What the hell do you think you're doing?

As soon as I returned to the Oval Office and paid my respects, I was greeted with the expected complaint from Juke. Of course, I responded in a nonchalant manner.

"What do you mean?
"Why you acted like that in front of the Red Rose!
It doesn't matter, the Red Rose will keep quiet about it.
How should I know?　I don't care if it's something else, but...
"I thought you were going to stop assuming things like that?

I thought you were going to stop assuming things like that..." Juke retracted his objection. Even if you try to stop, it's hard to change a habit that's been around for a long time. I'm sure he knows that.

What did you think when you talked to the Red Rose?　Is she as bad as the rumors say she is?
"Well...

There was some hesitation, but Juke was basically straightforward. You'll be able to find a lot more information on the web.

I'm not sure what to make of that. The content of the story did not seem to be that of an evil woman. I've heard that not only the maidservants brought from her family home, but even the palace maids truly adore her. The fact that she refused my apology once was not out of arrogance, but out of a sense of importance of what lies beyond the apology. I didn't expect her to be so wise.
You saw her with your own eyes and talked to her, didn't you?
Yes. That's what I thought and felt for myself, without taking into account the rumors and opinions I've heard. I don't know if she's a bad girl or not, because there might be more to it. But talking to her like this, she seems very wise and generous.

Having said all that, Juke let out a long breath.

It's ...... exhausting, isn't it?
Hmm?
Seeing, hearing, and thinking for yourself can be so exhausting and confusing.
"Juke...

I looked into his face. A self-mocking smile appeared on his face.

How much easier it would have been if the answer had been set in stone from the start, if we had been told what to do and lived accordingly. You never get lost, you never stop, you never realize how stupid you are.
...... Would you have preferred it that way?
If it was better, I wouldn't be hating myself so much. If it was better, I wouldn't be hating myself so much. ...... I thought I was thinking, I thought I was deciding, I was just being lazy.

I've been talking to the Red Rose, and it's clear to me.
Juke's voice had no power as he muttered.

I wondered what the Red Rose was thinking, what kind of person she really was, and what the truth behind her words were. The more I tried to find out without being trapped by rumors, the more I didn't understand. If I had just believed the rumors and listened to every word, there would have been only one answer.
But you didn't. That's what's important, isn't it?
That's what I've been doing. I wasn't thinking. I was just twisting reality to make it fit the right answer. Not just about the Red Rose. It's not just about the Red Rose, it's about the palace, it's about politics, it's about ......, it's even about being a king.
What do you mean?
"What do you mean?" "What did the Red Rose say before the garden party started?　The king is there for all the people in the country.

I think that's what a pissed off Diana said.
Juke smiled bitterly.

"Seriously, I'm surprised. --My father said the same thing to me once.
"To the king at ......?
Oh. Only once. The first time I had an audience with the people.

What should have been a fond memory seemed to be giving him pain now.

I had been taught that a king was to be respected, served and revered by his subjects. I've been taught that a king is to be respected, served, and revered by his subjects, to listen carefully to the words of his trusted subjects, and to make wise decisions without pondering.
What?　Who the hell said that?
Well, who was it?　I don't remember the names of all the people who taught me this stuff, because they changed from time to time and they all said the same thing. I don't remember all the names. That was part of the teaching.
"What kind of teaching?
A king should not be obsessed with trivial matters of the lower classes. There's no need to fuss over a new teacher, is there?
"Wow...

I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not.

I'm sure you've seen the same look on my face.
Did you tell him the same story?
We didn't talk about this, but we did talk about how you taught me not to overthink things.
That would turn off anyone in their right mind. It is true that there are some kinds of political affairs that you should not be thinking about, but aren't they limited to disasters, crop failures, major accidents, and other cases where people's lives are directly threatened?


I was taught that my duty was to evaluate the work of my subjects with proper knowledge. I was taught that my duty was to evaluate the work of my subjects with proper knowledge.
That roughly translates to, "Don't think about it, just push the seal.
"On second thought, it seems to me, too.

It's a theory that seems sophomoric to Alford, but apparently Juke has been bound by it for years. In that light, the short-sightedness of his thinking is understandable.

That must be why your father looked so difficult. When I saw the audience, I asked him, "Is it really necessary to listen to such a trivial story? He gave me a word of advice. He said, "A king is for his people.
...... How could you ask such a scary question? Didn't you ever think you might get angry?
Because I didn't understand that it was a question that would make me angry in the first place.
That's where you're coming from. That's the point. ...... You can't be angry, Your Majesty.

I don't know if it was a blessing or a curse that he was so naive as to believe what he was taught.

I was surprised by your words. It's so different from what I've been taught.
Normally, you would have questioned it, thought about it, asked about it.
I did wonder about it. But I was forbidden to do either of those things, so I had to swallow it.
Huh?　I was told not to think, but not to ask?
Questions, you mean?　Whenever I asked a teacher about something I found strange or disturbing, I was always told. "The man who will be king must not be obsessed with such trivial matters.

Alford finally lost his patience with Juke, who cheerfully said, "I've been told so much I can recite it.

You can recite it by heart.　Don't even think about it.　Don't think, don't even ask questions!　Don't think, don't even ask questions! That's torture, that's deprivation of free thought!
Why are you angry, Alford?
I'm usually angry!　I care about you, you know!　Who wouldn't be angry to know that someone they care about has been treated so unfairly since they were a kid?

Juke smiled happily.

Juke smiled happily, "Do you think I'm important?　Not because I'm the King?
"Of course you're the King, you're my Lord. I've been by your side almost every day for a year and a half, watching you struggle with unfamiliar political tasks. You take the throne more seriously than I've ever heard you raised to. You're trying to be a good king. Is it bad that I've grown attached to such a person and want to support him as much as I can?
"Alford...
Don't underestimate him too much. Even a vassal has a will. If I didn't feel that you were worthy of my service, I wouldn't have spent a year with you in the first place, and I wouldn't have been so honest with you.

Somehow, Juke's eyes are moistening. This is what makes Alford Alford, the fact that he can say these words in earnest and not be taken back, but make you feel for him. Incidentally, it was because of this skill that I became friends with Edward.
Juke stood up unsteadily and grasped Alford's hand.

Will you stay with me no matter how bad I am?
What are you talking about? You're still with me. What kind of bad guy are you going to be?
"......, sure.

Juke laughs, as if he is laughing at himself. Alford shook his grabbed hand.

It's not the time to be laughing!　Remember whoever tortured the crown prince like that!
"You can't blame them for what they did. They were just doing what they were ordered to do.
Don't show your generosity in the wrong places!
It's okay. It's okay. ...... It's okay.

I'm the one who decided to follow them, even if I was just a child.
I'm your father's only son," Juke said with a sad smile.

I was your father's only child. As the Dauphin, I was surrounded by many people from a young age, but I never felt a connection with anyone. Everyone stayed by my side because it was their duty, and if I didn't follow my teacher's words, they wouldn't even be nice to me. It's scary to have no expression, no words, only care. They don't respond when you talk to them.
"...... What?
If you listen to your teachers and be a good boy, at least you wouldn't have that problem. I wanted people to be nice to me instead of pushing myself and rebelling. So I chose to obey them.

Finally, Alford's anger reached a critical mass and he could not even spare the energy to yell.

"Okay, okay. I'll be right back.
Alford?
I'm going to go through the records and find out whoever it was that pulled off such a dereliction of duty.
No, wait a minute!　What are you talking about? The Commander of the Kingsguard doesn't have that kind of authority.


「王を守ることが俺の仕事だ. 過去だろうが関係あるか」
「気持ちはありがたいが、少し落ち着け」
「これが落ち着いていられるか！　許していいことじゃないぞ！」

やっぱり怒鳴ってしまったアルフォードを、ジュークはやや強引に座らせた.

「言っただろう？　俺が望んだのは、こうやって本気で接してくれて、心を通わせることができる『誰か』だ. 今はお前が居てくれるんだから、昔のことはもう良い」
「ジューク…」
「よく、これほど愚かな王を見捨てず、仕え続けていてくれたな」

自嘲を含んだ言葉を、アルフォードは鼻で笑い飛ばした.

「お前を愚かだと思ったことなんざねぇよ」
「俺は俺を愚かだと思うぞ？」
「本当に愚かな奴はな、自分が愚かだってことに死ぬまで気付かないもんだ. 俺は初めて会ったときから、お前は王でいて大丈夫だと思ってた」
「初めて……とは、即位の前に引き合わされたときか？　あのときの俺は、みっともないくらいに震えていたと思うが……あれでどうして」

そもそも先王の崩御自体、誰も予想していなかったことだった. ある日突然患い、大慌てで主治医が診たときには既に手遅れ. 奇跡は起こらず、あっという間にこの世を去った. そしてジュークに、早すぎる玉座が回ってきたのだ.
当時のことを思い出したのか情けない顔になったジュークに、アルフォードは笑いかけた.

「震えていたからだよ」
「は？」
「お前は震えていた. 『王』という地位に. その重圧に. だろ？」
「俺に仕えていた者たちはお祭り騒ぎだったけどな. 俺はそんなに楽観的にはなれなかった. ……父上みたいに立派な王になる自信はなかったし、これからは俺の肩にこの国の行く末がかかっている. そう思うと、怖くてな」
「気付いてるか、ジューク？　自分が未熟であることと、『王』という存在の重さ. それを分かっていなければ、そんな恐怖は覚えないんだぞ」

予想外のことを言われたかのように、ジュークは目を見開いた.

「お前が玉座に怯えているのを見て、俺は、このお方なら大丈夫だと思った. 『王』として何を一番大切にするべきか、きちんと分かっていらっしゃるとな. だから、騎士団長の職を引き受けたんだ. この王になら仕えられる、そう思ったから」
「……買い被り過ぎだ. すぐに落胆しただろう」
「そりゃあな. 重臣の言うことホイホイ信じて、オイオイそれで良いのかって言いたくなるほど猪突猛進で、即断即決思い込んだらすぐ実行. ちょっと立ち止まれよ考えろよ、って言いたくなったことは、まぁ数え切れないくらいある」

ジュークはずどーんと落ち込んだ. 分かっていても、ズバリ言われるとやはり痛いらしい.
アルフォードは、でも、と笑った.

「お前、大事なところは外さないからな」
「……例えばどこだ？」
「ソワール地方が豪雨にやられたとき、真っ先に民の救済を命じただろう」
「当然のことだ. 民がいなければ、国は成り立たない」
「下々のことは『些事』じゃないのか」
「何を言うのだ. 王国が長い歴史を誇り、ここまで発展してきたのは、全て民の力の賜物ではないか. 民を守らずして、誰を守る」
「……ちなみに、それは誰かに教わったことか？」
「ん？　歴史を学べば、そう思わないか？」

話に聞いた『帝王学』を植え付けるような『教師』が、そんな真っ当な教え方をするとは思えない. 偏りのある授業を受けて、それでもこの結論に達することができたのだとしたら、大したものだ.
アルフォードは、優しく笑んだ.

「ほら. ちゃんとお前は、『民のためにある王』だ」
「そんな……そんなことはない. 今日紅薔薇に言われるまで、父上のお言葉を忘れていたのに」
「大切なのは、言われたことを覚えておくことじゃない. 心に響いた言葉を、人生の肥やしにできるかどうかだ. お前には、それができた」
「アルフォード、あまり俺を甘やかすな. 俺は今日、自分がどれほど愚かで怠惰な王だったか、自覚したばかりなのだぞ」
「考えることを覚えたんだから、これから正していけるさ. またお前が突っ走りそうになったら、俺が止めてやる」
「それは助かるが……間違え続けたこれまでは、変えられない」

本気で悔やんでいるジュークの肩を、アルフォードはぽんと叩いた.

「ジューク、良いこと教えてやろうか？　人間は、間違う生き物なんだよ」
「だが、俺は『王』だ. 間違うなど」
It doesn't matter if you're a king or not, when you make a mistake, you make a mistake. It's impossible to live without mistakes.
"And Alford, ......?
Oh, I made a mistake, I made a mistake. I'm still regretting it.

It was a very painful mistake. It was a very painful mistake, and Alford would never forgive himself for being so stupid as to not understand anything.

"I made a mistake, and I regret it. That's how we're going to live. --Every time we make a mistake, we start over.
Redo...?
Yes. When you realize you've made a mistake, you can change it. Then you can start again. That's all I'm saying.

People always want to live as righteously as possible. We want to be right.
And yet, we still make mistakes. Sometimes we make mistakes knowingly, sometimes we make unavoidable mistakes. As long as we are alive, we cannot live without making mistakes.
The important thing is not not to make mistakes. What is important is not that you never make a mistake, but whether you can stop when you realize your mistake. It is whether you can find the right path from there.
--That's how we live our lives.

You can't change the past. But we can change the future by looking back and reviewing the past. You can get closer to the future you want.
Is it too late to start over?
It's never too late to start over. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

"It's never too late to start over," Alford thought to himself as he spoke to Juke.
Yes, it's never too late. We can always start over.

Looking at Juke who nodded with bright eyes, Alford also felt renewed.

And three days after the garden party...





"......?　What is this report on the expenses of the inner palace. The amount of money fluctuates strangely, doesn't it?

The king, who had stopped letting his doubts go unanswered, was about to cause the biggest upheaval in the inner palace...