You can't joke around with me, either.
But you can't really say it out loud with God, even if you think it's a joke.
I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I really want to show this idiot how great bamboo shoots are.
"Don't read my mind!
You can't even complain in your mind, you can't be careless or careless.
..........Well, let's see, to summarize the information, the gods descended to eat rice with bamboo shoots?
Wouldn't you like to be an a**h*le in the understatement of the word?
I had a vague preconceived notion that when God comes to earth, something much more spectacular is going to happen.
Isn't that true?
This is an important matter for the prestige of God. Keep in mind that the fate of the world hangs on your every move.
You're making a big deal out of it.
"Will you stop, my brother? Your bravado has the wind of men's children in their sails.
is Poseidon, the god of the sea, who proudly holds up his three-pronged spear.
The brothers of the earth have a bad habit of getting pissed off. It's only recently. There are times when the gods exchange nonsense among themselves.'
According to Mr. Poseidon, the god of the earth and the sea had this conversation
* * * *
Hades (H) "I highly recommend rice with bamboo shoots.
Poseidos (hereinafter: po) 'Stupid, wow, just food on earth'
Ha 'No, it's not, you'll know it when you try it'
Po, 'You don't have to eat it to know it. There's no such thing as an earthly thing that's beyond the God Realm.'
C. "Don't be judgmental or I'll beat you up.
Po, "Owww, you're doing it?
* * *
So I've decided to make things black and white by actually eating bamboo grass and rice.
With a super-serious face, Hades God says
.........When he came to this person before, we served him a meal as a form of hospitality, and that meal was rice with bamboo shoots.
The taste of the rice was so pleasing that Hades even designated it as "God's food".
If it is denied head-on, it will make you angry.
........But I can tell from listening to the recollections that the God of Poseidon's incendiary tone of voice is guaranteed to piss you off even if it's not.
'O visitor from another world. I command you in anticipation of your excellence and generosity. I command you to be excellent and forgiving, and I hope you'll offer me more of that bamboo shoot rice again and make this idiot sea god of a crank.
Apparently, the Dark God wants it.
Now I finally have an outline of the story that I'm starting to understand.
Why do I have to mimic a gourmet comic book hero like that? I don't think so, but I owe the God of Hades a debt of gratitude for summoning me several times in the past to heed his request.
Thanks to him, my crops are growing better this season than last year, and I owe it to the spirits of the earth, my beloved companions, for their blessing on my farm.
'I can't say I'd hate to be asked to do such a thing by the Hades gods, but...'
There is one problem.
This time, I wasn't prepared to make rice with bamboo shoots at all.
We had to go to the bamboo forest we'd built in the spring area of the mountain dungeon to get fresh bamboo shoots and cook them... and so on and so forth.
Unfortunately, we don't have any stock of bamboo shoots at the moment.
We'll have to go to the bamboo forest now and bring the dug-up bamboo shoots back to the house and start cooking them in a day.
'If you had at least told me what you wanted to do first, I could have been ready and waiting...'
I could have given you an oracle, you could have done that.
''Hahahaha. ''Brothers of the earth have a habit of making mistakes in arrangements when they are excited. That's what they used to do during the creation.
What's the matter with you? Then, if you leave once and ask them to summon you again when the otherworlders are ready...!''
"What? I had to make time to come along with you because you talked so much~? I made time for you in your busy schedule, though~
"Shut up, it's not like I'm bored anyway!
Please don't stir things up, God of the Sea.
It can't be helped.
You know what?
I instructed Gobukichi to bring me something from the pavilion.
It was the remainder of the already finished lunch, and it was painful to offer the leftovers to the gods, but it was urgent, so I had no choice.
''What is this?''
Green peas on rice.
Don't think it's a mixed rice again.
It's a sudden thing, so it can't be helped.
Here's what we all ate for lunch today, and I made the extra rice into an omusubi.
It's delicious even when it's cold.
That's the strength of mixed rice.
For now, please try this one.
Although I encouraged him to do so.
Regret was already beginning to bubble up in my mind.
Because leftovers, you know?
God, of all people!
I knew it was premature. Shouldn't I have prepared a proper one, even if I had to bide my time!
Will you stop me from reading this conflict of mine again, gods?
It wasn't a miracle!
That's God. He doesn't read anything called air!
Poseidon, the god of the sea, chewed the rice ball of green peas, which had cooled down completely, and swallowed it down to the grains of rice on his fingertips.
"....I declare the green pea rice to be the food of God.
I'm so glad you like it!
But don't you think you're spreading God's food around a bit too much?
"Yummy! Delicious! The sticky texture of this grain, accented by the crunch of the green beans mixed in! Best of all, the whole food is extraordinarily tangy and salty! After all, saltiness is the ultimate taste!
The god of the sea began to report on the food.
"It's true, it's true. ...well, it's not as good as rice with bamboo shoots.
The Hades gods don't go out of their way to appeal to you for their inferred rice.
And he ate a few rice balls and ate himself.
'....Brother of the Earth. I'm going to have to admit that I'm at fault here. It's true that the deliciousness of this otherworldly people's food is comparable to that of a god.
''Mm-hmm. It's best for people and gods to be honest. But brother of the sea. It's fine to admire excellence, but aren't you behaving a little out of sobriety?
The chewing of the god Poseidon stopped at the disturbing statement.
'Thou hast decreed this green pea rice to be God's food, but examine it carefully. Are not the grains and beans that are the ingredients of this food the fruit of the earth?'
The same goes for rice cooked with bamboo shoots. It's a good thing that this dish is the culmination of the sweat and wisdom of the otherworldly people here, but if the source is a blessing from the earth, then there's no problem for Hades, the husband of Mother Earth, to praise it, but what about you?
Poseidon, god of the sea.
'Is it not transgressive to praise this green peas rice, shaped by the bounty of the earth, by you who rule the great sea? Didn't think you were as senseless a god as that Zeus? Hmm? Hmm?
The God of Hades is here to stir things up back up.
I've been agitated many times before, so it's not hard to understand how I feel.
I really don't want a war of the gods to break out because of my farm.
They often say that the more agitated a person is, the more vulnerable they are to being agitated.
The God of Poseidon also follows that theory, and his face turns red and trembles.
''O visitor from another world.......!
You just walked in here?
"In anticipation of thy wisdom and justice, I command you! Offer me a dish made of sea salt worthy of my praise! And I give you the blessing of Poseidon, god of the sea!