I thought the world would change dramatically when I grew up.
I thought that my view of the world, or my view of life, or my view of life, would clearly and visibly change, but I didn't really feel it. On the day I easily turned 20, I celebrated myself by eating a shortcake.
When I think of the things I can do when I turn 20, I immediately think of such tastes as alcohol and cigarettes. So I took a sip of beer, a favorite of adults, but it was not something I could drink at all. It was very bitter and left a strange sensation on my tongue.

(How can you drink such a thing? ......)

With this in mind, I always serve alcohol.
Chiho introduced me to a part-time job at a slightly expensive restaurant famous for its face-painting. Working there, I naturally learn about various kinds of food, regardless of alcohol. When I peek into the kitchen, I can see professionals with serious faces moving their fingers beautifully and breathing life into their dishes. It makes me a little angry that customers who do not know their craftsmanship serve leftovers with a casual look on their faces.

It's sad, isn't it?

I asked him about that between breaks. I wanted to know how they felt about being left with a product they had worked so hard to shape. Though their creations are different, they too are creators who make something out of nothing. I thought that there might be something in common with my ultimate goal in life, which is to be a writer, so I asked them a question, knowing that it would be rude to be rude, and they responded

Cooking is the meaning of my life. If I can make people smile or leave with a happy feeling, I am truly happy. But I'm never completely satisfied with that.
''Why is that?
I've been in this business for more than 20 years now, and I've never made a dish that scored a hundred points. When I'm done cooking and just before I leave my hands to bring it to your table, I take a bird's eye view, just like young kids take a picture with their cell phones before they eat. I wonder what the score will be this time. But I didn't get a perfect score. I'd like to give them a perfect score, but I haven't gotten there yet.

In his mid-forties, he chuckled and scratched his head. I listened to the rest of his story as I ate their makanai and thought, 'How can they be so strict when it's so good?

So I want to get a hundred points before I die. If I made it, I would hesitate to serve it to my guests because it would be too good.
'I wish I could keep it forever. It's sad because once it's in your stomach, it's with you.
'On that note, I like the novelist you're aiming for, Alina. She will remain in the world forever. I bet people in the past never thought that their poems and stories would still be told a thousand years later. But that's how great they are.
'In the extreme, it's great to create.

We all know the saying that breaking something is easy, but few people actually know the weight of it. I was one of them, but I think I was able to touch a glimpse of it through this part-time job. That alone was a great accomplishment.
I started this part time job for the money, but what I got out of it was beyond my imagination, and it made me realize that you can't understand and see things unless you try.

Now that I am a sophomore in college, I have gotten used to life, and in two years I will be starting a new career.
My first priority was to become a writer, so I had no idea where I would find a job. Just as I was starting to get a little impatient, Tsuru asked me at the right time if I wanted to go out for a drink. I received a text message inviting me to join. I immediately said yes, thinking I would ask him for advice even though I do not like to drink alcohol.
I was shocked to see Tsuru, who I had not seen for a long time, with completely dyed brown hair and bright red lipstick.

She asked me, "Have you been sucking human blood?
'I bought the wrong one! I was going to buy a thinner one. ...... It would be a waste not to use it.'
'Be careful not to get caught by a bad man. That's the only thing I'm worried about.

We entered a bar that Tsuru frequented, and she ordered a 'vodka tonic' cocktail, which sounded like a bad idea. I, who did not know much about alcohol, was terrified, so I asked for a 'Kalua Milk,' which sounded gentle. I hoped it was just plain milk.

Cheers to our long-awaited reunion!
'Yes, cheers.

He clinks his glass and takes a sip. Then I understood. This is a drink that looks like milk. And isn't it quite strong?

'Alina, you haven't changed at all!
''I get that a lot.''
'It's more bewitching and more beautiful. ...... Alina is going to be a witch, isn't she? I'm jealous that she doesn't look like she's going to age at all!
'We're not twenty yet. I'm going to be wrinkled like a dried plum, and people will hate me too.
'You're totally prejudiced! Oh, how I wish I had been born with an actress face like Alina's... I wish we could have swapped faces...''

She gets drunk too fast.
But she was a drunkard, despite her tendency to get drunk easily. She did not know how to control it. She ordered a lot of bad-looking cocktails and emptied them quickly. He would have said, 'I'd rather be a worm and clean the soil than be reincarnated in your liver. I must be drunk to even think such a thing.
I asked him what I wanted to ask him before I went under.

How are you going to get a job, Tsuru?
'I'm going to law school! Law school law school! Ho-kaa!
''What's that?''
'I want to be a lawyer.
'What! Why? I didn't expect that!
'That's so cool! My parents are prosecutors, and because of their influence, I've wanted to be one since I was a little girl. So until I pass the bar exam, I can't call myself a working adult yet.
That's great. When I'm in a pinch, I'll have Tsuru defend me.
'I'll do my best to crush them!

I had never heard that she wanted to be a lawyer, so I was surprised when she sobered up. I thought I had understood her unexpectedness in high school because of her mysteriousness, but three years was not enough.

So, what about Alina? Are you job hunting or something?''
I don't think so. I haven't even thought about where I'm going to work.
'Hmmm. Well, Alina has a sleeping prince, right? It's more about marriage than finding a job, right!
'The opposite, the opposite. You're too drunk.


'Why don't you just kiss it! Maybe you'll wake up like in Sleeping Beauty!"
'Someone help ......'
'Don't worry, don't worry! I'll defend you!

She's lost it.

'Is Alina going to the reunion next year?'
'I'm going just in case. I haven't moved my address yet, so I'll be in my hometown for the coming-of-age ceremony.
'Yay! Yay! Yay!'

I decide to cut this short before I end up like her.
If I drink any more, I'm going to vomit and I'll have to handle it.





I liked the watch.
I am strangely attracted to this machine that quietly ticks away, receiving no instructions from anyone, and tells us the time. This does not mean that I am a watch fanatic, nor do I aspire to a luxury wristwatch.
I never liked digital watches. Something is missing, and I don't enjoy it. I like the way the hands move.
Recently, I learned that expensive watches do not tick every second. I can't deny that it's a little late for that, but the smooth movement of the hands is beautiful. But I still like the ticking of a second. It reminds me of the school clock on the wall.

When I heard that there was a store specializing in clocks in my neighborhood, I decided to go and take a look, even though I had no intention of buying one.
It was a store that had everything from brand-name watches to old watches, and it had a unique atmosphere as if the owner had opened it as his hobby. There were many watches ranging from those that looked like something out of a fairy tale to those that looked like something a wealthy person would wear.
One thing you will notice immediately when looking at them is that they are all very different. They have their own time. Few of the clocks point to the current time. Maybe none of them do.
In other words, they are almost always secondhand. Some people may be a bit germaphobic, but from a different perspective, these clocks have spent a certain amount of time in a certain place in the world. What a wonderful place to store.

I was glued to one of the watches.

It was a common clock, a clock that everyone has seen. It was that ordinary black and white clock in the classroom.
The time was 5:05 p.m. It was after school. Dusk in summer, the moon in winter. It happened to point to that time.
At that moment, a heat rose from the center of my chest and spread to every corner of my body. When I realized that I was crying, I realized something else.

I had to tell him.

He twirls the Neapolitan around his fork.
I am putting a knife into a pancake.
This was a memory of the aquarium. That's not all. I remember reading in the art room, almost getting my feet caught in the crimson mermaid line, walking into his room, making chocolate for him.
These memories seem like hallucinations. But they are definitely my memories, my lost memories.

About two and a half years.
I finally have you back.