Staring at the TV screen as if you were dead may be the best bliss hidden in everyday life. I have only recently begun to realize this.
The state in which the brain's rotation is stopped and information is received only by the eyes is truly the ultimate in relaxation. You can only understand part of the reason why my mind is so wrapped up in happiness by monitoring my brain with electrodes.
Sensation is subjective. It is the one and only sensation that cannot be shaken, no matter what anyone says. You cannot feel a person's 'senses'. It is as foolish as trying to see into the other person's eyes.

Brother, get out of the way!

Ugin, my sister, tapping my leg as I lay on the sofa.

'Mom. Ugin is about to amputate my leg.

My mother just nodded 'yes, yes' as she washed the dishes.

'I'll get the saw, brother!
Don't do anything dangerous. Don't talk like a girl I know well.
'Heh. Tomorrow is the school festival, right, brother?
'Yes, but...'
I'm going.
'What? What about school?''
'It's Saturday, and my club activities are on Sunday, so I'm free, so I'll be there.
'I see. Have fun on your own.
'Who are you going around with, brother?'
I don't go around with anyone. I'm supposed to be a security guard and a guide for the festival.
''Alone?''
No, with Alina.
'What? You're going around with Alina.
'It ain't like that. ......'
'Again. You're so happy.

It's too late now for my sister to make fun of my relationship with Alina. I'm getting to the point where I can't shake the suspicion.

I'm a bachelor.
'That's not true. Because I'm not old enough to get married.
'...... I can drink tomato juice for the rest of my life. That's all I want.'
'You're changing the subject. Is it because I told you that I like tomato juice?
I don't know. I've been drinking tomato juice ever since Mr. Ugin told me it was good for my health, but it's not about health, it's simply delicious.
'Gee. That's great. I don't want tomato juice. I can't drink that stuff.
'You're missing out on 80% of your life.
I don't want to live like that.

If I run into Ugin while I'm on patrol with Alina, I'm going to get in trouble. I guess I'll just have to trust in God for one day.
God. Please take control of the world so that we don't run into Ugin tomorrow.




The day of the festival.

Unlike the usual gloomy morning, I feel a bright and hot feeling of hope in my heart.
The air is full of human vitality, and I feel like I'm going to be swallowed up by it.
Classmates are busily moving around even before the morning assembly begins. The school opens its doors to the public at 9:00 a.m., so the place is already packed with people in cosplay. My class is temporarily in chaos. The scene I was aiming for at the beginning has been created perfectly, with the ages and the worldviews all messed up.
The problem is that Makoto is still a centaur. Shorts, aloha shirt, and horse mask. Perhaps a reverse centaur would be a more accurate description. He should not have to wear it now, but he was already wearing it. It has become an integral part of his body.

A 'reverse centaur. How are you?
'I've never felt better. I feel like I'm going to explode.
'That's a good thing. If you feel like you're about to explode, please do it in the bathroom.
'All right. I'll lick it all up.'

What the hell? This guy's f*cked.

After the morning assembly, the classmates went into their own routines. The open house will be starting soon.
I quickly left the classroom and made my way to the student council.
On my way there, I bumped into Alina.

Hey.
'You look like crap in the morning.'
'Don't say that. Have a good day.'
'So.'

She replies blankly with the same blank expression on her face.
But I know her.
I know Alina, who comes to school with a large baggage in her hands.
I know.
I know it's all clothes.
She's been acting like she doesn't want to do it, but she's actually being honest about her body. It seems Alina's "I'll do it if I have to" spirit is still alive and well.

Arriving at the student council, I first take out my sealed armband.

Public Morals

The armband with this inscription is slipped under the left arm.

'Hey. Why is it in English?
'I don't know. It's embarrassing.'


I think a regular usher would have been fine. Is this also the chairman's intention?
'You must be a very stupid chairman. That chairman.
'Stupid, I can hear you.

I drowned out the voices with my yelling. It must have looked like a caveman going crazy to everyone around me.
It's a cultural festival, let's keep it peaceful.

There were people outside the window.
I knew that it was 9 o'clock when I saw the crowd of people coming through the school gate.
The signal for the start of the festival, which was broadcasted throughout the school, was propagated by the voice of the broadcasting club.

The festival is about to start!

Members of the student council began working on the opening event.
And so we get into action.

Okay, let's go to the gymnasium first.
'So you want to go to the opening.
'That's right. It gets lonely on campus during the opening. I don't feel like policing it. That's why we're going to the gym.
'All right. Let's get the hell out of here, minnow.

I'm too lazy to even bother with the tsukkomi, so I'll just go through with it.

Comet Sakakimagi and Alina Hiba have become guardian deities roaming the school grounds with public morals shining on their arms.

They may be just idle people, though it may be a cool thing to say.
As for me personally, I am most fortunate to have escaped the masquerade. Frankly speaking, it was a pain in the ass.


The frenzy in the gymnasium was outrageous.
People crammed into a space shielded by black curtains. Imagine a cockroach whip. That's exactly what it was.
The stage was lit up, and each activity took its turn to promote itself by performing and dancing.
The students are in high spirits and shout in response whenever someone on stage says something. I was overwhelmed by the enthusiasm that I don't usually feel. Some of them had glow sticks. (I later learned that they were called psylliums.)
Makoto was already wearing a horse mask when the badminton team was introduced. It was incomprehensible. I knew it was too late, but she was a different person now. The members of the badminton club were laughing. Next to me, Alina was making a withering suggestion: 'I think I'd better make it into a horse-mask.
Alina and I lean our backs against the wall and watch the opening. Alina looked tired from the crowd.

'You want to get out?
'No problem. It's not that bad.'

I hope that's the case.
As for me, I'm worried that Alina's participation in the fashion show will be affected.
I'll see what I can do.
The best way to get back at her is for me to get a front seat. You don't want to be seen. I'm gonna drop my pelvis in a panic. Then I'll pick it up and put it back in. Boom.
The student council officers seem to be on schedule, and so far, so good. I'm a member of the student council, so I have a pretty good idea of how things are going.
So the opening will be over soon.


The opening ended with the finale of the brass band performance. The festival began in style with President Jun Seki's opening and closing remarks.

Let's go.
'Yes.'

In the name of public morals, we began to act as the guardian gods of the festival.