236-Remembrance 14 Estella




All the work that had been piling up has disappeared.
Well, maybe 'gone' is not the right word. The problem was that I had been accumulating them. ......

'...... Is it that time already?

I've been in my room all day, immersed in my work since morning. ...... No, in the middle of the day, for no reason at all, I shouted, 'Petanko! But other than that, I've been working in this room all day, although I did go in to complain to Natalia, who started a fight with me by shouting, "Flat!

As I stretched my arms above my head, my spine made a cracking sound.

The final bell had rung two hours ago. It was now eighteen o'clock.
That means I'm hungry. I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch today.

'...... You're hungry even at a time like this, aren't you?

Yashiro forgot my name.
That's not all. ...... Maybe he knows my name. ......

'That's not possible.'

I drowned out the words that had just popped into my head.
It can't be true only for Yashiro.
I'm not sure what to do.

But ...... Regina said it was a 'nasty evil plant'.
Regina had a difficult expression on her face. ............

'......Are you sure you're okay ............?

While I was immersed in my work, I was also making preparations.
If Jashiro came to see me, I would always stop working and meet him.

I was sure that he would come to see me, to fix my memory.
...... But Yashiro never came to see me.

The sun will be setting soon.

Maybe ............Yashiro already knows about me. ............ ......

'............!

I raise my chin, chalking up my rapidly sinking feelings to hunger.

I'm not going to cry.
I'm not going to cry.

I made a vow that day.
I would be strong.
I'm not going to let Yashiro carry the load alone.

The gluttony contest.

My negligence had caused a rift with District 41, and Yashiro had fixed it. It's not only that, but it has created a stronger connection than ever before.
...... at the cost of his own life.
In a way that makes you bear all the malice alone.


My tears ran ...... dry then.


There's no more tears for me to shed.
There's no time for tears. I'm a lord. I'm the lord. I made the decision and I did it.

All right!Let's go have dinner!

...... Maybe Yashiro will be there. With such a faint hope in my heart.
I decide to head to the sunlit pavilion.

The only thing I'm afraid of is ......

What if I'm the only one who's been forgotten?

What if everyone is back to normal and I'm the only one ...... forgotten?
I'm not sure if I should have been so absorbed in my work. Maybe I should have been more proactive in going to see Yashiro!
Maybe that's how everyone else is remembered by now. ......!

......Maybe Yashiro didn't want me. ............

'......!What are you talking about?

I'll put my own cheek on it.

Don't spoil it.
That's not what I'm saying. ......

What you should be most afraid of is ...... that Yashiro will suffer alone.
The most important thing you should fear is that Yashiro will suffer alone, that he will bear the burden alone, that he will strain for us.

I'm not going to let you make the same mistake over and over again. ...... I'm so angry!I'm really pissed off at myself for being so bad. ............ I'm really pissed off. ......


I'm not sure what I'm doing,......, but it's really ...... disgusting.

This is a great way to make sure you are getting the most out of your time in the office.
If I were to disappear into the darkness like this,...... would Yashiro be worried about me,......, I thought to myself again, stupidly.

'Estella-sama. Are you going out?

As I left the room, Natalia called out to me.

'Oh, yes. I'm going to the Sunken Pavilion.
'I see. The sun is going down, so please be careful. I can't accompany you because I have a report on the water leak repair.'

So you were able to fix the leak. ...... I'm glad.

'Don't worry. The streets are bright.'

I'm not a weak woman who needs protection.


And the bricks of light that illuminate the streets are one of the benefits that Yashiro has brought to this city. The beautifully landscaped streets and the sewers that run through the city are all part of ......
So when I walk along the streets, I feel as if ...... Yashiro is protecting me.
Even if he is not there, you know.

With Yashiro, I can be as strong as I want to be.

Walking the streets at night is no problem for me now.
I'm not afraid of anything.
What I'm really afraid of is ...... disappearing.

'Estella, this way.

Gently, Natalia holds out a handkerchief.
I wonder if she's noticed the ...... swelling on my cheek.

Natalia really is ...... a very attentive and dependable head waiter.

'Thank you. I'll use it.'

I bite down on my embarrassment and take the handkerchief offered to me.
It is a little thick and large. It is a manly handkerchief that does not fit Natalia's image.
Natalia, do you have a handkerchief like this?

'It's Master Yashiro's handkerchief.
'What?
'Please, feel free to smother it.
'No, I won't!
'No, sir. Since you said earlier that you would let me use it, it would be a lie if you didn't use it properly!
'No, in the first place!Why does Natalia have Yashiro's handkerchief?
'It's for kunkunkanka, what is it?
'What is it? No, it's not!We have a problem!

I'd like to think that you didn't steal it. ......

'It's something I got from my pocket when we bumped into each other before.
'You're stealing from me!It's a pickpocket, pickpocket!
'I gave it to you instead, so you can say it's an equivalent exchange.
'You can't say that!

What should I do? My head waiter is on his last legs. ......
I shouldn't have called him the witty, reliable head waiter!

'Was it wrong?
'Of course I shouldn't!
'Then go give it back to Master Yashiro.
'Eh, .......'
'I still have paperwork to repair the leak, so I can't leave here.'
'...... Natalia.'

You can ...... give me an excuse to go see Yashiro. ............

I'm sure she's very concerned about me,......, isn't she?
Haha. I can't compete with that. ............ d*mn, I'm going to cry.

'I'm busy, so please go poke around.
'I think you need to re-educate yourself on your attitude towards your lord!

I know. I don't know how much of this is a joke because you say it with a straight face.
...... Ever since she met Yashiro, Natalia has been going in strange directions. ...... I think we might need to hold her accountable for this.
Yes!That's right!


...... Let's talk to Yashiro.


I want to hear his voice .......


'......I'll be there.'

My cheeks heat up at the pure wish that just popped into my brain.
What are you thinking about? You're not a girl in love. ......

I walked quickly down the corridor and exited the building.
You walk with your feet in the garden, call out to the gatekeeper, and leave the grounds.
As you walk down the street, just before you reach the main road, you suddenly stop in your tracks.

............ I wonder if anyone will see me here?

He squeezes the thick handkerchief in his hand.
............ just a little ...... just a little ...... ...... kun kun kun ......

'Yo, I knew you'd come out.
I'm not sure what to say.

My heart screamed as someone called out to me from behind.

When I turned around, there was the person who should not be seen in the act I was about to perform.

'Yah, yah, yah, yah, yah!What, why are you here?
'No, no. It's almost dinner time. I thought you might be going to the cafeteria, but I guess you ...... hit the nail on the head.'

You were waiting for me at ......, weren't you?

'So, what were you going to do with the handkerchief?
'Oh, my God!

Yashiro is looking at me with a grin.


............ d*mn it. You look like you know everything!

'Hey, here!Natalia told me to give it back to you, so I did!
'Oh, yeah...'
'Yes, really!I don't care if you cast the Judgment of the Spirits on me.

I'm not lying about anything.
I'm not lying about anything. ...... Attempted kunkanka is safe because it's not a lie!

I'm not going to put a judgment of the spirit on you.

I'm not sure what to say.


I know this feeling ....... ............
I don't want to lose it, I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose this time with Yashiro, ...... this look he gives me.

I'm afraid of losing it.

That's it. You called me many times when we first met.

That's why he swears and sulks like that.
In this way, I hide my shallow expectation that Yashiro will be kind to me.

'At the time, I didn't really understand the Judgment of the Spirits. You know what I mean. When you've just learned something, you just want to try it, right?It was like that.
'It was unbearable for me to have to deal with such things. Even when you know it's going to be okay, it's still pretty scary, the Judgment of the Spirits.
I'm sorry. But you put it on me too, so we're even, right?
'Yashiro had one more than me!

I'm not sure what to do.
...... What is this?
I'm not sure how long I've been like this.

...... Is that a given?


I've been like this since I met Yashiro.


'Well, I'll do you a favor. And that's it?
'One favor?Anything at all?'
'No. I'll decide what you ask for.
'What's that?

I've never heard of the person asking for a favor deciding what to ask for.

'I'll do it. I already have a new one.'

He pointed at the handkerchief I was holding.

'I want you to smother it.
'No, I won't!
'You wanted to, didn't you?
'No, of course not!
'Well, am I allowed to play "Judgment of the Spirits"?
'Oh, dear!No, not now! ...maaaahhh!I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this.I'm not sure what to say.

That's it!That's why ...... you're such a jerk!

I'm not sure what to do.
I've got a handkerchief in my hand, and when I look up at my face, I can smell the faint scent of Yashiro. ...... Mwah!I'm not sure what to do.

It's a good idea to have a good idea of what you're doing.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.You mean when you were soaking wet and I borrowed your bed for a bit so you wouldn't catch a cold!
'Yes, yes. That's when you said 'kunkunka' .......'
'Don't say kunkunka!

That's outrageous!
Why do you remember so many unimportant things?
If you can remember so many unimportant things so vividly, why can't you remember ............ my name?

'...... Hey. What you asked me to do. Can't you just let me decide?

There's something I really need you to do for me.
And yet ......

'No.'

Yashiro rejects it out of hand.

...... What the ............ hell, why don't you just listen to me for once in your life?
You're always joking, always hiding your true feelings,......, and always doing things to make me feel better,............. What do you want me to do? ............

He told me to be strong. ...... He told me not to cry. ............ He told me not to bother you... ...when I'm working so hard. ............

'No. ...... I'm going to ask you to do what I want you to do. ......
'No.'


'Why not?

I couldn't take it anymore, and when I tried to get at Yashiro, he ...... hugged me.
It was not the usual light skinship of a pat on the head, but a ...... firm, hot, embrace, like that of two lovers.... ...

You can hear Yashiro's breathing in your ear. ......

His arms are naturally trying to lift up ...... and he wants to hug Yashiro ......
It's not just a one-way hug, but a hug from me as well......
But I don't have the courage to do that. ............ I don't know if I can do that. ......... ...

You don't do me any favors,......, so why are you doing this?
I don't understand ...... anymore. ............

'I don't ...... understand why ...... I don't ......,......... ...ugh!

The words I thought were crushed in my throat and wouldn't come out right.
I'm not sure what to say, but I'm going to say it.

My heart was in pain, and when I breathed in, a high-pitched, scratchy sound like a scream escaped.

'What you're asking me to do...'

I hear a quiet voice in my ear.
Slowly, accurately, not a single word leaks out, carefully ...... Yashiro's voice pours into my heart to deliver it to my heart.

I'm not sure what to do, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it.

So ...... don't ask me to do that. ......?

'I have a favor to ask you to fulfill. It's more profitable to ask for a different one than the one you've already committed to.'
'What's ............, that's ......'.

I'm sure you'll be able to figure out the best way to get the most out of it. ............ Are you sure you can't ...... think of things in terms of profit and loss?
That's what I'm talking about. ...... That's what I'm talking about. ............


You're really a yeshiva, you know that?


'Hey ......'.

It's so frustrating ......
It's a simple thing that makes me ...... truly happy. ............
I can't believe how soothing the warmth of Yashiro is. ...... I'm so frustrated.

I'm so frustrated that I want to spoil Yashiro and annoy him too. ......

'How do I get you to remember my name?

Wow, ...... I can make such a sweet voice. ......
It's so weird.

'If you reminisce about the past, maybe you can remember. For example, ...... you could tell me the color of your nipples?'
'I've never taught you that, have I?'
'Or bury your face in your cleavage.'
'I've never had cleavage, I'm afraid. ......'
'Where I come from, we have a culture of "guessing", and even if you're flat, if you're bare skin to bare skin, it's still a good time. ......'
'Yashiro ............ stab you?

I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one who's a bit of a joker. ...... You're always joking, even at times like this. .................. I'm joking, right?

'Don't you just love ...... big breasts?Mine are ......'
'You idiot!There's no such thing as high or low breasts!
'...... Did you think you said something nice?

I'm starting to feel like a fool for sticking around.
I think it's time for you to let go. ......

'I like your breasts.
'Huh?

What are you doing?What's the matter with you, you're just a little bit too happy with this kind of s*xual harassment. ......
...... d*mn. I'm glad you're happy, d*mn it!

'Easy to play with.
I'm glad you're not too happy about it.

I swear I'm gonna stab you.

'It's fun to talk to you, you know.'
'Go to .............'

Yashiro's arms tighten.
It's a bit ...... painful, as if Yashiro, who is bigger than me, is covering me.
But it's not ............ unpleasant.

It was as if Yashiro was holding on to me. ...... I could feel him trembling a little, and I wondered ............ why. ............ I can't stand it, I love it.

'....... Can you just listen to me for a minute?
'............ Hmm. Okay.'

I reply to the voice in my ear.
I can't see his face.
All I can make out is a voice a little more unreliable than usual, Yashiro's scent, and ...... his body heat.

I gently close my eyelids and surrender to all that Yashiro has to offer.

My arm naturally lifted up and I was ...... stroking Yashiro's back.

'When I talk about my breasts, you always get pissed off.
'I'm not pissed off. I'm just correcting a factual error.'
'And then you get angry and sulk, and sometimes you let your guard down and laugh at me. ......'
'It's really tiring. Being with you.'
'That's what I like about ...... you, I guess.'
'..................I see.'

'...... Oh. I don't know why I'm crying. ...... I don't know why I'm so happy. ...... I'm supposed to be saying the dumbest things right now.



'I don't want to forget you: ......'
'Yeah......'
'............ deep down, that's what I thought.'
'..................mm'

My heart is racing. ......
The world shimmers ......

Everything but Yashiro was disappearing from the world: ............

'I was scared ...... to see you, to talk to you, ...... if I couldn't remember ......... ...I couldn't go and see you.
'............'.

Yashiro............
No, Yashiro. ............

Don't make me cry. ...... I won't be able to answer you properly.

'Did I keep you waiting?
'......!

I wanted to say that I didn't, but the words were stuck in my chest and wouldn't come out.
So I shook my head as best I could.
I'm not sure what to do.

'.................. good'.

I let out a long, very long ...... breath.
How anxious were you, ............Yashiro............?

'I won't get ...... mad at you, ............ just in turn. ...... You're an idiot, you know that? ......'

In the event that you have any questions regarding where by and how to use the internet, you can contact us at our own web site.
I'm not sure what to do, but I'm going to do it.

'N...... that's not what I meant.'
'N......?'

I've never thought it would be so difficult to say a word.
Right now, I was doing my best to make the least amount of noise possible.

My ears, my mind, my ...... heart are all waiting for Yashiro's words.

The next thing I know, I'll be hearing Yashiro's voice. ............


'Estella'.


...... No. I can't hold this back.


'I remembered your name ............ properly, thank God.'


......tears............!

'......a............!

...... spills.

'Yashiroo!'

The arm that was grabbing his clothes is now firmly embedded in Yashiro's body.
Closer. So that I can feel Yashiro even closer!

'Too late, ......!You're late, Yashiro!How long are you going to keep me waiting?
'Bad .......'
'I'll never forgive you!
'Then how can you forgive me?
'You'll have to do me one favor, anything I ask!
'Oh, a handkerchief?I'll do it. You can smolder all you want.'
'What?No, I won't!
'Oh, yeah?
'Yes, I do!
'Because you're ............ making a lot of sniffing noises right now.

When I was told that my nose was ...... twitching, ...... I finally realized what I was wearing.
Burying my face in Yashiro's neck, ...... I'm sure I'm sniffing him. ............ No, because... ...because Yashiro's scent is soothing: ........................ I'm not sure what to say.

Ha, get off me!Ecchi!'
'Huh!You're the one who's clinging to me! You're the one who's clinging to me!
'I'm not clinging to you!

He stretches out his arms and moves away from Yashiro at once.

You can still smell Yashiro's scent all over your body even when your body is separated.
...... Muaaah!My face is hot!

'...... You've got a bright red face.'
'No, you don't!The one with the red face is Yashiro, right?
'Ha, ha!I'm...!That's it!The herb!Yes!I was a little nervous because the herb was messing with my memories!I'm not sure what to do....... Oh, look!It's a seed!It's all his fault!It's not like I wanted to hug him!



And show me a tiny, tiny seed.
It's not manly to blame such a small thing!

'I was only comforting you because you were crying!
'You're the one who was crying, aren't you?
'I wasn't crying!
'You were!I'm going to apply the Spirit's Judgment!
'Go ahead, try it!

We stared at each other .......

We stare at each other with , but I instantly feel embarrassed.

What are we doing?

'......More............ this time, it's because of the demon grass,......I mean, forget it. I'll let you forget about it, but ...... next time, don't hug a woman so carelessly!
I know, I know!

He let out a ...... sigh.
I'm sure we'll be able to have a normal conversation again like before.


I'm a nobleman, a lord.
I can't ...... think about those things right now.

'Well, I think I'll go home.
'Hey. Aren't you going to the cafeteria?'
'I'm done for the day.

I don't think I'll be able to finish my meal.

'I'll walk you home if you want.
'No, thanks. It's light on the street.
'I don't think that's the point.
'Besides, I'm stronger than you.'
'That's not the point.

I start walking, and Yashiro follows me.
You're the one who's afraid of the streets at night.

I'm fine. At least at night.

But Yashiro keeps following me.

'I'm fine!
He doesn't like me!
'You're selfish!
'Yes, you are.'

He's got a point. What a guy.

'Girls don't like pushy guys, you know?What are you going to do, you're not even popular.'
'Shut up.

Then he lined up next to me and said this without looking at me.

I'd rather be hated by other women than let you go home alone.

............ That's a bit ............ unfair, isn't it?
At a time like this, ...... at a time like this, ............ such words ...... ......

I'm not sure what to do.

...... I can't look at you anymore.
What the heck is that? ...... What the heck is Yashiro doing? ............


In the end, Yashiro followed me all the way to the gate, and when I passed through the gate, he said, "See you later," and left.


............ Yashiro.
I'll come see you the day after tomorrow. Let's have a more normal conversation then.

...... Tomorrow, I can't. I'm too embarrassed and I'm not sure I can look him in the face. ............


After returning to my room, I remembered that I had Yashiro's handkerchief in my hand. ...... I had to struggle with my inner desires all night.