream.

　Every time I was despised and marginalized, I felt one of those feelings of cursing the world at first.

　My friends were the only reason I was able to endure being treated as an outcast.

　Even when I was denied the spirits I had contracted with and forced to reduce myself to a mere breathing entity in the academy, I didn't give up.

　I wasn't afraid of dying.

　When you think no one needs you and your dreams are cut off, it's easy for people to despair, to look at the world with cold eyes, and all you can think about is the words that put you and others down.

　It's even worse than dying to stop like that and live with your emotions sunk to the bottom of the mud.

　I waited until the crying Leslie had calmed down and she looked at me.

　Eventually, her moist eyes turn to me. I thought back to the first time I met Leslie.

　She looked at me that time, too. As if she was afraid, but as if she wanted something.

'I had a ...... dream,'
What you said about wanting to be a ...... dream ...... court mage?
That's part of it. But before that ...... I wanted to be a mage and be something else all along. That's about as vague a dream as you can imagine.

　I don't think Leslie has a clue what I'm trying to say yet. But he's interested, and his breathing gradually calms down.

...... All the people who died today and all the soldiers who have died for their country so far were like that. I'm not going to be able to say that I'm not going to be able to do anything about it. But if they had survived ...... they would have been able to chase their dreams again.

　I'll be assigned to the fortress at the front line as a military doctor. When I accepted it, I just thought the job of a military doctor was for that, with the primary focus being to be able to sit at the end of the court mages.

　Now, it's different. Being able to come to this fortress as a military doctor has fulfilled one of my dreams. That's not the end of it - even if it's not fair to think about this, I can't help but wish for it.

I'll see to it that this battle is over. I want to find out what I can do until I don't have to fight one day. It would be a blessing to live in peace where there is no fear of death. But then I'll end up just living and dying one day, watching Leslie marry off in the distance and not doing what I can do. I'd rather do what I have to do here, even if I don't know when I'm going to die.
"...... glass brother ...... my, my house ...... knew about ......?
...... I don't know everything about it. But I do know that ...... Leslie has the blood of a duke in her veins. I'm sorry I've been quiet for so long. I don't have the right to be angry at Leslie for what he's been up to. I've been lied to worse than that, too.

　When I told the truth, I wondered if I was going to lose everything, or - I thought it was a sin to even think that I might be forgiven.

'...... That's not ...... a lie. Brother Glass didn't say anything for me. I was more concerned about myself and ...... even now, I was just trying to protect my own lies .......
...... So we're both the same then. I guess we've been overthinking things.

　At first, Leslie looked surprised.

　But I wonder if she understood the meaning of 'the same' - she smiles for the first time in a long time, with a smile on her face.

　I can't say anything to that crying and laughing expression. I was the one who made her think so hard about it - she was more afraid of me dying on the front lines than I was of her.

　My feelings for her were just warm. I was grateful and wondered what I could do to repay her.