37-Episode 37 Reality

 As for the circumstances of the battle, Rietz sent me letters from time to time, so I, who was in the mansion, had some understanding of the circumstances of the battle.

 It's not that the enemy army is so large that it can't compete with us, but it seems to be about 1.5 times larger than Canale's army.

 It was expected to be a difficult battle, and in fact, the early battles were hard fought.

 However, in the end, the army of Rovent, led by my father, did a great job in driving the enemy back.

 The battle lasted about four months, and it wasn't until four days after my twelfth birthday, on August 12, that my father and his family returned home.

 After returning to the house, my father seemed to be doing well for a while, but about five days later his illness suddenly worsened.

 He became bedridden, his coughing stopped, and his food became thinner and thinner.
 Because he didn't eat, he couldn't maintain his body shape, and as time went on, he gradually became thinner and thinner.

 Finally, one day, after about a month, the doctor told me that I would never get better. I didn't know when, but the day was not far off when he would die, he said.

 I was responsible for my father's death.

 If I had been able to convince him at that time that I was capable of leading the troops on the field of battle, he might have been able to rest in the house and his illness would not have worsened.

 I tried to do something about it, and I sought out other doctors to see my father.

 But no matter which doctor I saw, the answer was the same.

 I couldn't give up and looked for a doctor.

 I may not have been able to see my father as my real father because of my memories of my past life.
 Still, it is a fact that I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for my father. Without my father, of course I would not have been born, and I would not have been able to live as well as I have, thanks to him, to have been able to live a comfortable life.

 It should never have happened that my father died because of me.

It didn't happen again.

 It is now the second of November, and summer is just beginning.

 The doctor who had brought me from the next crowd had declared that there was nothing more he could do.

'I guess we'd better get to a bigger town. Rietz, let's go to Arcantes, the capital of Mythian, and find a doctor.

 The doctor didn't send his men to find him; he went himself.
 This is because those who are trained in medicine have a high probability of being highly intelligent, so the risk of grabbing a bush doctor is lower if I go there.

'Master Ars........'

 Reetz looks like he wants to say something when he hears my suggestion.

'What's up?'
'Alcantez is very far from here. It will take me 20 days to get there and back. Considering the time it takes to find a doctor there, etc., it will take even longer to come back.
'I see. But even if it's a little far away, it's nothing for my father. I just don't feel comfortable leaving the mansion for long, so you'll stay behind this time. If you take someone to guard you, you can take Roselle's two brothers or Charlotte as your escort, you should be fine.
'Not really. If you're saying it's going to take a long time... well... um...

 Rietz is having a hard time saying it.

'Is that a hard thing to say? Don't hesitate to tell me.
''If you spend too much time looking for it, Master Ars may not be able to take care of Master Raven's end when the time comes.

 My heart jumped when I heard that.

 It was something I had noticed, but had tried not to think about.

 My father, now, was already so emaciated that he had lost his face, and I could see the look of death on his face. He is unconscious, or if he is, he can't talk properly. That's exactly what it looked like, and it wouldn't be surprising if he died tomorrow.

''........Are you telling me to give up?''
I'm sure you will regret not being able to see Master Raven through to the end. Master Ars, please think carefully before you decide to look for a doctor.

 I was irresistibly annoyed by that calm way of Leets' saying it.
 It's not Leetz's fault. He's just looking at reality accurately and expressing his opinion about me. It's me who is at fault for not being able to see the reality.

 I know this, and yet I can't control my frustration.
 If I don't, I'm going to say terrible things to Reetz.
 I tried to walk back to my room in silence to cool off.


Lady Arus!

 One of the servants of the mansion approached me. He was the servant who had been entrusted with my father's care.

'What's the matter?'
Master Raven has just been awakened. He is unusually clear. He would like to speak with Master Arth alone.