24 Conscious feelings





I've had a few conversations with Shayla since the party ended. Most of them started when Diana received a report that Shayla was in a deserted place without any purpose, and went to her place.

In the course of several such conversations, the "appointed place" with Shayla - deep in the palace, in the shade of a corridor near the backyard where no one usually goes - was established.

............

Even now, Shayla was there. Her eyes were still open, but she was absent-minded, gazing off into the distance in a daze. The fact that she was not crying or distraught made her appearance even more painful.

"...... Master Shayla.
"Dee? Dee, is that you?
"Yes. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.
No, no, no, no. I'm just glad you're here...

Shayla seemed to come back to her senses. Sheila seemed to have regained consciousness, and hiding behind a bush in the hallway, Diana spoke.

I'm sure you'll be fine.
"...... What?
"...... I heard you had some trouble yesterday. I was unable to help Master Shayla in any way.
"Master Dee! I hope you don't mind me saying so.

"Don't worry about it, Master Dee!" Shayla said, turning around to face Diana.

Sheila turned to Deanna and said, "I know you're worried about me, but I'm really fine. I was only surrounded by the Peony Faction, my tea was cold, and ...... the Red Rose helped me right away.
I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that, but ...... are you sure you're okay with that, Shayla? If the Red Rose helps you, doesn't that mean that the Peony Faction sees you as a member of the Red Rose Faction, regardless of how you feel about it? Even though Shayla-sama doesn't want to join the faction.

I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I've been able to help you out, but that's what Diana was most concerned about. In the event that the Red Roses were to go all out to protect Shayla, that would be the most effective way to protect her. However, at the same time, it also means forcibly dragging Shayla, who doesn't want to fight against the faction, into the circle. If Shayla's intentions are different from yours, you have to start thinking of other options now.

...... I certainly don't like to fight.
You're right...
But if I can repay the Red Roses for their kindness in putting their bodies on the line for me, I will call myself the Red Roses. If that's what the Red Rose wants.

Hmm?
There's something wrong with the flow of conversation. Shayla's voice was firm and full of determination. Not being able to grasp Shayla's mind, Diana tilted her head and asked back.

But you don't want a factional war, do you? I'm not sure what to make of this, but I think it's a good idea.
It may be so, but ....... I'm sure you're not the only one who has a problem with this.

I'm not going to worry about it at all.
It's not like you can say that as Dee. Now Deanna is talking very carefully, keeping herself and the Red Rose separate. Shayla may be naive, but she is a very perceptive girl. If she accidentally slipped up, her true identity would be revealed immediately.

Deanna, as 'Dee', made a disgruntled sound.

Master Shayla cares too much. I don't think Shayla cares about that kind of thing.
"Why not? The Red Rose saved me. ......
Sheila did not ask you to help her, did she? If that's the case, then what happened yesterday was something the Red Rose did on its own.
But it was thanks to the Red Rose that I was saved. Not only that, but the Red Rose also said that she would protect me in the future.
I'm not sure what to do, but I'm sure it's a good idea. Just because the Red Rose offers protection doesn't mean that Shayla has to join the Red Rose herself.
"That's a very selfish way of thinking, Master Dee!

I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'm sure it's a good idea. ...... This may or may not be...

"...... Master Shayla, are you angry with me?
"No, ......, I'm sorry. No, , I'm sorry. I know you're saying that because you're worried about me, Dee.

But ......, Shayla continued.

"I've always wondered, isn't Master Dee a bit cold towards the Red Rose?
"What? Well, do you?
Yes. It's true that there are many bad rumors about him, but I don't think he's that bad of a person. ...... Do you by any chance think that Master Dee is trying to get me to join her faction in order to increase her power in the palace?

I'm at a loss to answer that question. I know the Red Rose's thoughts better than anyone else (she is the Red Rose herself, after all), but I've never thought about what Dee thinks of the Red Rose. Since the Red Rose is herself, she can't help but talk down to her, but this seems to have been seen by Shayla as cold.
Now, how should I answer? Dee's silence, as she searched for words, seemed to Shayla to be an affirmation.

"Don't worry, Master Dee. The Red Rose is not trying to take advantage of me.


"...... How do you know?
There is no reason. I've only met her twice, once on the night of the party and once yesterday. I've only met her twice, but she doesn't strike me as someone who would use, torment, or harm others.

The point is that it's just a hunch. I should probably tell her not to trust people easily based on their senses, but Deanna was too choked up to speak up.

--Yes, she had only met Shayla twice as the Red Rose. I'm not sure if you've heard of it or not.
I wonder if Shayla was able to recognize Diana in those two encounters. I thought there was no one else but the Swoon family who would be so peculiar.

Shall I tell you who I am? A momentary temptation was interrupted by an even greater hesitation.

Shayla trusts Dee to reveal her heart to me. They laughed, they cried, they got angry. Just like a normal friend. To Dee, who doesn't even show up.
And at the same time, Shayla is convinced that the Red Rose is not who they say she is. I'm not sure what kind of filters are in place, but she seems to recognize me as a trustworthy person.

What will happen when Shayla finds out that they are the same person?
If it works, no problem. The bond with Shayla is strengthened, and congratulations are in order.
But Deanna has been in contact with Shayla for a long time, changing her voice and disguising her identity. If Shayla felt cheated, her trust in both Dee and the Red Rose might disappear. I'd like to believe that this is not the case with Shayla, but the human heart is unpredictable.

...... It's better to stay the course than to accidentally be disliked.
The conclusion that she settled on took Deanna by surprise.

I don't care what people who don't care think of me. If a relationship can be broken by showing your true feelings, then that's as far as it goes.
Isn't that the way you've always thought? But with Shayla, you're afraid that she'll hate you for revealing the truth.

"...... Dee, sir?

I'm sure you're wondering why Dee is suddenly silent," Shayla said slowly. Deanna breathed out slowly.

I think I like you a lot more than I thought I did, Shayla.
"What? What? Master Dee?
"You don't like me, do you, Shayla?
Please don't joke about it! I love you!

Shayla seemed to be shouting in earnest. She looked straight into the bushes where Deanna was and pleaded with her.

Do you know how happy I am to see you, Master Dee? Do you know how happy I am to see you, Dee? Whenever I've had a hard time, whenever I've been afraid, you've always helped me. Even today, even if I can't see her, just by coming here, I can do my best.
"Shayla-sama.
It's okay. I knew that from the beginning. I knew from the beginning that your whims would not last forever.

Perhaps it was because she had once let her emotions run free. Shayla's voice was unnaturally cheerful. The air in the room was very dangerous, and I could feel that I should not leave her like this.

"Master Shayla.
It's all right. If I wanted to, I would have asked why 'Master Peony'. The Red Rose is much more beautiful and talented.
"...... Don't do it, Master Shayla.
What is it, Master Dee?
You mustn't cheat your heart out.

He cut in quietly. Shayla fell silent.

"Honestly, it's hard for me to understand you right now, Shayla. But ......, I understand that you are overwhelmed right now.
"...... can't...
If you're in pain, you're in pain. If you're sad, you're sad. Don't try to cover it up. ...... It's harder for me to see you like this.

And then. There was a light sound. Shayla was on her knees, covering her face with her hands and shaking.
A sobbing voice came through.

"...... I knew it, I knew it. I was prepared for it. And yet, I...
"Master Shayla, you don't have to speak.

Shaking her head, Shayla continued. Shaking her head, Shayla continued, seemingly uninterested in stopping.

I was certainly heartbroken to hear that you had gone to another ......!
"It's .........
It's no good. You can't fall in love with him. Your Majesty was only kind to me on a whim. ...... I know that, but why does my heart hurt so much ......?



...... What are you doing, Your Majesty?
Deanna's heart was filled with unmistakable anger.

I don't know what his intentions were, or what he was thinking when he took this action. But as a result, she's making the girl she loves cry in a corner of the palace. Shouldn't he have at least revealed his thoughts to Shayla in a letter or message? That's unbecoming of a man.

Gasa.
I found my body moving of its own accord. I slipped out of the bushes, kneeled down in front of the crying Shayla, and slowly embraced her body. Shayla's shoulders jerked.

"...... Dee, sir?
Please don't look up.

No matter how much she disguised herself with her wig and clothes, if someone saw her from the front, they would know. Pulling Shayla's head closer, Diana said.

I'm going to stay like this until you calm down. ...... Let me do what I can, Shayla.
"...... Dee.

I can't really feel what Shayla is feeling. But I can be there for Shayla when she cries.
--Instead of mourning what I can't do, I'll just... I'll do the best I can.

A full-blown sob echoed around the area. As she stroked Shayla's back, Diana half-seriously formulated a plan to hang the king.