95 Quiet Story Part 25 - The Heart Of Himself That Th...




 Snow is falling from the dull clouds. More than a month has passed since the dawn of the new year, and a full-blown winter has arrived in the Kingdom of Elgrande, where most of the land is covered with snow. The area where the kingdom's capital is located has a mild climate, thanks to the large lakes and rivers that surround it, and is rarely troubled by the accumulation of snow, even in winter. --However, it still snows frequently.
 It's a good thing that you're not the only one who can't afford to buy a new one. It's not so much ...... that I get the impression that many of the ladies in the household are confused by Shayla's treatment and are keeping her at a distance.

"Don't worry about it, Master Shayla.
'Yes. It's not your fault, Master Shayla. You should be proud of yourself.

 The only people who still treat me the same way are Riddile and Nasha. They take Shayla out when she's feeling down and almost hiding in her room.
 Lidil and Nasha, as well as the maids of honor Rei and Marika, seemed to be worried that Shayla was not aware that she was being harassed by the Red Roses' entourage. Sofia and the others had carefully kept Shayla in check in secluded places before the commotion, so it was not surprising that they did not recognize her. Shayla herself was trying her best to remain unnoticed so as not to cause any worry and not to be a disadvantage to Diana.

 It wasn't just the atmosphere in the palace and among the ladies that changed after that day. The frequent, if not daily, visits from the king stopped.
 The same thing had happened before. At the season's opening soiree, Shayla prodded Juke, and things got awkward between the two (not that they had been harmonious or calm to begin with), and Juke stopped showing up. When Juke suddenly started to visit the named servants, Shayla's own emotions got the better of her and she rejected Juke.
 The only difference between now and then is that before he stopped visiting Shayla's room, Juke delivered a letter to her. The content of the letter was so abstract that it was difficult to imagine what had happened to him, but I could tell from the text that Juke was currently in deep distress.

"I don't deserve Shayla's feelings, nor do I deserve to have them.
And yet, I can't shake the feeling that I love Shayla.
I know now that it's inevitable that Shayla will give up on me. ...... Still, if you think something of me, even just a little bit... I'm not going to tell you the rest of what I said that day.

 If I lose you, I won't know how to live.
 I'm afraid that if I lose you, I won't even know how I should live from now on.

 Sheila's heart ached sharply at the frankly worded letter.
I'm not sure what to say, but I'm sure you'll understand.

 The Red Rose is the one who has the status, talent, and ambition to be the rightful queen.
 Please make the Red Rose your official queen and don't come to this room anymore.

 I was about to say something pretending to be nothing, but my words were interrupted by Juke, who had good intuition. I could barely say, "The Red Rose is worthy of being a queen," but I couldn't say the last word ...... of farewell.
 I was deeply relieved that Juke had refused to say goodbye.
 And knowing that I was relieved, I understood painfully. --You can't give up.

I still feel that the Red Rose, Diana, is more worthy of being a queen than anyone else.
 The descent service brought Juke and Diana closer together, and Juke seems to have realized that Diana is a wonderful person. For Deanna, who is misunderstood by the entire aristocratic society, Juke must have been a special person who understood that the rumors were wrong, and it is no wonder that love has grown out of trust.
 If Deanna is in love with Juke... Shayla would definitely be a hindrance and someone to hate.

 To be resented and hated by someone you respect and admire. It's very painful and difficult.
 But... --Yes, even though I know that.

(I like you, ...... Juke.)

 He's clumsy, but he's kind and cares for others.
 A heart as straight and pure as a child's.
 You never give up, even when you hit a wall.
 The sincerity with which she laments her unworthiness, but strives to face it without running away from it.
 I love Juke, the person who is colored by these things.

 I am saved by his kindness. I'm healed by his purity. Encouraged by his never-give-up attitude.
 I admire his sincerity.
 He laments his inadequacy, his lack, his pettiness... and I want to support him as he is.

 When they first met, Shayla saw Juke as nothing more than a half-fixed idol, a "king. No matter how much Juke said to her, she assumed that he was a king and that he was just taking pity on the poor girl, and did not try to see into Juke's heart. How rude and hurtful that was to him.

"Even kings are human. He can be troubled, he can make mistakes. Wouldn't it be unfortunate for you to be treated like a great person just because you're a king, and not see the true nature of your character?

 --Now I finally understand what my dear friend was really trying to say. I guess the intelligent girl knew everything from the beginning.

She took off her "king" glasses and faced Juke as a human being.
 The more she learned about him, the more she realized that he was far from perfect.
 If you think about it, a thoughtful and perfect king would not have opened a palace that would only be a source of turmoil in the first place. He would have chosen the daughter who would be the most beneficial to the current kingdom as his wife, entrusted her with the management of the inner palace, and would not have allowed the former matriarch to act arrogantly.
 He is impulsive and acts on the spur of the moment. The result is often bad news and disappointment.
 It's fine to be honest, but you're not very good at distinguishing between what's real and what's not.
 For better or worse, Juke is like a child.

 Normally, as you see the flaws in someone, your fondness for them may fade. But for Shayla, the flawed "Juke" was more desirable than the "King" who she thought was perfect.
 He was not an inviolable idol. Sheila's heart was moved by the fact that he was just like her, stumbling, falling, and suffering.

 And. He's not perfect, but he finds himself in a lonely place where perfection is required until death.
 She thought. I want to support him.



The King must be perfect. There is no room for error.
 If you like a perfect king, if you want him to be perfect, you don't have to be his queen. Shayla can be a noblewoman, a vassal, supporting his reign from below.
 But what Shayla likes, what she prefers, is Juke as he is, far from perfect. She wants to support him, and even protect him, even though she knows it is presumptuous to do so .......
If you want to take care of Juke, who is not a king, all in all. Don't be a vassal. You must be in the same place, on the same level as him.
 There's only one person in the world who can do that, in name or in fact. Only one person in the land.
 --The queen.

 Not only is she born into a noble family and possesses the dignity befitting a highborn. She is full of kindness that never abandons those who are in a weaker position, and has the talent to turn things around even in the face of harsh reality, and is full of ambition to protect the future of the kingdom. She also has the courage to stand up to cowards who use her people as shields for their own desires.
 By all accounts, even Shayla's own, there is no daughter more worthy of becoming a queen than Diana. Diana has everything a queen needs.
 I know that. I understand everything, but still...

 She wants to be next to Juke, to support him, to protect him.
 She can't give up her desire to be the queen...

 Softly.
 The snow was still falling on Shayla's shoulders when suddenly, something warm and fluffy was placed on her shoulders. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one who's a fan.

...... You'll catch a cold. You'll catch a cold in those light clothes.
"Dee ......?

 Shayla's best friend, whose face I didn't know. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice her, but before I knew it, she was right next to me.
 It's been a long time since I've seen this friend. She smiled slowly, though her friend behind her couldn't see it.

"Long time no see, Dee. How are you?
...... Yes, I'm fine.

 Dee's voice is somber as she answers, "Fine. Shayla, who had more than a hunch as to the cause, shook her head, careful not to look back.

'It's not your fault, Dee.
It's not your fault, Dee." "...... what are you talking about?
"The thing with Sophia and the others. You care about Sophia and the others, don't you?

 I didn't think it was presumptuous of Dee. She didn't think it was presumptuous of Dee, because her friend was always looking out for her.
 After a moment of silence, Dee let out a long breath.

I've been with Sophia and the others, but... The Red Rose was terrible, too.
"Dee?
"I've been so proud to protect you. I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that. ...... And to top it all off, the Red Rose has been very polite to you.

 I'm not sure what to make of that.
 Dee's voice was unusually clear and trembling.

 It is true that on the day when Juke saw her meeting with Sophia and the others, Shayla expressed her gratitude and apology to Deanna for rushing in and putting the situation to rest. She also said that she adored Deanna, to let her know that if something were to happen to her in the future regarding the position of queen, it would not be because she hated her or saw her as an enemy.
 To all of this, she - Deanna - responded politely. Not only that, but she even had a maid in her room to take care of Shayla.
It had never occurred to Shayla that the Red Rose had treated her badly until now. She was rather sorry that she was the one who was causing her pain by wanting more than she deserved.

 Shayla smiled softly at her gentle friend behind her, who shivered.

"You have done nothing wrong, Master Diana.
No, she didn't. I'm sure you're not the only one who can't protect yourself. ......
I'm not worthy of her protection in the first place.
Shayla!

 She reached out to Dee, who was angry, and patted him on the arm.

"Don't be mad. I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way.
I'm not trying to belittle myself." "What do you mean then, ......?
I mean, who doesn't love a rival?

 A little.
 Just a little bit nervous.
 You do your best to look behind you, to avoid being noticed.

"Love ......? Who's who?

 --No matter how you ask or think about it, there's a refreshingly pure hundred percent confusion coming from behind you.

I am Master Diana's.
"Why? Shayla likes you, doesn't she?
If Deanna likes you too, then we're enemies in love.
Wait a minute! ...... It's true that His Majesty and the Red Rose seem to be on good terms right now. I'm sure you're not the only one who has a problem with that.


That's what His Majesty told me, but... But if Deanna-sama is aware of Your Majesty's feelings and is keeping her love alive...

 She immediately denied it, saying, "No, no, no. ......

I'm not sure what to do, but I'd like to know what you think. Isn't that indeed the case?
"I'd like to think so, but ...... Your Majesty, I'm not very good at judging what's real and what's not.
I'd like to think so, but ...... Your Majesty, I'm not very good at knowing what's real and what's not.
I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'm sure it's a good idea.
I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what's going on. I think they're mistaken. It's nothing to worry about.
...... Also, at the New Year's Eve party, Diana looked different than ever. She was always beautiful, but she seemed to glow from within. The air she wore was somehow soft, and she looked ...... happy.

 The most important reason why I couldn't believe His Majesty's words that it was an act, and couldn't dismiss Sophia's words as a lie.
 If you're not sure what you're looking for, you can always ask for help.
 Slowly, fear began to creep up from beneath my feet.
 I took a deep breath, unable to bear the silence.

"Di.
"Dee," she said, "you're right. It was different than before.

 It's not a light voice, it's a voice that says, 'I just noticed.
 The response was different from what I had expected, and the words I was about to say stopped.
 The voice I heard had a wry smile on it.

I see. Maybe that was part of it.
"Dee ......?
Oh, I'm sorry, I meant here. ...... You know, Shayla.

 One word at a time, one word at a time. "As Shayla would say.

As Shayla says, it's true that the atmosphere at the Red Rose may have changed after the service, rather than the New Year's Eve ...... party.
Isn't that right?
But it's too early to assume that the reason is 'love for His Majesty'.

 You can't know that unless you ask her, right?
 That's what my best friend says, easily and with difficulty.
 Thinking for a moment, Shayla asked.

"What about Dee?
"Hmm?
"Does Dee think that the change in Deanna has nothing to do with you?
Yes. ....... I don't think it has anything to do with you at all. I don't think it has anything to do with you at all, but from the way you've been acting, I'm sure your relationship with the Red Rose has improved. I'm sure Shayla knows more about that than I do.
Yes, I do.
In the event that the Red Rose is auspicious enough to give up her true love,......, or even if she does love you, if it's a feeling that you can pass on to someone else, I don't think Shayla has to hold back.

 Dee's words made Shayla feel somewhat uncomfortable. Dee's words made Shayla feel somewhat uncomfortable. In the past, she had been Shayla's confidante, but she had never actively talked about love. In a way, her advice had been very fair and from a detached perspective: "It's a feeling I don't understand.
 But now you're saying. It's as if she herself doesn't know what she feels.
 It's as if she herself knows the feeling and can therefore imagine it. --It's as if she knows what she's feeling and can therefore imagine it.

"Dee ......

 I had to be careful not to shake my voice as I called out to her.
 In the midst of her spinning thoughts, a simple question came to mind.

"Does Dee like you?

 I know.
 I know that my best friend behind me may not show her face, may hide things from me, but she never lies.
 If you ask her seriously, she will answer you properly and sincerely.

"......, right. As a human being, I like that.

 After a moment of silence, she said quietly, as if she had realized something.
 Shayla gasped, then laughed.

But it's not the kind of 'like' that Shayla has for you.
"...... Really? Because...
No, no, no. No. ...... No, I know.

 A whispering voice. Only Shayla could hear it, but it was full of conviction.
 Shayla knew exactly what the short words meant.

 Dee must have found it. A special "like".
 And that's why I can assure you.
 Her feelings for you are not 'love'.

 The words of her best friend penetrate Shayla's heart more deeply than any other comfort or encouragement.
 --That day. An outlandish thought that came so naturally to her when she saw her.
"No way," she dismissed, "it's impossible. I've tried not to think about it.


 If that idea is the right one... At worst, I might have to trade the most important person in the world for my love. I didn't want to think about that horrible future even if I had to.

 But... My best friend, Dee, told me. She told me.
Her heart, a taboo subject for a chambermaid. --She told me to trust Shayla, to make her feel better.
 Shayla had no choice but to doubt her.

"Thank you, ....... I'm sorry, Dee. I'm sorry I asked you such a weird question.
"Yeah, ...... and that's fine, but... What's going on, Shayla?
Yeah. --I just realized something.
You noticed? Realized what?

 --I'm ready to tell my best friend.

I want to be next to you, at your side, supporting you. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm going to do it. I don't want to hand over that role to ...... even if it's to the Red Rose.

 I realized that I was thinking that.
 Before I could finish, I was hugged tightly from behind.

"Great, Shayla! It must have been really hard for you to realize, admit, and make up your mind.
"Dee.
"But thank you. I knew you'd choose that path, not because someone told you to, but because you were honest with yourself. I admire your courage.

 That's not just gleeful exultation. It's a compliment of the highest order.
 I'm a little scared of what I look like to my best friend.

"Oh, relax, Dee. I want to be, and I don't want to give it up, but the reality is, I'm not worthy of the position at all.
"Why not?
...... Her Majesty's side belongs to the queen. A queen should have status, dignity, social skills, political ability, and also ...... a heart of compassion for her people and noble aspirations. If you're looking for the best of the best, you're going to have to go with the best.
I'm sure you'll be able to find something that works for you. If you work hard now, you can make it in a couple of years!
"What about your ...... identity?
It's not like you can't do anything with it. I mean, there's no clause in this country's law that defines the status of a queen. It's just customary to choose a daughter of a count or higher.

 As expected of Dee. You know so much about the law that only officials involved in political affairs know.
 But that wasn't the only problem.

I'm sorry you're so happy.
Is there anything else?
There is. --In the current palace, my aspiration to become queen will only lead to national disaster.

 Yes. A queen is more than just the king's wife.
 A queen is not only the wife of the king, but also a politically important person who can determine the future of the country.

The reason why the palace is somewhat calm right now is because Diana-sama is organizing the Red Rose Faction to confront Peony-sama. I can't replace you, Deanna. I can't be brave enough to fight back when ...... Peony-sama tells me to go to war.
"Ah, well, shura is the number of occasions. ...... Hmm?

 Behind me, Dee was silent for three seconds.

"Shayla, what do you mean Master Peony has started a war?
What? Oh, at the New Year's Eve party. We exchanged gifts, didn't we?
Yes, of course I remember.
I got lost after that. I was wandering around and I heard voices talking. I came up to her to ask her how to get back to the venue, and there she was, Miss Peony.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
"Don't worry, she didn't notice me. It's okay, Peony-sama didn't notice me. ...... You seem to be busy with your story, or rather, your meeting.

 It's a good thing that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this. I'll reveal it to her.
 Even though I couldn't see her face, I could see that Dee was stunned.

"You mean you were talking to a guy at ......?
It wasn't just talking, though.
Wow.
I told the other guy that I was in a weaker position after Diana showed up ....... Then he consoled me and said, "......".

 The scene was very mature. To be honest, that scene is very stimulating for a beginner in love.


 Blushing slightly, Shayla shook her head.

As I said before, I was lost. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get back to the venue if I follow Peony-sama, so I followed her after she left the guy. I followed her after she left the man. ...... Then I saw her enter an unknown room.
...... Did you peek out of curiosity?
I'm sorry.

 The best friend sighed deeply.

I'm glad you didn't find me, but please don't do anything dangerous. Even if you're quiet now, she'll still think you're in her way.
That may be so, but...
If anything happens to you, I'll never forgive myself. ...... so please, promise me.

 These sincere words went over my back and directly into my heart.

You have to take care of yourself. No matter what happens next, I want you to be prepared to protect your life.
"Dee. ......
Please, Shayla.
...... Yeah, okay. I promise.

 I could see Dee's relief at Shayla's words.
 You can see Dee's relief at Shayla's words, and as she smiled, a murmur escaped her.

"By the way, Shayla. I'm sure you've seen the face of the man who was meeting Master Peony.
The face was ...... too far away for me to see it clearly.
It doesn't matter. Is there anything you can remember?
Well, you were ...... young. I don't think you were over thirty. He was taller than Master Peony. ......

 Shayla suddenly remembered something she had thought was unusual at the time.

"Hair.
"Hair?
"Her hair was an unusual color. Red and silver, I think it's called. It was a metallic red, but unlike red gold, it was pale. It was long, so it stood out even more.

 I remember how beautiful it looked in the moonlight.
 I remember it was beautiful in the moonlight. ...... Dee seemed to be thinking about something.

I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but it's a good idea. I'm sure you have a baronetcy.
A red and silver haired man in his twenties with a baronetcy ......?
"......." "Does that help?
That's very, very valuable information.
Well, good.

 I'm glad I could be of service to my dear friend.
 Just as I was relieved, I suddenly felt a strong wind blowing. --The cold made me shiver.
 As if in a panic, Dee said.

I can't. I thought I was coming to warn Shayla not to get too cold, but I accidentally got caught up in the conversation.
"Oh, no. It's not my fault that I was lost in thought.
But still, back, back!

 She grabbed me by the shoulders and made me turn around to face the building. I chuckled at her forcefulness.

Oh, and here's the shawl: ......
"Oh, that's okay, I knitted it in my spare time. You can return it to me next time we meet.

 ...... The knitting is terribly neat for something knitted for fun, and the patterned hem is magnificent. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was knitted by a professional craftsman. I'm really amazed at my friend's skill.

...... I'll borrow it then. Dee, don't stay too long, okay?
Thank you. There's going to be a small party at the palace before the season's soiree. Let's take care not to catch a cold.

 Such a notice had been sent to me. The official date will be decided later, but since the season's closing soiree is at the end of this month, it means that all the ladies and the king will have a chance to get together at least this month.

(...... I want to see you)

 (I want to see him.) Shayla thought as she was seen off by her best friend and returned to her room.

 (I want to see her.) As she walks back to her room after being seen off by her best friend, Shayla thinks of that person who must be struggling so hard right now.
 I'd like to be a part of it.

(I want to talk to her face.)

 It's not just a letter.
 ...... is not enough.

 --I'm sure Shayla won't be satisfied anymore.