36-Episode 36   Trial

'Ars, I knew you guys were hiding something.

 My father walks towards me, looking me in the eye.

'For the most part, I had an idea that something must have happened to Governor Meesian. I just thought that if you didn't rest, there was a chance that you might die and you might grow up, so I kept you quiet until now. But I can't let you go into battle now. I'm not going to be able to say that I'm not going to be able to do anything about it. I'll go here.

 That kind of father had the look that a determined person would have on his face. I feel that he will never change his conclusion that he will go to the battlefield.

 However, if I let my father go to the battlefield here and his illness worsens, it would be unfashionable. He might die.

'Your father is ill now. He will not be sent to fight.
If he's sick, he's much better. If he's sick, he's much better.
What if it gets worse? You could die.
'I'm not going to die. And even if I did die, I would hope to die to be able to protect Canale County and this Randolph.

 I don't know what I could have told him. My father is definitely willing to go to war.
 It's true that his condition is getting better, so there's a chance that he won't die if he goes into battle now.
 But there's no chance he'll get worse and die. It's a disease that we have no knowledge of at all, so we have to think carefully about it. I can't just let my father die.

 I have to convince him somehow.
 My father has come to stop me from leading the troops because he thinks I am not strong enough. It's true. However, I must convince him that it is safe for me to lead the troops here at all costs.

''Raven-sama, Ars-sama........''

 As Rietz began to speak.

"You shut up!

 My father blackmailed him. When he said that, Rietz had to keep his mouth shut.

''Father, I have been practicing warfare in a mock battle. It's true that my abilities are still poor, but I'm sure I'll fight bravely!
Did you do well in that mock battle? You're not fighting. I didn't see it, but I know it. You are not yet a warrior's face, Ars.

 What is the face of a warrior? I wondered if my father, a warrior of long standing, would know what it was.

Yes, he does. I'll give you a test. There's something I forgot all about when I got sick. Grar, is that thing you put in jail still alive?

 My father asked an older soldier named Gullah.

'Yes, yes, I'm keeping you alive. It would be a bad idea to execute you without Master Raven's life.
I'm going to do it now. Bring him in.
Hey, hey!

 Grah ran hurriedly to the prison.
 What is my father going to do? He said it was a test or something.

 A few moments later, Grah brought in a dirty looking bearded man with handcuffs in place.

'Who's that man?'
'That man is Balamoda. He is a villain who has committed many crimes in the village, murdering, raping, stealing and many other crimes. I caught him before he fell ill. I was going to throw him in jail for a while and execute him, but because of his illness, I completely forgot to execute him. Now that's what I'm going to do. You will see to it.
Is that the test?
'Oh, but in looking, do not be disturbed at all, but maintain your composure. If you look away, meditate, tremble, feel like throwing up, or otherwise show any agitation, you are disqualified. On the battlefield, the death of others is a normal part of life. If you are upset about it, you are not qualified to go into battle. This is a matter of leadership and ability to fight. I'm going to admit that you are a man of your caliber if you are not upset by his death and I will leave you in charge of this battle and stay in the house.

 Don't get upset when you see someone die.
 I don't know if I can. Me.
 I've grown up never having been to a battlefield before, and I've never seen anyone get killed.

 I've seen images of dead bodies in a previous life just out of curiosity, but the images made me nauseous, and I decided never to see them again.

 How can I keep my cool when I'm about to watch someone being executed?

 The preparations for the execution are carried out in an unhurried manner.

 A wooden decapitation stand is placed and the head of Balamoda is placed on it. Balamoda flails and resists, but the soldiers hold him down and prevent him from moving.
 Then the soldiers stand beside the decapitation with an iron axe.

'I execute the execution of Barramoda the criminal in the name of Raven Rovent.

 As my father said this, the soldier raised his iron axe and swung it in a straight line at Barramoda's neck.

 A large amount of blood sprayed out of Barramoda's neck and his head rolled to the ground in a tumble.

 I was violently shaken and my heart beat faster at the sight of the horrific scene.
 I couldn't let my father realize how upset I was.
 I managed to keep a blank expression on my face and continued to look at Balamoda's head.
 Balamoda's head stopped just as he looked at me. That lifeless expression caught my eye.

 As soon as I saw it, my turmoil reached its peak, and an intense feeling of nausea came over me.

 I couldn't hold it in.
 I didn't throw up, but I gasped.

'You're disqualified,'

 My father told him with a calm look on his face.

'It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I was the same way. But a person who is upset by this level of anxiety cannot command a real battle. This time I'll go after all.
You are a child in your manners, but you are still a child. He's not ready for battle. What? Don't worry. I'm not going to die.

 No, I am a middle-aged man inside, not a child. I wanted to scream that, but I couldn't.
 I couldn't, because in terms of tolerance for human death, I had grown up in a peaceful environment and was on the same level as a child.

 I couldn't say anything else, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

 After that, my father left for the battlefield and I was left in the mansion to wait for the report.