You became skinnier and skinnier, and I was afraid that you were grooming your wings to fly far away.
The schoolyard was a carpet of silver, as white as your skin in the sun. My breath was white, and my numb fingertips were also morbidly pale.

The time for students is very short, the winter break and the New Year's holiday are fleeting.
Is it because you know the end is in sight, or is it simply because you are so focused and oblivious to time? Either way, the clock seemed to me to be dashing.

'Alina. The center is just a ticket! It's still important, but for Alina's school of choice, the second round is crucial!
'Yes, I know.
'But that doesn't mean you can't cut corners! Okay?
'It's okay. I'm going to stay calm.

Tsuru, who had already been accepted through the AO entrance exam, came to the center exam room to give me a pep talk.

I'd better get going. I'm so cold I'm forgetting everything.
'Gah! Then hurry up and go, go, go! Hurry up and get in the greenhouse!''
'Yes, thank you, Crane.
'Go for it! Comets are cheering you on in your dreams, too!
'I wish you could talk in your sleep. Thank you, Tsuru.

She kept waving at me until I entered the venue.




Your shadow was everywhere.
I was especially annoyed by the backs of tall men. The moment I jumped out of a crowded train and looked up the stairs, or when I stretched my back while writing in a caf , or when I caught sight of you in the front row of a university lecture, his image would appear unexpectedly in my vision. Even though I knew I was mistaking him for someone else, it was enough to affect my psyche.

'Arina, haven't you joined the circle yet?

I am often asked such a question. Not only this time, but it is a question I have been asked ever since I entered the school.

I have no intention of joining at the moment. I'm too busy.
'Do you have a part-time job or something?'
'I haven't yet, but I'm planning to start in the next month or so.
I see. But our circle is not that active and I think Alina would like it.
''I'll think about it.

I refuse as usual.
The male seniors, whom I do not know, are eager to talk to me. I know they have ulterior motives, which is why I refuse, but above all I want to have some free time. Time to study, time for hobbies, time to visit him. I wanted to make time for various things.

As a result, I was accepted to the school of my first choice and graduated from high school. After being a flowery high school girl, I started a new four years as an enchanting college girl. I had a hard time getting used to living alone and having to do everything by myself. But I am enjoying my days very much.
Thanks to him, I had no trouble making friends. I got along with him quickly, and my friendships grew very wide. I met more people than I could have ever imagined in high school. Looking back, I think it all started when I met him.
If I had not met him, I would not have had any contact with Tsuru, nor would I have met Shirana, Yuri, or Rinne. I will never forget the memories of the gymnastic festival.
I cried at the graduation ceremony because I was so sad to leave them. My heart was rolling in such a good direction.

The intercom rang.
On the monitor, I saw Chiho waving at me.

'Come in, come in.
'Sorry to disturb you! I knew Alina's room smelled good~!

Chiho Sakuraba was the first friend I met in college. We met out of the blue during a lecture, when she asked me, 'Are you a model or something? I was so excited that she happened to be standing next to me and asked me to join her. I'm not a model. Since then, we have often spent time together.
She is what is called a cool type of girl, and men often make fun of her as a 'cold-eyed girl', but she has an active personality. People around us think that Chiho and I are similar in the direction of appearance, but our personalities are like oil and water.

I wonder every time, have you read all of these books?
'I only put books on my bookshelf that I've read. Books are not interior design.
'I'm not as well-read as Alina, so I can't say much, but I understand.

Chiho looked at my bookshelf.
Then Chiho picked up a graduation album on the bottom shelf of the bookshelf.

It's your graduation album! Can I see it!
'I'm embarrassed. ......'
'You're going to say you're embarrassed with your good looks? Girls all over the country are going to be furious, aren't they?''
'All right, let's see it: ......'

Chiho sat down on a girl's seat and unfolded the album.
I was embarrassed, but together we looked through the photos again, which were filled with memories of the past three years. I had to laugh at how unhappy I had looked in the first year. I was a problem child among problem children at that time, so I was only in the group photo by chance or by chance. I had so many unhappy faces that I just wanted to squirm.
Things clearly changed when I entered the second grade. I am smiling more and more, and I am aware of the camera's presence in the picture. It must have been after meeting Comet. I don't remember, but he seemed to be having a lot of fun, and I envied him even though it was me.

'Alina hasn't changed at all!
'I'm seventeen forever.
'Your hair looks almost the same as it did in your graduation year. Do you know what a college debut is?
'I know, but I like me best now.'
'Really? Is that because your boyfriend likes Alina now or something?''
'I told you before. I don't have a boyfriend.
'It's strange that Alina can't have a boyfriend in this world~'
'I said no. You can make as many as you want if you want.


'What's that room for? Make one for me!
'I'm kidding. I just don't want it.

I was surprised at the different scale of college students' love lives from those in high school. I was surprised that it was normal to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and I was also surprised that some of them were dating working people.
I often felt that this is what it means to be halfway into society, and at the same time, I often thought that this is what it means to be an adult.

Do you have a boyfriend in high school, Alina?

Her casual words made me nervous.

'No, I don't.'
'Then who is this person? I'm often in the picture with Alina.'

She pointed to Comet.

He's in my class.
''What's your name?''
You're being awfully pushy.'
'Alina's not too keen on the idea either.

Because I don't want to say too much about him. But I think it's funny that I'm so tight-lipped about it.

His name is Comet Sakakiki.
'Sakisui. Oh, wow. Let's see... ......... but... but...?'

She looked for his name. On a page with pictures of alumni.

Hm? Which class? We're in the same class, right?'
'I can't find him anywhere.
'Did you change schools?'
No.'
'Eh, well, that ......'

Chiho paled slightly and her eyebrows furrowed. She had an uneasy expression on her face, as if she had asked something she shouldn't have. I felt sorry for her, so I decided to talk to her.

He is in the hospital. That's why he couldn't graduate.
'Oh yeah ...... poor ......'
'Yes, very much.'
'What kind of disease is it? Will it heal properly?'
'No one knows. Where he is, where he is, what he's thinking. Which words to choose. Even God doesn't know.

It will soon be a year since he went into a coma. Still, I will wait forever.
I haven't gotten an answer from him yet.